_OceanofPDF

Here we were, under a clear sky, with the hum of the pool filter and the
squeak of crickets accompanying a story he’d never told another soul. I
didn’t know what response he was expecting or what he needed to hear. I
couldn’t tell if he wanted me to soothe him, cheerlead his choices, or if he
wanted me to bolster his low opinion of himself.
“So why lie about this then?” I asked. “About us?”
“Because I’m pissed my father put me in this situation. There’s nothing
like anger to make you feel like you’re right to do wrong.”
The observation wasn’t directed at me or my decision to take him up on
his offer, but I felt it like a knife to the heart. I’d been angry for years, and
I’d used that rage to justify marrying him.
The moral high ground was narrow and slippery.
“We can get an annulment,” I said, letting my heart speak before my
brain sorted out the consequences.
“And then what? For you?”
“I’ll still be my father’s daughter. Still holding down the fort from the
base.”
He shrugged, hooking his toes around an empty chair to turn it and prop
his feet on the cushion. “You’re all right. I definitely would have fucked
you under other circumstances.”
“But you never would have married me.”
“Can’t say that’s a lie.”
“Can you can keep it up for a year?” I said.
“Maybe.” He leaned his head against the back of the chair to gaze at the
sky, then closed his eyes. “I’m too tired to think.”
“Me too.” I stood, holding out my hand. “Come on. There’s an ocean of
mattress in there. It’s big enough for both of us.”
He considered my hand for a moment, then took it, grabbed his laptop,
and led me to the bedroom. He put down the computer, and I shut off the
light before getting under the covers.
“This is my side of the bed,” he said, standing over me and tossing his
hoodie over a chair.
“You said that the first time we slept together,” I answered, pulling the
blanket up to my chin. “Our first date.”
“And you pretended you were already asleep.”
I shut my eyes, opened my mouth, and made snoring noises. He
laughed, and I felt the mattress dip at the center as he crawled over me.