Rhiwbina Living
Summer 2023 issue of Rhiwbina Living, the award-winning magazine for Rhiwbina.
Summer 2023 issue of Rhiwbina Living, the award-winning magazine for Rhiwbina.
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- wales
- whitchurch
- rhiwbina
- cardiff
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Kath packed a suitcase and walked<br />
out on him forever.<br />
High in a tree, the rustle of a bird<br />
at the end of the garden brought<br />
Tom back to his cup of tea in the<br />
sunshine. A flash of black and white<br />
told him it was the magpie that had<br />
seemed to have made its home<br />
there for the last 20 years.<br />
Tom looked down at his hands. He<br />
studied them closely. Now mottled<br />
with age spots and wrinkles, they'd<br />
got him through a lot. Then he<br />
studied his wedding ring. The one<br />
that had bonded him to Kath all<br />
those years ago. Its lustre may had<br />
faded but his love for her had never<br />
dimmed, despite her leaving. When<br />
she passed, he only found out from<br />
the man on the bus stop.<br />
"I never deserved her," Tom<br />
muttered. With his right hand, he<br />
wrenched the ring off his finger and<br />
threw it down the full length of the<br />
garden, where is disappeared into<br />
the uncut grass.<br />
Louise appeared at the back door.<br />
"You ok Dad?"<br />
"Yes. I'm fine," he replied as his<br />
daughter took a seat next to him.<br />
Tom took another sip of his tea,<br />
hoping she hadn't seen what he<br />
had done.<br />
"I let you down. I wasn't there for<br />
you," he said.<br />
Louise looked at him, confused.<br />
"What? When?"<br />
"In life."<br />
"Course you were there for us! You<br />
worked all the hours God sent you<br />
to keep a roof over our heads. Of<br />
course you were there for us."<br />
Tom stared ahead. He knew in his<br />
heart this was true, but there was<br />
more to being a father than just<br />
working and getting the money in.<br />
"I wasn't there for you when you<br />
were getting bullied in school. I let<br />
your mother deal with it."<br />
"She was the feisty one though. It<br />
was probably best left to her."<br />
"That's no excuse. I should have<br />
spoken up too. I was scared<br />
myself. I should have put my fear<br />
to one side and been there for<br />
you. To make you feel that at least<br />
someone was fighting your corner.<br />
That at least someone was there to<br />
protect you. That's what fathers are<br />
supposed to do, right?"<br />
Louise looked out into the garden.<br />
He had a point. He would often say<br />
that he'd be there for her but when<br />
it came to the test, he was found<br />
wanting.<br />
"I was never brave enough. Not like<br />
your mother."<br />
"She was fearless," replied Louise.<br />
Tom looked at his daughter.<br />
"No. Not fearless. That suggests<br />
she had no fear to begin with. She<br />
was just as scared as I was. She just<br />
put that to one side and stuck up<br />
for you. She did it frightened."<br />
"Hey Dad. What is all this about?<br />
Stop beating yourself up. It's all in<br />
the past now."<br />
"I know. But I was never there. I was<br />
always wondering where the next<br />
win would come from. The next<br />
lucky horse."<br />
Louise took the cup of tea from<br />
her father's hand and placed it on<br />
the garden table. Then she faced<br />
him and took his hands in hers.<br />
She smiled.<br />
"Dad. Do you remember when I<br />
was 12 and I went on a school trip to<br />
Paris?"<br />
"Yes. You brought me back a<br />
French beret," said Dad, chuckling.<br />
Then his face dropped. "But I wasn't<br />
there to pick you up when the<br />
coach got back late at night. See? I<br />
wasn't there for you."<br />
"No. You weren't there. You weren't<br />
there because you were working in<br />
that pub."<br />
"Oh, God yes. I wasn't there long<br />
