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understand why her sweet, loving

daughter wanted to spend so much

time alone. She worried that something

was wrong with Isabel. Despite what

she’d always thought about her daughter’s

empathetic nature, might Isabel

lack the ability to relate with others?

It was only when I suggested that

Joyce’s daughter might be an introvert,

and explained what that was, that

Joyce started thinking differently about

Isabel’s experiences at school. And from

Isabel’s perspective, things didn’t sound

alarming at all. “I need a break after

school,” she told me later. “School is

hard because a lot of people are in the

room, so you get tired. I freak out if my

mom plans a play date without telling

me, because I don’t want to hurt my

friends’ feelings. But I’d rather stay

home. At a friend’s house you have to

do the things other people want to do. I

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