UNTraditional Pitch Package
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UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 1
PAGE ONE [4 panels] - We’re just introducing the guys and their apartment here.
Layout is split vertically with Drew’s panels on the left and Zaac’s panels on the right.
Second two panels should be much larger to allow us to see the guys completely.
1.1 - INT. Drew’s Bedroom–Evening
This is a view of the left side of Drew’s room, and it should line up with the next panel as
if the room were split in half, and the next panel shows the right side of the room,
though it is going to show Zaac’s room. Imagine a punk teenager grew up, and only
barely left that black vibe behind. Feel free to fill the space a little. He has a record
player (Rega Planar One) and some vinyl in the corner. Have some fun with it though.
But there does have to be half of a Poster for the Album Duality by the band Set It Off
[R1] on the right side of the panel which will line up with a poster in the next panel.
DREW
HEY Z. WHAT TIME IS IT?
1.2 - INT. Zaac’s Bedroom–Evening
This is a view of the right half of Zaac’s room, which should line up with the view of
Drew’s room on the left. In the middle, there is a half of the poster for the movie Scott
Pilgrim vs. The World [R2], which lines up with the poster in Drew’s room. Zaac is a
little more of a dork, but isn’t a nerd or a full on dork. He should have a collection of
Bionicles [R3] on a shelf somewhere—very important. Other than that go crazy.
ZAAC
DREW
I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU MAKE US LATE AGAIN…
IT’S FINE. I’M ALMOST READY.
ZAAC IT’S 6:30.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 2
PAGE ONE CONT.
1.3 - INT. Drew’s Bedroom–Evening
Side-on view of Drew as he looks into the mirror, but the mirror is the right gutter of the
panel, as if he is looking at Zaac through the gutter. Drew is medium build, with messy
middle length hair. He def needs a haircut, and possibly a shower. He is wearing black
jeans, and he’s pulling on a black sweatshirt. Some of his tattoos are peaking out as he
gets dressed, and they seem to be glowing. He has Biomechanical Tattoos on his arms
[R4].
DREW (Quietly)
CAP (As if listing his
stats)
FUCK…
Name: Drew Morrigan
Age: 25
Nationality: American (Cleveland OH, USA)
Bench: 160 lbs
Milk: 2%
1.4 - INT. Zaac’s Bedroom–Evening
Side-on view of Zaac, exactly the same as the last panel but the opposite way, so they are
making eye contact. He's a muscular build, and just a few inches taller than Drew. He
has short hair that's spiked up in the front. No facial hair. Zaac has Tā Moko [R5] on his
face which we can see from the side. We will need to consult with Daniel on style and
pattern. He’s wearing Jeans and an orange T-shirt and a necklace of a bronze Wolf Claw
[R6]. He’s Running his fingers through his hair in a frustrated way.
ZAAC
UH HUH. AND THAT HOT BASSIST YOU LIKE IS IN THE
OPENING BAND AND WE’LL MISS THEM IF YOU DON’T
HURRY.
CAP (As if listing his
stats)
Name: Isaac (Zaac) Vernon
Age: 25
Nationality: Kiwi (Hamilton, Waikato, NZ)
Bionicles Lore: A+
Beans: Refried
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 3
PAGE TWO [5 panels]
2.1 - EXT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Establishing Shot of the Hawthorne Theater in Portland [R7]. You can fill the Outdoor
concert board [R8] with whatever punk bands you like, but the last one should be ALL
TIME LOW. There’s a bouncer standing by the door, and there are a couple of punk
looking concert goers outside smoking. Maybe someone puking in the corner. It’s a punk
show at a very punk venue. The boys are already inside but we should see Drew’s scream
as an Onomatopoeia floating through the open door.
ZAAC
(From the door)
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
CAP
HAWTHORNE THEATER
PORTLAND OR
2.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Medium shot of Drew and Zaac standing next to each other by the back of the crowd.
We’re seeing their faces as they look up at the stage. Drew looks devastated, and Zaac
has an “I told you so” look.
DREW
WE MISSED THEM!
ZAAC
DREW
ZAAC
YUP.
WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT EARLIER…
YUP.
