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“do all the work of making conversation.

For them, it’s not work at all.”

The trouble is that for most of the

five years they’ve been together, Greg

and Emily have been having one version

or another of the same fight. Greg,

a music promoter with a large circle of

friends, wants to host dinner parties

every Friday—casual, animated get-togethers

with heaping bowls of pasta

and flowing bottles of wine. He’s been

giving Friday-night dinners since he

was a senior in college, and they’ve become

a highlight of his week and a

treasured piece of his identity.

Emily has come to dread these

weekly events. A hardworking staff attorney

for an art museum and a very

private person, the last thing she wants

to do when she gets home from work is

entertain. Her idea of a perfect start to

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