01 OC Mag 01-24

Northwestern
College theatre
professor Bob
Hubbard pages
through a copy
of his book
“Scenes with
My Son: Love
and Grief in
the Wake of
Suicide,” written
as a tribute to
his youngest
of three sons,
August “Auggie”
Hubbard,
pictured as an
infant on his
desk. Auggie
died from
suicide at 19
years old.
something else to do. So, there again in a coffee
shop in Nassau I wrote the book. Looking back, it
was a blessing because I wouldn’t have had that
window of opportunity to write otherwise.”
The three sections of vignettes became “Beautiful
Boy,” which introduces the reader to Auggie;
“The Family Monster,” which chronicles Auggie’s
battle with clinical depression; and “The Life After,”
which recounts the aftermath of Auggie’s suicide.
“As a theatre person, I believe in the power of
story. I wasn’t sure where that would go, but earlier
in my career I studied the theological idea of vocation,”
Bob said. “A misconception is that a vocation
is not necessarily what we do for a living, it can be
more akin to a pilgrimage. Vocations are often not
fun or easy, but things we feel called to do. One
of the reasons I wrote is because I felt a calling or
vocation to try to make sense of what happened.”
“Scenes With My Son,” however, is not a work of
apologetics tackling the problem of pain. Instead,
it’s a story of great loss and hope.
In the wake of Auggie’s death, Bob wrote a few
extensive social media posts about what was going
on so as to not hide or pretend
his son died another way — posts
which various acquaintances said
were helpful. Later, once Bob began
to read again, he, too, found comfort
in hearing people’s stories who have
endured something similar.
“That was comforting,” he said.
“When something so awful happens,
you can feel so alone, like nobody
could possibly understand, and then
you read stories about others who
have gone through something similar
and you find a cloud of witnesses,
you sort of find a community.”
Bob also wanted to share his
struggles even as a man of faith.
“I didn’t want to try to explain
why this happened, I didn’t want
to try to say things like, ‘God is in
control of everything.’ I wanted to do
narrative theology,” he said. “I believe everything is
terribly broken, that we all suffer under the same
sun that rises and sets on us all and having faith
may help endure these hardships but not protect
you from them.”
Another goal is to help others understand or
share his feelings.
“I hope this book will inspire empathy for people
who don’t have any other practical way of understanding
what it’s like to lose a child to suicide,”
he said. “Maybe there will be less stigma around
depression. Maybe others won’t see it as a weakness
because, through this narrative journey, they
see how much Auggie fought.”
Bob also wrote the book to celebrate his son.
“Many of the reviews say they feel like they got
to know my son by reading this,” he said. “I live in
the resurrection, the hope that I will get to see my
son again one day and all of this will be redeemed.
I hope this book isn’t all we have of Auggie, but
right now it is. I want to let people know about
him, so I’m thrilled other people will get to know
this crazy, passionate character and feel like they
have insights into how remarkable he is.”
8 OC MAGAZINE | SPRING 2024