The Crown of Gilded Bones (Blood and..

He dipped his head, kissing away a tear that had
wiggled free. I managed to pull myself together as he
pressed a kiss to my temple, to my forehead, and then to
the bridge of my nose as he picked up my left hand. His
eyes were closed as he dropped tiny kisses along the length
of the golden marriage imprint. I watched him in silence for
several moments, a little lost in him.
He touched the band around my forefinger. “I…I didn’t
want your first glimpse of Atlantia, of your home, to be
something horrific. I wanted you to see the beauty of our
home, of our people. I knew it wouldn’t be easy.” He
swallowed thickly. “Alastir was right when he said that some
of our people are superstitious and wary of newcomers, but
I wanted you to feel welcomed. Above all, I wanted you to
feel safe. I hate that this happened, and I’m sorry. I’m so
damn sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. You did everything to make sure I
was safe.”
“Did I?” he countered. “I knew there could be resistance.
I knew there would be people hungry for revenge. I
overestimated their desire to survive. I shouldn’t have let
you walk off like that. I should’ve been there. I failed to
protect you—”
“Stop.” I tipped forward, cupping his cheek with the
hand he didn’t hold. “It wasn’t your fault,” I repeated.
“Please, don’t think that. I…” I inhaled sharply. Sharing my
feelings had never been easy, not even after speaking those
incredibly powerful words. How could it be when I’d been
groomed to never do so? But I needed to continue to
breathe these words. I had to because I could feel the sour
bite of guilt. “I couldn’t bear it if you thought you were
responsible. I don’t want that to eat away at you. You
haven’t failed me. I don’t know where I would be right now if
it weren’t for you. I don’t even know if I would be alive.”
He said nothing as he closed his eyes, turning his head
so his cheek pressed into my palm.