mind. I got caught throwing back a<br />
few shorts to keep me going on the<br />
late shifts. Sticky fingers."<br />
"The reason you were working in<br />
the pub was because you weren't<br />
earning enough on the buses to<br />
keep us all going."<br />
"True," Tom nodded. "They were<br />
long nights up that pub, I tell you. I'd<br />
finish at midnight and be up again<br />
at 5am to head to the bus yard,"<br />
pondered Tom.<br />
"Yes. That's right. I remember<br />
seeing you come home one night,<br />
drop your wage packet into the<br />
ceramic chicken that we used to<br />
have on the dining room table, and<br />
then disappear straight back out<br />
to start your pub shift. You worked<br />
hard, Dad."<br />
Tom nodded, the memories<br />
coming back to him in dribs and<br />
drabs.<br />
"If it wasn't for you Dad," continued<br />
Louise, "I wouldn't have afforded my<br />
school trip. And if I hadn't gone to<br />
Paris, I wouldn't have fallen in love<br />
with the language and I wouldn't be<br />
loving my translator job right now."<br />
Tom smiled. This was true. He<br />
looked at Louise proudly.<br />
"So I did have a few good points?"<br />
he asked. "One at least?"<br />
"You gave me life, Dad. A chance<br />
to experience this world. That was<br />
your gift. That's all you needed to<br />
do. I figured out the rest. No one is<br />
perfect. And you didn't need to be."<br />
Louise placed her father's hands<br />
short story<br />
back into his lap. He was smiling an<br />
awkward smile.<br />
"As I was getting older," said Tom, "I<br />
realised that I was fast running out<br />
of time to fix all the wrongs I'd done<br />
in life. And then, when I got this<br />
diagnosis last month, I realised my<br />
life had been one long failure."<br />
"Failure is part of life. Failure is<br />
part of learning. Failure is part of<br />
success. You had to fail to win."<br />
A loud chattering from the magpie<br />
in the tree disrupted their moment<br />
together. The magpie fluttered<br />
down onto the lawn at the far end<br />
of the garden. They both looked at<br />
it.<br />
"It's gorgeous, isn't it?" said Louise.<br />
"Yes. They mate for life apparently,"<br />
said Tom.<br />
The magpie pecked at the ground<br />
where Tom's wedding ring had<br />
landed.<br />
"Erm! Can you fetch me a biscuit<br />
to finish off my cuppa?" asked Tom<br />
abruptly.<br />
"What would you like?"<br />
"Just get me whatever's there." Tom<br />
cast an eye to see what the magpie<br />
was doing.<br />
Thankfully, Louise stood and<br />
stepped into the house just as the<br />
magpie lifted its head. There, in<br />
its beak was Tom's wedding ring,<br />
gleaming in the summer sunshine.<br />
"Shoo! Shoo!" Tom tried to usher<br />
the bird away but the magpie stood<br />
there defiantly, looking directly at<br />
him. And then, without warning, it<br />
hopped across the lawn straight to<br />
Tom.<br />
"I can't find the Hob Nobs Dad.<br />
Do you want me to open the<br />
digestives?" called Louise from the<br />
kitchen.<br />
"Keep looking for the Hob Nobs,<br />
love. They're in there somewhere,"<br />
replied Tom, tracking the magpie all<br />
the way to his feet.<br />
The magpie stopped and cocked<br />
its head to the side, looking at Tom.<br />
His wedding ring was still in her<br />
beak and for a moment, Tom was<br />
captivated.<br />
He cast his eyes over this beautiful<br />
creature. Up close, its black<br />
plumage had taken on an more<br />
colourful hue; there was a purplishblue<br />
iridescent sheen to her wing<br />
feathers and behind, there was<br />
even a green gloss to her tail.<br />
"You?" said Tom quietly.<br />
The bird lowered its head and<br />
dropped Tom's ring at his feet. Tom<br />
leaned forward and picked it up.<br />
"Thank you, petal," said Tom.<br />
"Thank you."<br />
By Patric Morgan<br />
43