Focus on the Family Magazine - August/September 2023

KIDS & TEENS / CELLPHONES
LIFE-SKILL
CHECKLIST
DO YOUR TEENS DO THESE
TASKS ON THEIR OWN
WITHOUT REMINDERS?
Personal hygiene
Laundry
Cleaning
Pet care
Babysitting
Homework
Waking up on time and
getting ready for school,
church or activities
DO YOUR TEENS HAVE A . . .
budget plan (tithing,
saving and spending)?
part-time job, a leadership
role or volunteer obligations?
ARE YOUR TEENS ABLE TO . . .
come to you when a task
or situation is too difficult?
respectfully stand up
for themselves?
carry on a conversation
with adults?
take care of their
personal items?
make a grocery list?
cook meals for
the family?
change a flat tire
on their car
open and maintain
a bank account?
fill out paperwork
at a doctor’s office?
call the appropriate people
for different emergencies?
keep consistent
Bible-reading and
prayer times?
—Kay Johnson
Consider opting out
As parents, we’re advocates for abstinence
when we talk to our teens about
sexuality. However, we take a very different
approach when it comes to the
topic of technology. It seems inevitable
that every child will get a smartphone
sooner or later, so we don’t even consider
opting out of giving them one.
My son Ethan never had a smartphone
in high school, yet he made
friends, was involved in leadership
positions and earned good grades. He
eventually got his first smartphone the
summer before going to college.
Contrary to popular opinion, our kids
can abstain from smartphones, gaming
and social media and still connect with
friends and family. Perhaps we give our
children too little credit. They are capable
of much more than we think.
I decided not to give my daughter,
Lucy, a smartphone for her 13th
birthday. She won’t be getting her
own phone until her senior year, or
later, and she’s actually OK with that.
She’s had a front-row seat watching
her phone-free older siblings opt out
of trouble and drama.
Your kids might say, “Mom, Dad,
don’t you trust me?” While they may
be trustworthy, the big-tech companies
that created smartphones
are not.
If you have doubts about giving your
child a smartphone, opt for delaying.
After all, taking away a smartphone
is much harder than not giving your
child one in the first place.
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and the
co-author of Screen Kids: 5 relational skills
every child needs in a tech-driven world.
22
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA
AUG / SEP 2023