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Alma’s<br />
journey<br />
Judith Carrillo<br />
illustrated by:<br />
Manuela Romero
There are those who live without a heart; there are those<br />
who have one without using it; and even those who do not<br />
want to listen to it! Having a broken heart is the price you<br />
pay for daring to live. What kind of heart do you have?
And that girl appeared; Alma, they called her. I say<br />
that “they called her“ because she could have had any<br />
other name, for example, yours. She lived in any place<br />
that could be named after your city. What I can tell<br />
you is that it was a very beautiful place located between<br />
mountains and rivers.<br />
She was a girl, normal in appearance, just like you.<br />
She attended a normal school with normal family<br />
and friends. But there was a trait that distinguished<br />
her from other children (and I’m sure you also have<br />
some unique traits). Do you know what’s yours? Well,<br />
going back to the topic, that characteristic trait of hers<br />
was that she wondered and questioned absolutely<br />
everything.<br />
She was not satisfied with what they taught her at<br />
school, at home, or what she heard on TV. Whenever she<br />
saw people around her, she wondered if any of them<br />
felt like her, if anyone had doubts too, because at first<br />
glance everyone seemed to be happy and satisfied.<br />
“But don’t they have dreams? Don’t they have desires?”<br />
she would occasionally ask herself. When she asked<br />
the adults she met, none of their answers seemed<br />
to convince her.
But Alma did not give up that easily; it would be a<br />
shame to hide what makes us unique simply because we<br />
don’t want to be different from others, don’t you think?<br />
What she felt was so strong that she couldn’t simply<br />
turn it off. Someone had to break the mold! Why not<br />
her? Why not you?<br />
From a very young age, she already showed interest<br />
in everything that surrounded her: the world,<br />
the people who inhabited it, where they lived, and<br />
the language they spoke, among other things. Where<br />
could she find answers to all those questions? Books!<br />
She always asked her dad to take her to wherever she<br />
could find them, for she was inspired by them, and<br />
they taught her everything she needed to know. Her<br />
imagination went further; she saw herself getting lost<br />
in streets in faraway lands whose names she could<br />
not even pronounce, trying different types of food you<br />
never thought could exist, and always being surrounded<br />
by many friends. She wanted to live the adventures<br />
of the characters in the books she read.<br />
Alma could spend hours looking at pictures of other<br />
places and placing them on the maps; this is what she<br />
really likes, maps! This was the way that Alma filled<br />
the restlessness she felt.
This book thing wasn’t bad for a while, but nothing<br />
seemed to satisfy her, so she felt worse. That restlessness<br />
she felt soon turned into emptiness.<br />
Her dad saw her become sadder with every passing<br />
day, so he approached her and asked:<br />
- “What’s wrong with you, Alma?”<br />
- “I want a life like that of the people in the books<br />
I read; I want to have adventures too,” Alma said,<br />
downcast. “Life cannot just be like this,” she retorted,<br />
pointing at the window. “For example, I still don’t<br />
know what’s behind those mountains.”<br />
- “But you have many things to entertain yourself<br />
with,”<br />
- “I want to be full of stories, not full of things, dad.”<br />
- “Well, if you don’t like the world you live in,<br />
change it, and don’t be sad about the big emptiness<br />
you feel. Feel happy about everything you can fill<br />
it with. Be grateful for that wish, for being brave,<br />
because cowards will always live their dreams<br />
through you.”
Alma was determined to change her world. She<br />
didn’t mind leaving her family, her home, and<br />
everything else she knew behind. What did she stand<br />
to lose? Would you have done the same thing, leaving<br />
everything behind to fulfil your wishes? Are you that<br />
brave? This works like a GPS; until you move, you<br />
have no idea if you’re going in the right direction.<br />
Even so, don’t think that she wasn’t haunted, from<br />
time to time, by uncertainty. She didn’t know how<br />
or where she was going. She knew that her dreams<br />
were hidden behind her fear. Before leaving, she thought<br />
about what he could do to avoid getting lost. Would<br />
you use a map? “Of course!” She concluded that the<br />
best map of the world was that of her own life.<br />
Alma packed her backpack with only the things she<br />
thought she would need and went to look for her dad.<br />
- “Because when you come back, you will no longer<br />
be the same. Come back only when you fill that void<br />
in your heart.”<br />
“When you return, you will no longer be the same.<br />
When you return, you will no longer be the same.<br />
“Alma repeated this in her head, but she couldn’t understand<br />
it. What did he mean?<br />
- “I’m leaving!” she said confidently.<br />
Her dad already knew this. He always knew that<br />
she would, sooner or later, leave.<br />
- “Very well, Alma,” he replied, “but this is where<br />
we have to say goodbye.”<br />
- “Why Dad?” quizzed Alma.
