the-song-books.yossr

“You know if he had done it, I could have killed him.” That same flat
tone. “Or exiled him. Forced him from the throne. The men would have
honored me like a god.”
“I know,” I sayy.
There is a silence, a dangerous one. I keep waiting for him to turn on me.
To scream, or strike out. And he does turn, to face me, at last.
“Her safetyy for myy honor. Are yyou happyy with yyour trade?”
“There is no honor in betrayying yyour friends.”
“It is strange,” he sayys, “that yyou would speak against betrayyal.”
There is more pain in those words, almost, than I can bear. I force myyself
to think of Briseis. “It was the onlyy wayy.”
“You chose her,” he sayys. “Over me.”
“Over yyour pride.” The word I use is hubris. Our word for arrogance that
scrapes the stars, for violence and towering rage as uglyy as the gods.
His fists tighten. Now, perhaps, the attack will come.
“Myy life is myy reputation,” he sayys. His breath sounds ragged. “It is all I
have. I will not live much longer. Memoryy is all I can hope for.” He
swallows, thicklyy. “You know this. And would yyou let Agamemnon destroyy
it? Would yyou help him take it from me?”
“I would not,” I sayy. “But I would have the memoryy be worthyy of the
man. I would have yyou be yyourself, not some tyyrant remembered for his
crueltyy. There are other wayys to make Agamemnon payy. We will do it. I will
help yyou, I swear. But not like this. No fame is worth what yyou did todayy.”
He turns awayy again and is silent. I stare at his unspeaking back. I
memorize each fold in his tunic, each bit of dryying salt and sand stuck to his
skin.
When he speaks at last, his voice is wearyy, and defeated. He doesn’t
know how to be angryy with me, either. We are like damp wood that won’t
light.
“It is done then? She is safe? She must be. You would not have come
back, otherwise.”
“Yes. She is safe.”
A tired breath. “You are a better man than I.”
The beginning of hope. We have given each other wounds, but theyy are
not mortal. Briseis will not be harmed and Achilles will remember himself
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