Tryst Six Venom by Penelope Douglas

ceiling, and I lie in bed, phone in hand, and contemplate dragging Trace’s ass
out of bed to pick me up.
Tears hang at the corners of my eyes. It shouldn’t hurt. I’m used to being
seen differently, aren’t I? I close my eyes, my chin trembling.
The girls fell asleep easily, but I haven’t slept all night. I’m ready to go
home. I draw in a breath, my chest shaking, struggling to stay quiet.
But then, the bed dips behind me, the sheet moves, and a body presses
into my back, arms slipping around my waist.
Clay’s scent surrounds me, and I open my eyes, seeing she’s no longer in
the other bed with Krisjen and Amy. She holds me tightly.
“Just let me go,” I barely whisper.
“I can’t.”
Her breath caresses my ear, and I have no energy to fight her. The tears
fall, and I just lie there, letting her mold her body to mine, holding me tighter
as she buries her nose in my hair.
“Do you think I want it to be this hard?” I murmur in the quiet so Krisjen
and Amy don’t hear. “It’s not a choice, you know?”
She’s silent, and I stare over at the other two sleeping.
“Sometimes I tried not to feel it,” I say. “Tried to force myself to get
excited around a boy and to ignore the way my heart beat faster around…”
But I trail off, knowing she gets the idea.
I don’t know why I’m telling her this. It’s not that I need her to
understand, because there are so many others in the world who will.
But for some reason, I can’t stop talking. “But it wasn’t who I was,” I tell
her. “I saw women everywhere. They were all I saw. I didn’t notice men the
same way. How they walked or laughed or danced. I could never picture
myself in a guy’s arms.” I turn over in her arms and look at her in the dark.
“All I dreamed about was someone wanting me. I wanted to look over in
class and see a girl looking at me the way I looked at her. Having someone
touch my fingers and hold my hand or pass me notes in class. I wanted
someone to have a crush on me—someone with a soft body and soft hair.
Everyone else got to have that. All the fucking movies and love songs,
and…” I choke on a sob, forcing it back down. “It just got so lonely, and after
a while, I just got angry.”
There were other gays at Marymount. The odds were in my favor that I
wasn’t alone, but no one would out themselves in such a small town.
Except me. I was already an outsider, because of where I come from, so