And with that, with her backpack and the map of<br />
her life, she left everything behind.<br />
For many years, she walked around the world. At<br />
long last, she could get to know those places that were<br />
in her books, and believe me, they were even better<br />
than what she had read. She also had the time to get<br />
to know herself. She dared to do things she thought<br />
she could never do. The more she learned, the smaller<br />
the hollowness in her heart became.<br />
She boarded trains that traversed mountains, crossed<br />
deserts, ate brightly coloured fruits, bathed in cenotes,<br />
swam across islands, learned new languages,<br />
and climbed trees in jungles. She ran miles through<br />
many cities and slept in hammocks looking at the<br />
stars. And most importantly, she always had friends<br />
with whom she could build her story.<br />
It was curious and strange to her how she felt more<br />
comfortable with people who had different nationalities,<br />
religions, skin colour, or languages than with<br />
people who were from the same city as her. She could<br />
recognise herself in everyone she met. She was like a<br />
seed, ready to grow on any type of land. Inexplicably,<br />
the more she learned, the smaller the emptiness<br />
in her heart became.
One day, while she was rocking in her hammock at<br />
the foot of the Caribbean, she stood up and said:<br />
- “It’s time to go back; now I have a heart, and I<br />
want to share with everyone what I have inside.”<br />
Convinced, Alma grabbed her backpack once more,<br />
as she had done hundreds of times, but this time she<br />
was heading home.<br />
the floor, trying to put it together, but she didn’t know<br />
how. She started crying like never before. Not only<br />
that, but she was so sad that she felt paralysed.<br />
She didn’t remember the way home being so long<br />
but given how anxious she was and how lost she<br />
was, thinking of all the stories she wanted to share,<br />
she didn’t care. She was so close to getting there that,<br />
in the distance, she could make out the mountains she<br />
used to see from her window when she was little. Likewise,<br />
she could only smile at the thought of the times<br />
she wondered what was behind them, and now she<br />
returned knowing the answer.<br />
Alma was walking too fast to notice a small stone<br />
in the road. Guess what happened? She stumbled,<br />
and with such bad luck, her heart, which she was so<br />
proud of, fell, smashing into thousands of pieces. Can<br />
you imagine how she felt? So many years searching<br />
for a heart for nothing! She immediately sat down on
And because of this, she became oblivious to<br />
everything that was happening around her: the<br />
day, the night, the stations, and the people who<br />
walked by her. We know what it is like to feel sadness:<br />
the unconscious passage of time. And within<br />
her, deep silence.<br />
A man passing by saw her crying and asked,<br />
- “It’s not just about having a heart, Alma; it’s<br />
also about knowing how to take care of it and protect<br />
it. Staying like this without doing anything<br />
only hinders your growth. The stone made your<br />
heart fall; there, you are right.<br />
- “Girl, what’s wrong with you?” Alma wiped her<br />
eyes and looked at the man, realising that it was<br />
her dad.<br />
- ”Don’t you recognise me?” It’s me, Alma.<br />
- “Alma? Is that you?” He answered in surprise.<br />
- “Yes, Dad it’s me! “But she couldn’t understand<br />
why he didn’t recognise her.”<br />
- “What are you doing here?” What happened?”<br />
- “I was finally able to build a heart, and on the<br />
way back it broke, and now I don’t know how to<br />
fix it. And all because of that stone! If only that<br />
stone hadn’t been there”.
But as you did not want to listen to what life had<br />
to tell you, it sat you down and spoke to you. All the<br />
times you said goodbye, the times you lost, the people<br />
who left you, the forgiveness you never gave or never<br />
accepted, that’s what made your heart break. It was<br />
just a matter of time.<br />
While she was listening to him, memories came back<br />
to her.<br />
- “Dad, these hurt,” she said.<br />
- “Alma, calm down; this is your awakening. Listening<br />
hurts but ignoring hurts more.”<br />
- “What an irony! I have travelled around the<br />
world, and here is where I get lost.”<br />
- “Now, let’s see what you are carrying in your<br />
backpack.”<br />
- “I am not carrying anything, dad,” Alma replied,<br />
confused.<br />
- “Yes, you are, but you have never understood<br />
what you have been carrying.”<br />
Reluctantly, she removed her backpack and opened<br />
it. Many times we think that what we are carrying<br />
is bad, and yes it can be unless we transform the<br />
burdens we carry into something useful. It was something<br />
that Alma still hadn’t learned. Remember, a<br />
wound should never be in vain.<br />
- “Alma, if you accept wounds as failures and not<br />
as moments of learning, the pain will be wasted, and<br />
all your effort would have been for nothing. I can’t<br />
promise you that the pain will never return, but I can<br />
promise you that you will learn what to do if it does.”<br />
- “Oh!” she exclaimed tenderly, “Look Dad!” as every<br />
single person she met on her trip magically appeared<br />
in front of her. In her mind, she remembered the first<br />
time she was called daughter, sister, or friend. She<br />
remembered the kisses, the hugs, the “I love you,” and<br />
the time when Alma was sick, and they cared for her.<br />
What are friends for? Each memory was giving her<br />
a piece of her heart back until her heart was put back<br />
together again. Alma was happy to see them all together.<br />
She couldn’t believe it; the sadness was gone.<br />
- “How could I forget you?! But where were you<br />
when I fell?” she sobbed.<br />
- “We were always here, but you were so sad looking<br />
outside that you forgot to look inside of you;<br />
that’s where we live. “When you do not know what to<br />
do or where to go, you must return to yourself; that’s<br />
why it’s important that you heal and make yourself a<br />
place where you always want to be.”<br />
- “But my heart is broken, and it’s full of wounds.”<br />
- “The challenge is that the wounds will remain, but<br />
not the pain.”
