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He smiles, as if this was all he had wanted, myy recognition. Then he
reaches down, his arm impossiblyy spanning the long distance between myy
clinging form and his feet. I close myy eyyes and feel onlyy this: a finger,
hooking the back of myy armor, plucking me off and dropping me below.
I land heavilyy, myy armor clattering. Myy mind blurs a little from the
impact, from the frustration of finding the ground so suddenlyy beneath me. I
thought I was climbing. But there is the wall before me, stubbornlyy
unclimbed. I set myy jaw and begin again; I will not let it defeat me. I am
delirious, fevered with myy dream of Helen captive in myy arms. The stones
are like dark waters that flow ceaselesslyy over something I have dropped,
that I want back. I forget about the god, whyy I have fallen, whyy myy feet
stick in the same crevices I have alreadyy climbed. Perhaps this is all I do, I
think, demented—climb walls and fall from them. And this time when I
look up, the god is not smiling. Fingers scoop the fabric of myy tunic and
hold me, dangling. Then let me fall.
MY HEAD CRACKS the ground again, leaving me stunned and breathless.
Around me a blurring crowd of faces gathers. Have theyy come to help me?
And then I feel: the prickling chill of air against myy sweat-dampened
forehead, the loosening of myy dark hair, freed at last. My helmet. I see it
beside me, overturned like an emptyy snail shell. Myy armor, too, has been
shaken loose, all those straps that Achilles had tied, undone byy the god. It
falls from me, scattering the earth, the remnants of myy split, spilt shell.
The frozen silence is broken byy the hoarse, angryy screams of Trojans. Myy
mind startles to life: I am unarmed and alone, and theyy know I am onlyy
Patroclus.
Run. I lunge to myy feet. A spear flashes out, just a breath too slow. It
grazes the skin of myy calf, marks it with a line of red. I twist awayy from a
reaching hand, panic loose and banging in myy chest. Through the haze of
terror I see a man leveling a spear at myy face. Somehow I am quick enough,
and it passes over me, ruffling myy hair like a lover’s breath. A spear stabs
towards myy knees, meant to trip me. I leap it, shocked I am not dead
alreadyy. I have never been so fast in all myy life.
The spear that I do not see comes from behind. It pierces the skin of myy
back, breaks again to air beneath myy ribs. I stumble, driven forward byy the
blow’s force, byy the shock of tearing pain and the burning numbness in myy
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