Focus on the Family Magazine - August/September 2023
It can be a struggle to raise a family while balancing your work life, social life and relationships. Focus on the Family magazine is here to help! Each complimentary issue delivers fresh, practical Biblical guidance on family and life topics. Every issue comes packed with relevant advice to build up your kids, strengthen your marriage, navigate entertainment and culture, and handle common challenges you may face in your marriage and parenting journeys. Plus you'll find seasonal advice ranging from back-to-school activities to date night tips for you and your spouse.
It can be a struggle to raise a family while balancing your work life, social life and relationships. Focus on the Family magazine is here to help! Each complimentary issue delivers fresh, practical Biblical guidance on family and life topics.
Every issue comes packed with relevant advice to build up your kids, strengthen your marriage, navigate entertainment and culture, and handle common challenges you may face in your marriage and parenting journeys. Plus you'll find seasonal advice ranging from back-to-school activities to date night tips for you and your spouse.
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CELLPHONES / KIDS & TEENS<br />
MY DAUGHTER, LUCY, was days<br />
away from turning 13. Getting her a<br />
children’s toy for her birthday was no<br />
l<strong>on</strong>ger an opti<strong>on</strong>. Was it time to gift<br />
wrap a shiny smartph<strong>on</strong>e to go al<strong>on</strong>g<br />
with a new outfit?<br />
It’s <strong>the</strong> milli<strong>on</strong>-dollar questi<strong>on</strong> for<br />
parents: What is <strong>the</strong> right age to get a<br />
smartph<strong>on</strong>e for your child?<br />
Forty-two percent of 10-year-old<br />
kids in <strong>the</strong> U.S. have a ph<strong>on</strong>e, according<br />
to Comm<strong>on</strong> Sense Media. By age<br />
12, it’s 71%, and by age 14, it’s 91%. But<br />
just because “everybody” has a smartph<strong>on</strong>e<br />
doesn’t mean your child is<br />
ready for <strong>on</strong>e. Here are a few tips that<br />
can help you wisely navigate this issue:<br />
Have prerequisites<br />
Can you imagine your parents handing<br />
you something worth $800 to carry<br />
around in elementary or middle school<br />
and not lose? Before you give your<br />
child a smartph<strong>on</strong>e, he or she should<br />
c<strong>on</strong>sistently exhibit a certain degree of<br />
resp<strong>on</strong>sibility.<br />
As a way to gauge whe<strong>the</strong>r your child<br />
is mature enough for a smartph<strong>on</strong>e,<br />
c<strong>on</strong>sider how she handles everyday life<br />
skills. Does she:<br />
• pack school lunch every day?<br />
• do laundry and help with household<br />
chores?<br />
• complete homework and strive<br />
to earn good grades?<br />
• get up when <strong>the</strong> alarm rings in<br />
<strong>the</strong> morning?<br />
• cook full meals?<br />
• manage m<strong>on</strong>ey well?<br />
• have <strong>the</strong> c<strong>on</strong>fidence to carry<br />
<strong>on</strong> a c<strong>on</strong>versati<strong>on</strong> with adults?<br />
• accept full resp<strong>on</strong>sibility for<br />
pers<strong>on</strong>al hygiene without<br />
reminders?<br />
• take care of pets?<br />
If your child isn’t resp<strong>on</strong>sible with<br />
tasks like <strong>the</strong>se, it’s unreas<strong>on</strong>able to<br />
think she will be resp<strong>on</strong>sible with a<br />
ph<strong>on</strong>e. She might proclaim with passi<strong>on</strong>,<br />
“I promise I’ll do everything<br />
you say if you get me a ph<strong>on</strong>e.” Let<br />
her prove that by mastering <strong>the</strong>se<br />
basic life skills before graduating to a<br />
smartph<strong>on</strong>e.<br />
Wait for <strong>the</strong> right time<br />
Not <strong>on</strong>ly should your child be able to<br />
