The Crown of Gilded Bones (Blood and..

Because I wasn’t okay.
I wasn’t okay with what had happened, with what it
could signal and what it meant when I didn’t even know
what I was now. Nor was I okay with learning that my
parents had been betrayed by someone they trusted—that
they’d truly been attempting to escape Solis with Ian and
me but never made it, risking their lives for me—for us. That
betrayal hurt, and the pain throbbed intensely. All those
things I tried not to think about crashed into me, and who…
who would be okay?
Seconds turned into minutes, and those minutes
stacked on top of one another. My tears dampened Casteel’s
chest. I hadn’t even cried like this when I lost Vikter. That
had been a harsher explosion of emotion, but Casteel…he
had been there for that, too. And as he held me to him, his
cheek pressed against the top of my head, his hands
smoothing up and down my back, I didn’t worry about being
seen as weak. I didn’t fear that I’d be reprimanded for
showing emotion as he gently rocked us back and forth. I
hadn’t even allowed myself to do this with Vikter, and I
knew he wouldn’t have judged me. He would’ve let me cry it
out and then told me to deal with it. And, sometimes, that
was what I needed. This wasn’t one of those times, and not
since my parents had died and Ian had left for Carsodonia
had I felt safe enough to be this vulnerable.
And I knew why I could be like this with Casteel. It was
further proof of what I felt so deeply when I opened my
senses to him now. I was drowning in the taste of chocolatedipped
strawberries.
Love.
Love and acceptance.
I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, but it felt like
a small eternity by the time the tears stopped flowing. My
eyes ached a little, but I felt lighter.
Casteel turned his head, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“You up for taking your first-ever shower? Afterwards, we’ll