As she understood this, each of her friends disappeared<br />
before her eyes, but not before she told them<br />
how much she loved and missed them. She didn’t<br />
want to, but she had to continue alone. Now she had<br />
learned that every time she felt fear, sadness, or<br />
whenever her heart broke, the only thing she had to<br />
do was to look within and return to herself.<br />
When she stood up, it seemed that her body had<br />
changed. Her clothes were small, she had long hair,<br />
she was taller, and her hands were bigger. She<br />
didn’t look like a child anymore; did she look older?<br />
Had she grown up? Now I understood what was<br />
going on. Is that why my dad didn’t recognize me?<br />
And it was at that moment that that phrase returned<br />
to her.<br />
When you return, you won’t be the same.<br />
- “Dad, now I understand, I’m not the same anymore.<br />
It all makes sense. It’s clear. Travel, the<br />
wounds, and the goodbyes changed me and made me<br />
grow.”
All the pieces were in place, except for one. She had<br />
one piece hidden in her hand, and she didn’t want to<br />
let go of it. But she had grown up! So, she took a deep<br />
breath and, with a tender smile, closed her eyes, stretched<br />
on her tiptoes, raised her arm, opened her hand,<br />
and looked on as that piece danced in the heavens<br />
where those who left before her lived. Have you been<br />
holding on to something so tight that it ends up hurting<br />
you? Letting go is also loving. She had to let them<br />
go so that the gap could be filled by more people. There<br />
are pieces of us that we are better off without.<br />
The clouds had cleared. “At what moment did the sky<br />
become so beautiful and the sun so bright?” she asked<br />
herself. She braved her pain because she had to continue.<br />
When she walked by people, she could now understand<br />
what they were carrying in their hearts. It’s<br />
not that they didn’t have dreams or desires, like she<br />
thought. Before they started their journey, all they had<br />
was fear. Many had their hearts broken; others were<br />
empty; others were half full; others were repressed;<br />
others were locked. Alma pitied them because she realized<br />
that their souls had not travelled. Now she had<br />
the gift of recognizing wounds like hers.
Among the crowds of people, a small dog with a<br />
seemingly wounded heart crossed her path. Alma<br />
approached the dog and asked:<br />
- “Who are you, and what seems to be the matter?”<br />
- “I am Mambo. I have been abandoned, and I am<br />
very afraid.” The cowering puppy replied.<br />
- “Ah! Don’t Worry. I know how to heal wounds,”<br />
she said in a very reassuring voice. “I have been<br />
away for a long time, and I was on my way home.<br />
Would you like to come with me?”<br />
The poor little dog wagged his tail, and he happily<br />
replied yes.
The chapter ends here, but their story continues.<br />
Mambo, Alma, and their hearts had a long road ahead<br />
to heal, but she didn’t care because, as she had been<br />
comforted, now she would seek to comfort others.<br />
I am leaving you with a broken heart so that you<br />
can write down the things that can make your heart<br />
whole again every time it breaks.
©Judith Carrillo Mitjana (de la obra)<br />
©Apuleyo Ediciones (de esta edición)<br />
Primera edición en Apuleyo Ediciones: septiembre 2023<br />
Diseño de cubierta: Sofía Corzo González<br />
Corrección: Aitor Andreu Guerrero<br />
Maquetación: Francisco José Cordero Mora<br />
Ilustraciones: Diana Valdayo García<br />
Coordinación editorial: Isidoro Cidre González<br />
info@apuleyoediciones.com<br />
www.apuleyoediciones.com<br />
ISBN: 978-84-19938-46-6<br />
Depósito legal: H 290-2023<br />
No está permitida la reproducción total o parcial de este libro, ni<br />
su tratamiento informático, ni la transmisión de ninguna forma o<br />
por cualquier medio, ya sea electrónico, mecánico, por fotocopia,<br />
por registro u otros métodos, sin permiso previo y por escrito de<br />
los titulares del copyright.<br />
Hecho e impreso en España.
Have you ever wondered what keeps<br />
your heart whole and how to mend it<br />
if it breaks? Would you be brave<br />
enough to leave everything behind to<br />
find out? Would you undertake this<br />
inner journey? Join Alma, Mambo and<br />
yourself on this adventure to find out.