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50 Shades of Hillwalking by Ralph Storer sampler

In 50 Shades of Hillwalking, Ralph Storer takes a quirky look at the peculiar pursuit of messing about on mountains and presents us with 50 personal hillwalking experiences. Walking, climbing, mountain biking, caving – Ralph has tried it all, but admits to expertise only in the lost art of ‘festering’. With room also for contemplation and argument, his inimitable 50 Shades will amuse, inspire and inform.

In 50 Shades of Hillwalking, Ralph Storer takes a quirky look at the peculiar pursuit of messing about on mountains and presents us with 50 personal hillwalking experiences. Walking, climbing, mountain biking, caving – Ralph has tried it all, but admits to expertise only in the lost art of ‘festering’. With room also for contemplation and argument, his inimitable 50 Shades will amuse, inspire and inform.

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Three came back… just (author in centre)<br />

to climb the last <strong>50</strong>0 yards to the summit was at liberty to do so<br />

while the rest waited. Three <strong>of</strong> us took up the challenge –<br />

myself, Dave and a schoolmate from another class whose name<br />

I no longer remember.<br />

Within a short distance the path disappeared, to be replaced<br />

<strong>by</strong> a smooth snow bank that angled up to our left and fell away<br />

into the mist on our right. Only a thin line <strong>of</strong> shallow footprints<br />

hinted at the route onwards. In our innocence, we sat on the<br />

snow bank, stamped our heels into the footprints and continued<br />

to inch summit-wards with crablike movements. My thin nylon<br />

anorak soon became a wet rag and my even thinner nylon overtrousers<br />

were ripped apart <strong>by</strong> the wind, but the swirling cloud<br />

made us unaware <strong>of</strong> the a<strong>by</strong>ss below our feet and the danger we<br />

were in.<br />

I still recall the moment that our schoolmate lost his footing<br />

and began to slide away from us. By chance, before he gathered<br />

speed, his boot caught on a protruding pebble and his flailing<br />

hands managed to indent the snow sufficiently to gain purchase.<br />

He gasped. Dave and I held our breath. We were good boys and<br />

didn’t swear.<br />

Somehow, the boy wormed his way back up beside us and<br />

the precariousness <strong>of</strong> our position finally dawned on us. We<br />

retreated, in earnest silence, with infinitely more caution than we<br />

10 siren call

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