2.3 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
View of the stage as the opening band packs up. We can see a couple of heads in the
foreground as the guys look over the crowd. The panel is focussing on the bassist who is
handing his guitar to a stage hand. The Bassist is thin with mid length black hair and
black eyeliner. He’s wearing a short sleeve button up and black jeans.
ZAAC
(From off panel)
MAYBE HE’LL COME DOWN TO WATCH THE NEXT SET.
DREW
(From off panel)
MAYBE...
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 4
PAGE TWO CONT.
2.4 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Another shot of the stage now that the main act has taken the stage. The band is ALL
TIME LOW [R9], and their beginning their set. Music noises and such.
2.5 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Zaac is starting to pull Drew closer to the stage by the hand. There’s quite a few people
in their way.
ZAAC
COME ON LOVERBOY. THERE MIGHT BE A MOSH.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 5
PAGE THREE [5 panels]
3.1 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Aerial view of the crowd as the boys push their way closer to the front of the crowd.
Don’t focus on it, but there should be 2 cultists in cloaks staked out by the emergency
exit. Drew is bumping into people as he’s dragged by Zaac.
DREW
SORRY.
3.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
From behind we see the boys push past a shirtless man (SUBJECT) who has a tattoo of a
gorilla on his arm.
DREW
OOPS. SORRY MAN.
3.3 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Full body shot of subject as he stares blankly at Drew. He should be almost blank eyed,
like he's looking at nothing. Nothing is going on behind the eyes vibe. His tattoo now
seems to be glowing a little in the same way that Drew’s did at home.
DREW
UUUUUHHHH…
3.4 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Drew is still looking back at the man, but Zaac is pulling him into a mosh pit between a
few people. Drew looks confused and a little concerned.
DREW
ZAAC?
ZAAC
YEA MAN?
3.5 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
The boys are now standing on the edge of a mosh, there are people dressed in black
band t-shirts and other punk show clothing flailing and running behind them. Zaac is
looking excitedly at the pit, but Drew is still looking back to where the man just
disappeared into the crowd. There should be a smaller inset panel that shows Zaac with
a “You’ve gotta be kidding me” look on his face, and his face half lit by red light.
DREW
I THINK I SAW A CHOSEN…
ZAAC
(From inset panel)
SHIT. NOT THE KIND OF MOSH I WANTED.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 6
PAGE FOUR [3 panels]
4.1 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Page Width panel. Shot of the man (SUBJECT) from before as red light pulses from his
eyes, mouth, and from the ink of his tattoo. He’s in a lot of pain. His scream should
continue down between panels as an onomatopoeia.
SUBJECT
RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA
4.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Similar panel to the last, but the subject’s muscles are bloating grotesquely as he morphs
into a giant gorilla. Think of this as a gross mid shot of an animorph[R10].
SUBJECT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
4.3 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Same style of panel, but this one is taller than the last 2. This is a show of the man in full
gorilla mode. Red energy should be crackling off of the arm that had his tattoo. The eyes
should still be glowing red. Make this one look threatening.
SUBJECT
AAAARRRRRGGGGG
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 7
PAGE FIVE [X panels]
5.1 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
People are scattering and running for the exits, but the Gorilla Subject is smashing
things, and throwing people around.
SPECTATOR
AAAAHHHHH
5.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Medium shot of the boys watching the chaos. They are concerned, but not as much as
you’d expect if a giant gorilla appeared in front of you. Drew is reaching down to pull his
sweatshirt off.
ZAAC
BRO, EVERY TIME WE GO OUT!?
DREW
I KNOW RIGHT? LOOKS LIKE THEY CAN’T GET THE
FORMULA RIGHT. THEIR TEST SUBJECTS KEEP
MORPHING.
5.3 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Same shot as the last panel, but now Drew has his sweatshirt off, and his right arm is
glowing blue around his tattoos. They’re Biomechanical tattoos [R4].
ZAAC
DON’T GO TOO HARD. MUM’LL BE PISSED IF YOU CARK
IT.
DREW
I KNOW, I KNOW.
5.4 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Wide panel showing Drew’s arm extended out to his right, it is now fully metal with
gears and pistons, as if his tattoos came to life and took over his arm. He looks ready to
throw down. Zaac is standing behind him looking unphased.
