Shatter-Me-PDF-Shatter-Me-Series-Shatter-Me-Shatter-Me-1-Tahereh-Mafi (1)

starvation I’m so hungry so hungry so hungry I can’t even
imagine what real food must taste like.
Adam’s face is inscrutable again. “You should hurry. I can
show you how everything works.”
I don’t have time to protest before he’s in the bathroom
and I’ve followed him inside. The door is still open and he’s
standing in the middle of the small space with his back to
me and I can’t understand why. “I already know how to use
the bathroom,” I tell him. I used to live in a regular home. I
used to have a family.
He turns around very, very slowly and I begin to panic. He
finally lifts his head but his eyes are darting in every
direction. When he looks at me his eyes narrow; his
forehead is tight. His right hand curls into a fist and his left
hand lifts one finger to his lips. He’s telling me to be quiet.
Every organ in my body falls to the floor.
I knew something was coming but I didn’t know it’d be
Adam. I didn’t think he’d be the one to hurt me, to torture
me, to make me wish for death more than I ever have
before. I don’t even realize I’m crying until I hear the
whimper and feel the silent tears stream down my face and
I’m ashamed so ashamed so ashamed of my weakness but
a part of me doesn’t care. I’m tempted to beg, to ask for
mercy, to steal his gun and shoot myself first. Dignity is the
only thing I have left.
He seems to register my sudden hysteria because his eyes
snap open and his mouth falls to the floor. “No, God, Juliette
—I’m not—” He swears under his breath. He pumps his fist
against his forehead and turns away, sighing heavily, pacing
the length of the small space. He swears again.
He walks out the door and doesn’t look back.