quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking-susan-cain

But his Asian roommates saw it differently.
To them, he came across as harsh
and angry. An Asian in that situation,
said Don, would be more careful with
his tone of voice. He would phrase his
displeasure in the form of a question,
not a request or command. Or he might
not bring it up at all. It wouldn’t be
worth upsetting the group over a few
dirty dishes.
What looks to Westerners like Asian
deference, in other words, is actually a
deeply felt concern for the sensibilities
of others. As the psychologist Harris
Bond observes, “It is only those from an
explicit tradition who would label [the
Asian] mode of discourse ‘self-effacement.’
Within this indirect tradition it
might be labeled ‘relationship honouring.’
” And relationship honoring leads
to social dynamics that can seem remarkable
from a Western perspective.
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