DREW
I DON’T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY KILL HIM EITHER.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 8
PAGE SIX & SEVEN [1 panels]
Literally, go nuts here. Just an awesome double page spread of Drew with his robot-ish
arm fighting a giant crazed gorilla. Maybe like one big panel of Drew punching the
Subject with smaller inset panels of them grappling. Or maybe you want to set it up like
it’s a shattered mirror and each pane of broken glass is a different view of them fighting.
Do whatever, just don’t let it be boring.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 9
PAGE EIGHT [5 panels]
8.1 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Shot of Zaac just watching what's going on. He’s not doing all that much, maybe
checking his phone. Unfortunately this is a normal night out for him.
ZAAC
(Half Heartedly)
WHOO. GO DREW. YOU GOT THAT… GORILLA… GUY…
8.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Shot of the two cloaked cultists from earlier (3.1) sneaking out of the emergency exit.
Neither of their faces are visible, but one has a clipboard in their hand. One is holding
the door open for the other.
ZAAC
HANG ON…
8.3 - EXT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Outside the emergency exit as Zaac follows the cultists. He’s trying to sneak but not that
well.
8.4 - EXT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Medium shot of the Cultists talking outside of a white van. Zaac is in the background
listening but out of sight.
CULTIST 1
WRITE DOWN THAT SUBJECT 327 WAS A FAILURE. I
THINK IT WAS AN ISSUE WITH BLOWOUT AGAIN.
CULTIST 2
CULTIST 1
YUP, YUP. GOT THAT ALL DOWN. SHOULD I WRITE
ANYTHING DOWN ABOUT ISABELLE’S KID?
NAH. WE CAN JUST MENTION HIM WHEN WE GIVE
OUR REPORT.
8.5 - EXT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Shot from behind the van. Zaac is now crouching behind the van as a cultist gets in the
passenger side.
CULTIST 2
HE’S GONNA HAVE HIS HANDS FULL FOR A MINUTE
THERE. WAS THIS ONE A FULL INK OR A TEMPORARY?
I FORGOT TO CHECK THE BOX.
CULTIST 1
(from the van)
ZAAC
(to himself)
TEMPORARY. GLAD THE SPRINKLERS DIDN’T GO OFF.
THE SPRINKLERS…
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 10
PAGE NINE [6 panels]
9.1 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Drew is still battling the gorilla, but he seems to be getting tired. His arm looks like it's
becoming too heavy for him. There’s no patrons in the theater anymore.
DREW
(as onomatopoeia)
PANT PANT
GORILLA
RRRAAAAAAA
9.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Zaac is bursting back in through the emergency exit behind Drew who still looks beat
and is facing the gorilla.
ZAAC
BRO! IT’S TEMPORARY!
DREW
ZAAC
DREW
WHAT’S TEMPORARY?
THE TATTOO!
OK AND?!
9.3 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Same angle, Drew is dodging a large speaker that the gorilla has evidently thrown. Zaac
is still behind him, but now looks exasperated with Drew. He’s pointing to the ceiling
indicating the fire sprinklers.
ZAAC
GOD YOU’RE SUCH AN EGG… BREAK THE SPRINKLERS!
WATER MAKE TEMPORARY TATTOO GO BYE-BYE.
DREW
AH!
9.4 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
A full body shot of the gorilla picking up a big stack speaker to throw. He’s a little bloody
but all and all still as angry and powerful as he was at the start.
9.5 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Shot from behind the speaker which is now midair and flying towards Drew. He’s ready
for it this time and is reaching out with his big robot arm to catch it.
DREW
HOW ABOUT I JUST--
DREW
(as onomatopoeia)
HUP
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 11
PAGE NINE CONT.
9.6 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Same angle but Drew has now caught the speaker and is hurling it upwards towards the
ceiling
DREW
--BORROW THIS FOR A SECOND.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 12
PAGE TEN [3 panels]
This page should be one full bleed panel with two smaller inset panels
10.1 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
This should show a close up of the speaker hitting and breaking the ceiling sprinkler,
which is now showering water down.
SFX
TINK
10.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
This is the main bleed panel. It shows the gorilla roaring as it gets covered in water. We
can see the red glow where the subject had its tattoo getting covered in water. It should
show him morphing back into a man in a reverse Animorphs kinda thing[R10].
