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putting myself to sleep. I wonder if

deep down the others feel this way, too.

Tom, the software engineer and

Abraham Lincoln look-alike, tells me of

a former girlfriend who was always

throwing open the doors of her house

to friends and strangers. She was adventurous

in every way: she loved new

food, new sexual experiences, new

people. It didn’t work out between

them—Tom eventually craved the company

of a partner who would focus

more on their relationship and less on

the outside world, and he’s happily

married now to just such a woman—but

he’s glad for the time with

his ex-girlfriend.

As Tom talks, I think of how much I

miss my husband, Ken, who’s back

home in New York and not a sensitive

type either, far from it. Sometimes this

is frustrating: if something moves me to

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