SandScript 2023 [Digital Exclusive]

The Shifting Tide: Weathering Change
Ethan Bauschka
When you think of a normal life, what do you imagine? The dictionary defines normalcy
as a state of being usual, expected, or typical. Maybe to some, it is the consistency in the
movements, and the security of all we’ve come to know and expect.
Besides the rise and fall of the setting sun, there is nothing so certain. Life is crazy. The world
changes beyond our control, and we find ourselves off our desired path. To me, this has
always been a struggle; a back-and forth-I have wrestled with.
I’ve been thinking of that subject lately, especially after all that has happened in recent years–
the unrest, political conflicts, diseases, and chaos. These things, common in almost every
generation, crashed upon me like thundering waves. As one who has always wanted that
thing, a way to find inner peace, it was hard to weather the storm when the world I had once
been so familiar with had changed.
I’m a young guy, in his early twenties. For most of my life, I tried to find a steady path. However,
as someone who has dealt with a mood disorder since I was young, I’ve always been
uncomfortably aware of my shaky inner balance. My control of myself and the things I can
change gave me a sense of power in small doses. It was relaxing to have consistency.
Yet, for all it was worth, I had my ups and downs before the pandemic. I had a hard time
being myself because I did not know who that was. With all that focus on self-control and
maintaining some semblance of inner peace, I still had no idea what I liked or wanted in life.
Then came the storm that changed my life. I should have done better during that time,
especially as someone so aware of themself. But hindsight is twenty-twenty, and we all grow in
our own time.
I certainly did during these three long years.
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I remember the way this strange new disease spread across the globe like wildfire. It was scary,
but when you just can’t see those effects straight on, it is easy to see past all that is happening
around you. We were locked down momentarily, and I went to my fast food job at Little
Caesar’s as a mandatory worker. I watched the clock move as no one came to my store. Few
cars passed, and fewer people came. Those early days were painfully slow.
At first, I was not sure how to respond. My family has a history of being immunocompromised,
so I made sure to be absolutely safe. I took precautions and never felt at ease. When I was
alone with my family, I thought I could take the time to work on things I have been putting off.
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