quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking-susan-cain
moment when an extrovert would havemade eye contact, or a skillful turn ofthe conversation by a lecturer thatplaces the burden of talking on theaudience when an extroverted speakerwould have held the floor a littlelonger.How was it that some of Lippa’spseudo-extroverts came so close to thescores of true extroverts? It turned outthat the introverts who were especiallygood at acting like extroverts tended toscore high for a trait that psychologistscall “self-monitoring.” Self-monitors arehighly skilled at modifying their behaviorto the social demands of a situation.They look for cues to tell themhow to act. When in Rome, they do asthe Romans do, according to the psychologistMark Snyder, author of PublicAppearances, Private Realities, and creatorof the Self-Monitoring Scale.600/929
One of the most effective self-monitorsI’ve ever met is a man namedEdgar, a well-known and much-belovedfixture on the New York social circuit.He and his wife host or attend fundraisersand other social events seeminglyevery weeknight. He’s the kind ofenfant terrible whose latest antics are afavorite topic of conversation. ButEdgar is an avowed introvert. “I’d muchrather sit and read and think aboutthings than talk to people,” he says.Yet talk to people he does. Edgar wasraised in a highly social family that expectedhim to self-monitor, and he’smotivated to do so. “I love politics,” hesays. “I love policy, I love makingthings happen, I want to change theworld in my own way. So I do stuffthat’s artificial. I don’t really like beingthe guest at someone else’s party, becausethen I have to be entertaining.601/929
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One of the most effective self-monitors
I’ve ever met is a man named
Edgar, a well-known and much-beloved
fixture on the New York social circuit.
He and his wife host or attend fundraisers
and other social events seemingly
every weeknight. He’s the kind of
enfant terrible whose latest antics are a
favorite topic of conversation. But
Edgar is an avowed introvert. “I’d much
rather sit and read and think about
things than talk to people,” he says.
Yet talk to people he does. Edgar was
raised in a highly social family that expected
him to self-monitor, and he’s
motivated to do so. “I love politics,” he
says. “I love policy, I love making
things happen, I want to change the
world in my own way. So I do stuff
that’s artificial. I don’t really like being
the guest at someone else’s party, because
then I have to be entertaining.
601/929
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