Focus on the Family Magazine - April/May 2023

ADVOCACY / KIDS & TEENS
Children do best when
raised by a mom and a dad
in a stable home. However,
when that ideal isn’t realized,
single individuals can
play an important role by
stepping in to serve as foster
and adoptive parents
for vulnerable children.
Peter at home in Charlotte, North Carolina
Living out God’s calling
I thought I couldn’t be a foster parent as a single man,
but I could be a mentor to children in need. So I embarked
on that path, reaching out through agencies to help
guide children who were experiencing the worst that
life can offer.
I worked closely with social workers, one of whom
asked if I might be interested in becoming a foster dad.
“I want to, but I can’t,” I told this person. The social
worker was surprised and let me know that I could be a
foster parent.
I signed up that day, and five months later I was
licensed and had my first placement. Since then I’ve had
close to 30 foster children. In 2019, I became a U.S. citizen
and adopted a son. I also have a teen foster son who aged
out of the system.
My second foster child was the blondest kid I have ever
seen; I figured that he must be at the wrong house. But
that placement was when I knew I was to foster any child
who needed a safe and loving home.
The journey hasn’t been without struggles. As a single
black man with white children in my care, I have faced
additional scrutiny, and biological parents have protested
having their children placed with me.
The looks people have given me at the grocery store,
park, school and hospital were unexpected, but I learned
quickly how to stand up to that. It’s been fun to watch
birth parents take a U-turn and begin embracing me as a
dad, healing the racial differences or biases toward me.
Healing the past
Becoming a foster dad has also brought healing in my life.
As I’ve helped children face their trauma, I’ve found healing
from my own. Little did I know I’d have to revisit my
childhood as a foster dad. Let’s just say these kids really
knew which buttons to push, and I’m glad I found ways to
use my past to help them heal.
Watching many of my foster kids’ biological parents
reminded me of my own abusive father and what I experienced
on the streets of Kampala. I disliked having
anything to do with these parents, but as I learned about
their backgrounds and what caused them to lose custody
of their kids, I realized that I had to be their ally, not their
enemy. >>>
APRIL / MAY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 43