handle <strong>the</strong> resp<strong>on</strong>sibility of a ph<strong>on</strong>e,<br />
but it’s also important to wait for <strong>the</strong><br />
right timing. These questi<strong>on</strong>s can help<br />
you determine whe<strong>the</strong>r your child is<br />
truly ready for a ph<strong>on</strong>e or needs to<br />
wait awhile:<br />
• Does my child really need a smartph<strong>on</strong>e<br />
right now?<br />
• What problem(s) will a smartph<strong>on</strong>e<br />
solve? What problem(s) will<br />
it create?<br />
• Is my child pr<strong>on</strong>e to overusing a<br />
family member’s ph<strong>on</strong>e for gaming<br />
or social media?<br />
• Will <strong>the</strong> ph<strong>on</strong>e enhance or be detrimental<br />
to my child’s spiritual<br />
development or growth?<br />
• Will <strong>the</strong> ph<strong>on</strong>e support our family<br />
values or undermine <strong>the</strong>m?<br />
Th e d ecisi<strong>on</strong> to get your child a<br />
smartph<strong>on</strong>e should not be taken<br />
lightly. You might say it’s a m<strong>on</strong>umental<br />
shift from B.C. (before cellph<strong>on</strong>e)<br />
to A.D. (after device). You’ve probably<br />
heard horror stories of perfectly nice<br />
kids turning sullen, withdrawn and<br />
irritable after getting ph<strong>on</strong>es.<br />
According to Comm<strong>on</strong> Sense<br />
Media, 50% of teenagers admit <strong>the</strong>y’re<br />
addicted to <strong>the</strong>ir smartph<strong>on</strong>es. No<br />
doubt this has c<strong>on</strong>tributed to <strong>the</strong><br />
dramatic uptick in mental health problems<br />
that we’re seeing am<strong>on</strong>g teens.<br />
Eighty-four percent of <strong>the</strong>m use social<br />
media, but <strong>on</strong>ly 34% say <strong>the</strong>y enjoy<br />
it “a lot.” Just scroll through <strong>the</strong> social<br />
media posts <strong>on</strong> a teen’s ph<strong>on</strong>e and<br />
you’ll see that <strong>the</strong> c<strong>on</strong>tent is anything<br />
but godly.<br />
According to <strong>the</strong> Barna Group, typical<br />
15- to 23-year-olds take in 2,767<br />
hours of screen media and <strong>on</strong>ly 153<br />
hours of spiritual c<strong>on</strong>tent (291 hours<br />
for churchgoing kids). What effect will<br />
owning a smartph<strong>on</strong>e have <strong>on</strong> your<br />
child’s worldview and soul?<br />
Kids with ADHD are especially vulnerable<br />
to getting sucked into a ph<strong>on</strong>e’s<br />
stimulating c<strong>on</strong>tent. They are also<br />
more likely to be impulsive and post<br />
things <strong>the</strong>y shouldn’t. Elementaryage<br />
children, in particular, are simply<br />
not equipped to dive into <strong>the</strong> internet,<br />
games and social media apps al<strong>on</strong>e or<br />
with <strong>the</strong>ir peers guiding <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
Maybe you’re thinking about giving<br />
your child a smartph<strong>on</strong>e for safety<br />
reas<strong>on</strong>s. If you want your child to be<br />
able to reach you at any time and vice<br />
versa, <strong>the</strong>re are some great safe-ph<strong>on</strong>e<br />
alternatives. Some of <strong>the</strong>se ph<strong>on</strong>es<br />
allow you to text, call and see your<br />
child’s locati<strong>on</strong> with GPS without giving<br />
your child access to <strong>the</strong> internet,<br />
social media or games. Just as teens<br />
get a learner’s permit before a driver’s<br />
license, a safe ph<strong>on</strong>e can be a useful<br />
<strong>on</strong>-ramp to a smartph<strong>on</strong>e. ><br />
LISTEN NOW!<br />
Join Arlene Pellicane<br />
and Dr. Gary Chapman<br />
as <strong>the</strong>y discuss how<br />
technology affects kids.<br />
<str<strong>on</strong>g>Focus</str<strong>on</strong>g>OnThe<strong>Family</strong>.ca/Radio<br />
AUG / SEP <strong>2023</strong> FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA 21