quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking-susan-cain
“Jim always assessed these situationscarefully to ensure that she would notultimately be frightened, but rather beable to experience pleasure and success.Sometimes he held her back until shewas overly ready. Above all, he kept itan internal conflict, not a conflictbetween him and her.… And if she oranyone else comments on her quietnessor hesitancy, Jim’s prompt reply is,‘That’s just your style. Other peoplehave different styles. But this is yours.You like to take your time and be sure.’Jim also knows that part of her style isbefriending anyone whom others tease,doing careful work, noticing everythinggoing on in the family, and being thebest soccer strategist in her league.”One of the best things you can do foran introverted child is to work withhim on his reaction to novelty. Rememberthat introverts react not only to702/929
new people, but also to new places andevents. So don’t mistake your child’scaution in new situations for an inabilityto relate to others. He’s recoilingfrom novelty or overstimulation, not fromhuman contact. As we saw in the lastchapter, introversion-extroversionlevels are not correlated with eitheragreeableness or the enjoyment of intimacy.Introverts are just as likely asthe next kid to seek others’ company,though often in smaller doses.The key is to expose your childgradually to new situations andpeople—taking care to respect his limits,even when they seem extreme. Thisproduces more-confident kids thaneither overprotection or pushing toohard. Let him know that his feelings arenormal and natural, but also thatthere’s nothing to be afraid of: “I knowit can feel funny to play with someone703/929
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“Jim always assessed these situations
carefully to ensure that she would not
ultimately be frightened, but rather be
able to experience pleasure and success.
Sometimes he held her back until she
was overly ready. Above all, he kept it
an internal conflict, not a conflict
between him and her.… And if she or
anyone else comments on her quietness
or hesitancy, Jim’s prompt reply is,
‘That’s just your style. Other people
have different styles. But this is yours.
You like to take your time and be sure.’
Jim also knows that part of her style is
befriending anyone whom others tease,
doing careful work, noticing everything
going on in the family, and being the
best soccer strategist in her league.”
One of the best things you can do for
an introverted child is to work with
him on his reaction to novelty. Remember
that introverts react not only to
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