01 OC Mag 01-24

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Northwestern College theatre professor Bob Hubbard pages through a copy of his book “Scenes with My Son: Love and Grief in the Wake of Suicide,” written as a tribute to his youngest of three sons, August “Auggie” Hubbard, pictured as an infant on his desk. Auggie died from suicide at 19 years old. something else to do. So, there again in a coffee shop in Nassau I wrote the book. Looking back, it was a blessing because I wouldn’t have had that window of opportunity to write otherwise.” The three sections of vignettes became “Beautiful Boy,” which introduces the reader to Auggie; “The Family Monster,” which chronicles Auggie’s battle with clinical depression; and “The Life After,” which recounts the aftermath of Auggie’s suicide. “As a theatre person, I believe in the power of story. I wasn’t sure where that would go, but earlier in my career I studied the theological idea of vocation,” Bob said. “A misconception is that a vocation is not necessarily what we do for a living, it can be more akin to a pilgrimage. Vocations are often not fun or easy, but things we feel called to do. One of the reasons I wrote is because I felt a calling or vocation to try to make sense of what happened.” “Scenes With My Son,” however, is not a work of apologetics tackling the problem of pain. Instead, it’s a story of great loss and hope. In the wake of Auggie’s death, Bob wrote a few extensive social media posts about what was going on so as to not hide or pretend his son died another way — posts which various acquaintances said were helpful. Later, once Bob began to read again, he, too, found comfort in hearing people’s stories who have endured something similar. “That was comforting,” he said. “When something so awful happens, you can feel so alone, like nobody could possibly understand, and then you read stories about others who have gone through something similar and you find a cloud of witnesses, you sort of find a community.” Bob also wanted to share his struggles even as a man of faith. “I didn’t want to try to explain why this happened, I didn’t want to try to say things like, ‘God is in control of everything.’ I wanted to do narrative theology,” he said. “I believe everything is terribly broken, that we all suffer under the same sun that rises and sets on us all and having faith may help endure these hardships but not protect you from them.” Another goal is to help others understand or share his feelings. “I hope this book will inspire empathy for people who don’t have any other practical way of understanding what it’s like to lose a child to suicide,” he said. “Maybe there will be less stigma around depression. Maybe others won’t see it as a weakness because, through this narrative journey, they see how much Auggie fought.” Bob also wrote the book to celebrate his son. “Many of the reviews say they feel like they got to know my son by reading this,” he said. “I live in the resurrection, the hope that I will get to see my son again one day and all of this will be redeemed. I hope this book isn’t all we have of Auggie, but right now it is. I want to let people know about him, so I’m thrilled other people will get to know this crazy, passionate character and feel like they have insights into how remarkable he is.” 8 OC MAGAZINE | SPRING 2024
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01 OC Mag 01-24

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