quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking-susan-cain
very different from the well-meaningbut unhelpful advice that you shouldjust jump in at the deep end and try toswim—an approach that might work,but more likely will produce panic, furtherencoding in your brain a cycle ofdread, fear, and shame.I found myself in good company.There were about fifteen people in theclass, which was led by Charles diCagno, a wiry, compact man withwarm brown eyes and a sophisticatedsense of humor. Charles is himself aveteran of exposure therapy. Publicspeaking anxiety doesn’t keep him upat night anymore, he says, but fear is awily enemy and he’s always working toget the better of it.The workshop had been in session fora few weeks before I joined, but Charlesassured me that newcomers were welcome.The group was more diverse than368/929
I expected. There was a fashion designerwith long, curly hair, bright lipstick,and pointy snakeskin boots; a secretarywith thick glasses and a clipped,matter-of-fact manner, who talked a lotabout her Mensa membership; a coupleof investment bankers, tall and athletic;an actor with black hair and vivid blueeyes who bounded cheerfully across theroom in his Puma sneakers but claimedto be terrified the entire time; a Chinesesoftware designer with a sweet smileand a nervous laugh. A regular crosssectionof New Yorkers, really. It mighthave been a class in digital photographyor Italian cooking.Except that it wasn’t. Charles explainedthat each of us would speak infront of the group, but at an anxietylevel we could handle.A martial arts instructor namedLateesha was first up that evening.369/929
- Page 317 and 318: Kagan tells me about the time hewat
- Page 319 and 320: like asking whether a blizzard is c
- Page 321 and 322: “The university is filled with in
- Page 323 and 324: extremely low-reactive kids? Often
- Page 325 and 326: According to Jay Belsky, a leadingp
- Page 327 and 328: it’s becoming the leader of their
- Page 329 and 330: Stephen Suomi, the scientist whocon
- Page 331 and 332: focuses on problems and pathology.
- Page 333 and 334: Most people would appreciate thefle
- Page 335 and 336: Developmental Neuroimaging and Psyc
- Page 337 and 338: We gaze reverently at the fMRI scan
- Page 339 and 340: doing all these early observations
- Page 341 and 342: strangers and feel “Geez! Who are
- Page 343 and 344: We might call this the “rubber ba
- Page 345 and 346: conditioned a rat to associate a ce
- Page 347 and 348: knows it. When she arrives at a par
- Page 349 and 350: makes people describe her as a “f
- Page 351 and 352: intimate backyard talks with her mo
- Page 353 and 354: part was when she got to close the
- Page 355 and 356: To solve Esther’s problem, let’
- Page 357 and 358: they’re constricted, so the brain
- Page 359 and 360: personality psychologist David Fund
- Page 361 and 362: also underperformed—taking an ave
- Page 363 and 364: state lasts only until your friend
- Page 365 and 366: alert, active, and energetic). Drow
- Page 367: Esther managed to solve her problem
- Page 371 and 372: turn to offer feedback. Did Lateesh
- Page 373 and 374: You seem so outgoing, they added.Yo
- Page 375 and 376: subjects that don’t interest them
- Page 377 and 378: the sixteenth president rising up b
- Page 379 and 380: chosen her for just this reason; in
- Page 381 and 382: At the same time, many told Eleanor
- Page 383 and 384: In the meantime, Eleanor found hers
- Page 385 and 386: When I hear that Aron will be theke
- Page 387 and 388: registration forms and name badges,
- Page 389 and 390: blue eyes that look as if they don
- Page 391 and 392: there only when she withdrew from t
- Page 393 and 394: attribute about fifteen motivations
- Page 395 and 396: intuitive (just as Aron’s husband
- Page 397 and 398: games or reading unfamiliar words.A
- Page 399 and 400: was distracting. But Aron had a gre
- Page 401 and 402: In 1921, FDR contracted polio. It w
- Page 403 and 404: from her trips, she often told him
- Page 405 and 406: was Eleanor who made sure he knewho
- Page 407 and 408: apparently breaking the toy gives t
- Page 409 and 410: and of another eight-year-old who c
- Page 411 and 412: some evidence that sociopaths haved
- Page 413 and 414: they camouflage signs of a nervous
- Page 415 and 416: supercool pulse rate during liftoff
- Page 417 and 418: intentionally,” Dijk speculates,
I expected. There was a fashion designer
with long, curly hair, bright lipstick,
and pointy snakeskin boots; a secretary
with thick glasses and a clipped,
matter-of-fact manner, who talked a lot
about her Mensa membership; a couple
of investment bankers, tall and athletic;
an actor with black hair and vivid blue
eyes who bounded cheerfully across the
room in his Puma sneakers but claimed
to be terrified the entire time; a Chinese
software designer with a sweet smile
and a nervous laugh. A regular crosssection
of New Yorkers, really. It might
have been a class in digital photography
or Italian cooking.
Except that it wasn’t. Charles explained
that each of us would speak in
front of the group, but at an anxiety
level we could handle.
A martial arts instructor named
Lateesha was first up that evening.
369/929