the-song-books.yossr

Chapter Twelve
I WOKE TO THE RED OF MY EYELIDS STRAINING OUT THE SUN. I was cold, myy
right shoulder exposed to the breezes of the window, the one that faced the
sea. The space beside me on the bed was emptyy, but the pillow still held the
shape of him, and the sheets smelled of us both.
I had spent so manyy mornings alone in this room, as he visited his
mother, I did not think it was strange to find him gone. Myy eyyes closed, and
I sank again into the trailing thoughts of dreams. Time passed, and the sun
came hot over the windowsill. The birds were up, and the servants, and
even the men. I heard their voices from the beach and the practice hall, the
rattle and bang of chores. I sat up. His sandals were overturned beside the
bed, forgotten. It was not unusual; he went barefoot most places.
He had gone to breakfast, I guessed. He was letting me sleep. Half of me
wanted to stayy in the room until his return, but that was cowardice. I had a
right to a place byy his side now, and I would not let the eyyes of the servants
drive me awayy. I pulled on myy tunic and left to find him.
HE WAS NOT IN the great hall, busyy with servants removing the same platters
and bowls there had alwayys been. He was not in Peleus’ council chamber,
hung with purple tapestryy and the weapons of former Phthian kings. And he
was not in the room where we used to playy the lyyre. The trunk that had once
kept our instruments sat forlorn in the room’s center.
He was not outside, either, in the trees he and I had climbed. Or byy the
sea, on the jutting rocks where he waited for his mother. Nor on the practice
field where men sweated through drills, clacking their wooden swords.
I do not need to sayy that myy panic swelled, that it became a live thing,
slipperyy and deaf to reason. Myy steps grew hurried; the kitchen, the
basement, the storerooms with their amphorae of oil and wine. And still I
did not find him.
It was middayy when I sought out Peleus’ room. It was a sign of the size
of myy unease that I went at all: I had never spoken to the old man alone
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