SUBJECT
ROOOOAAAAARRRR
10.3 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Another small inset panel that shows a close up of the guys tattoo dissolving off of his
body.
ZAAC
SWEET AS!
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 13
PAGE ELEVEN [5 panels]
11.1 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Zaac is now kneeling over the subject and is checking his pulse to make sure he’s ok.
Drew is standing behind him, and his arm is changing back to a regular arm. The ink
that makes up his tattoo is now extremely faded.
DREW
IS HE GOOD?
ZAAC
DREW
HE’S BREATHING. DON’T THINK MORPHING INTO A
GORILLA THEN GETTING BEAT UP LEAVES YOU
FEELING TOO ‘GOOD’.
FAIR.
11.2 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Medium shot of Drew and Zaac now standing. Zaac is examining Drew’s tattoo which is
now fading away fully and Drew is kinda looking off at the mess. The police are coming
from off screen but there will be the sound of a siren coming in as an onomatopoeia. The
word itself should be red and blue as if it were a police siren.
ZAAC
THE INK LASTED PRETTY LONG THIS TIME. I’M GLAD
DAD IS SUCH A GOOD CHEMIST.
DREW
ZAAC
SFX
YEA, THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE THE CHOSEN’S
CHEMISTS ARE GETTING CLOSER. MAYBE WE SHOULD
HAVE DESTROYED THE LAB BEFORE WE LEFT THE
CULT.
MAYBE WE SHOULD HA–
WOOOOOOOOOWWWWOOOOOOOO
11.3 - INT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Full body shot of the boys as they turn to run for the emergency exit. Drew has a head
start and is about to pull the door open. Zaac is looking back over his shoulder in the
direction of the siren.
SFX
ZAAC
DREW
OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWOOOOOO
SHIT. IT’S THE CHEESE.
I SWEAR. NEW ZEALAND HAS SOME WEIRD ASS SLANG.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 14
PAGE ELEVEN CONT.
11.4 - EXT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Establishing shot of the same area behind the theater from earlier. The boys are running
through the emergency exit door. Drew is in front and is fumbling in his pocket for his
keys.
DREW
I’LL DRIVE.
11.5 - EXT. Hawthorne Theater–Night
Over the shoulder shot of the guys running towards a car parked across the street. It’s a
yellow 2002 Ford Mustang [R11] that's a little faded and beat up.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 15
PAGE TWELVE [X panels]
12.1 - EXT. Portland streets–Night
Top down view of the streets around the Theater. We can see the Police cars at the front
of the theater, and the yellow mustang driving away from the theater from the back in
such a way that they can’t be seen.
DREW
UGH. I’LL NEED TO GET GAS SOON.
ZAAC
HOW ABOUT WE FOCUS ON NOT GETTING ARRESTED?
12.2 - EXT. Portland streets–Night
View through the passenger window. Drew is driving and Zaac is turned slightly to talk
to him, but we can still see him in profile.
ZAAC
YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT THOUGH.
DREW
ABOUT?
ZAAC
THAT ACAT’S CHOSEN ARE CLOSE TO FIGURING OUT
HOW TO MAKE DAD’S TATTOO INK.
12.3 - EXT. Portland streets–Night
Wider shot of the passenger side of the car driving down the street.
ZAAC
I THINK WE NEED TO TAKE A MORE ACTIVE ROLE IN
ALL OF THIS.
DREW
*SIGH* YEA I KNOW. I THOUGHT YOUR DAD LEAVING
WOULD MEAN THEY COULDN’T USE ACAT’S NECTAR,
BUT NOW THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.
12.4 - EXT. Portland streets–Night
Shot from behind the car as it drives away.
DREW
FIRST THINGS FIRST THOUGH. I’M GOING TO NEED A
NEW TATTOO.
ZAAC
HELL YEA! I HAD A NEW IDEA FOR A HONEYCOMB
SLEEVE!
To be continued.
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 16
Picture reference:
[R1]
[R2]
[R3]
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 17
[R4]
[R5]
[R6]
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 18
[R7]
[R8]
[R9] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP0Q8tbKM8s
UNTraditional #1 — Foster R. Kupbens — v2 19
[R10]
[R11]