Focus on the Family Magazine - August/September 2023

CELLPHONES / KIDS & TEENS
MY DAUGHTER, LUCY, was days
away from turning 13. Getting her a
children’s toy for her birthday was no
longer an option. Was it time to gift
wrap a shiny smartphone to go along
with a new outfit?
It’s the million-dollar question for
parents: What is the right age to get a
smartphone for your child?
Forty-two percent of 10-year-old
kids in the U.S. have a phone, according
to Common Sense Media. By age
12, it’s 71%, and by age 14, it’s 91%. But
just because “everybody” has a smartphone
doesn’t mean your child is
ready for one. Here are a few tips that
can help you wisely navigate this issue:
Have prerequisites
Can you imagine your parents handing
you something worth $800 to carry
around in elementary or middle school
and not lose? Before you give your
child a smartphone, he or she should
consistently exhibit a certain degree of
responsibility.
As a way to gauge whether your child
is mature enough for a smartphone,
consider how she handles everyday life
skills. Does she:
• pack school lunch every day?
• do laundry and help with household
chores?
• complete homework and strive
to earn good grades?
• get up when the alarm rings in
the morning?
• cook full meals?
• manage money well?
• have the confidence to carry
on a conversation with adults?
• accept full responsibility for
personal hygiene without
reminders?
• take care of pets?
If your child isn’t responsible with
tasks like these, it’s unreasonable to
think she will be responsible with a
phone. She might proclaim with passion,
“I promise I’ll do everything
you say if you get me a phone.” Let
her prove that by mastering these
basic life skills before graduating to a
smartphone.
Wait for the right time
Not only should your child be able to
handle the responsibility of a phone,
but it’s also important to wait for the
right timing. These questions can help
you determine whether your child is
truly ready for a phone or needs to
wait awhile:
• Does my child really need a smartphone
right now?
• What problem(s) will a smartphone
solve? What problem(s) will
it create?
• Is my child prone to overusing a
family member’s phone for gaming
or social media?
• Will the phone enhance or be detrimental
to my child’s spiritual
development or growth?
• Will the phone support our family
values or undermine them?
Th e d ecision to get your child a
smartphone should not be taken
lightly. You might say it’s a monumental
shift from B.C. (before cellphone)
to A.D. (after device). You’ve probably
heard horror stories of perfectly nice
kids turning sullen, withdrawn and
irritable after getting phones.
According to Common Sense
Media, 50% of teenagers admit they’re
addicted to their smartphones. No
doubt this has contributed to the
dramatic uptick in mental health problems
that we’re seeing among teens.
Eighty-four percent of them use social
media, but only 34% say they enjoy
it “a lot.” Just scroll through the social
media posts on a teen’s phone and
you’ll see that the content is anything
but godly.
According to the Barna Group, typical
15- to 23-year-olds take in 2,767
hours of screen media and only 153
hours of spiritual content (291 hours
for churchgoing kids). What effect will
owning a smartphone have on your
child’s worldview and soul?
Kids with ADHD are especially vulnerable
to getting sucked into a phone’s
stimulating content. They are also
more likely to be impulsive and post
things they shouldn’t. Elementaryage
children, in particular, are simply
not equipped to dive into the internet,
games and social media apps alone or
with their peers guiding them.
Maybe you’re thinking about giving
your child a smartphone for safety
reasons. If you want your child to be
able to reach you at any time and vice
versa, there are some great safe-phone
alternatives. Some of these phones
allow you to text, call and see your
child’s location with GPS without giving
your child access to the internet,
social media or games. Just as teens
get a learner’s permit before a driver’s
license, a safe phone can be a useful
on-ramp to a smartphone. >
LISTEN NOW!
Join Arlene Pellicane
and Dr. Gary Chapman
as they discuss how
technology affects kids.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
AUG / SEP 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA 21