Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2023

HOME FOR THE SUMMER / KIDS & TEENS
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Adult Kids
“
The end [of your parenting] is when [your teens]
finish high school.
That’s when they need to be ready. Even if
they stay at your house, they need to be ready.
—Dr. Kenneth Wilgus
source: From the broadcast “Parenting Teens Toward Adulthood.”
Find it at <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio.
”
a bell to come and go
When our college-age kids came home for
the summer, they resented having to tell us
every time they went out and came back
home. A simple counter bell on a table by
our front door solved the problem.
When they left, they’d hit the bell to signify
their leaving. When they returned home,
they’d ring it again. If they brought friends
home, they also needed to ring for the number
of friends entering the door, which
helped me know how many people were in
our house.
—Lori Zenker
MARTIN BERGSMA-ADOBE STOCK
expectation
adjustment
When my eldest left for school and
came back home the first summer, we
were excited to have her back. But we
quickly realized that some expectations
needed to be discussed to ensure that
everyone could enjoy the summer.
So we gathered for a family meeting.
My husband and I explained what
would work best for us in relation to
car rules and house guests. My daughter
talked about her expections, and we
made some adjustments. That summer,
we learned what worked and what
needed improvement. Overall, this
experience let everyone feel included,
heard and respected.
—Laurie Moser
privacy
protection
Adult kids home for the summer after experiencing
on-campus living still have their own rooms at
our house. Those who have moved on and have
their own residences are provided with a guest
room when they visit. This ensures privacy and
separation for everyone. We’ve set up a second
living room in the basement where my adult kids
can entertain without feeling they have to either
include or navigate around Mom and Dad.
My husband and I remain available but try
not to be offended when our kids want to hang
out with other people or want to be alone.
Sometimes managing expectations and maintaining
mutual respect for one another is tricky,
but we make it work.
—Kelly L. Ward
JUNE / JULY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA
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