quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking-susan-cain

and flattens her affect during fights
with Greg, she thinks she’s being respectful
by taking the trouble not to let
her negative emotions show. But Greg
thinks she’s checking out or, worse,
that she doesn’t give a damn. Similarly,
when Greg lets his anger fly, he assumes
that Emily feels, as he does, that
this is a healthy and honest expression
of their deeply committed relationship.
But to Emily, it’s as if Greg has suddenly
turned on her.
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In her book Anger: The Misunderstood
Emotion, Carol Tavris recounts a story
about a Bengali cobra that liked to bite
passing villagers. One day a swami—a
man who has achieved self-mastery—convinces
the snake that biting is