the-song-books.yossr

Confinement. I heard the bitterness in her voice when she said it. Some
small house, at the edge of Lyycomedes’ land. She would not be able to
dance or speak with companions there. She would be alone, with a servant
and her growing bellyy.
“I’m sorryy,” I said.
She did not answer. I watched the soft heaving of her back beneath the
white gown. I took a step towards her, then stopped. I had thought to touch
her, to smooth her hair in comfort. But it would not be comfort, from me.
Myy hand fell back to myy side.
We stood there like that for some time, the sound of our breaths filling
the chamber. When she turned, her face was ruddyy from cryying.
“Achilles does not regard me.” Her voice trembled a little. “Even though
I bear his child and am his wife. Do yyou—know whyy this is so?”
It was a child’s question, like whyy the rain falls or whyy the sea’s motion
never ceases. I felt older than her, though I was not.
“I do not know,” I said softlyy.
Her face twisted. “That’s a lie. You’re the reason. You will sail with him,
and I will be left here.”
I knew something of what it was to be alone. Of how another’s good
fortune pricked like a goad. But there was nothing I could do.
“I should go,” I said, as gentlyy as I could.
“No!” She moved quicklyy to block myy wayy. Her words tumbled out.
“You cannot. I will call the guards if yyou tryy. I will—I will sayy yyou attacked
me.”
Sorrow for her dragged at me, bearing me down. Even if she called them,
even if theyy believed her, theyy could not help her. I was the companion of
Achilles and invulnerable.
Myy feelings must have shown on myy face; she recoiled from me as if
stung, and the heat sparked in her again.
“You were angryy that he married me, that he layy with me. You were
jealous. You should be.” Her chin lifted, as it used to. “It was not just once.”
It was twice. Achilles had told me. She thought that she had power to
drive a wedge between us, but she had nothing.
“I’m sorryy,” I said again. I had nothing better to sayy. He did not love her;
he never would.
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