9781644135945

The Christmas Cycle
“But while men were asleep, his enemy came and oversowed cockle among the wheat.” Every
day we examine our conscience, and we go to confession weekly. We are continually making new
resolutions to amend our lives and to root out our faults. We study the example of our Lord and
the lives of His saints, and pray frequently to be freed from our self-love and from our inordinate
attachment to the things of this world. In spite of all this effort, we seem unable to uproot the
cockle of our daily faults. It is true that not all of our faults are deliberate, yet neither are they
entirely blameless. Somehow, when we reflect upon them, we always feel that we could have
avoided them if we had been more vigilant. There appears to be no end to our weaknesses, and
we appear to make so little progress. At least outwardly we strive to do our duty and to conform
to what is expected of us; yet we are continually discovering that our motives are not always
pure. If we have conformed to the will of God and our rule of life, our actions are more often
motivated by human respect than by our devotion to God. We may ask ourselves: Where does
all this lead to? Are we really preparing for a holy death by daily advancing in perfection? We fear
that such is not the case in spite of all our firm resolutions to begin now to live entirely for God.
When we engage in some important worldly affair in the success of which we are intensely
interested, no care or trouble or exertion is too great for us. But for the things that concern God
and our eternal salvation, we can muster very little zeal and hardly any enthusiasm. How eagerly
we grasp for excuses that will free us from the onerous task of mastering ourselves! How gladly
we embrace exceptions that liberate us from the little sacrifices of regular life and allow us to
associate slyly with the world! The cockle is still among the wheat. In spite of all our striving
we have actually made little progress in virtue.
“Suffer both to grow.” The servants of the Lord were displeased at finding the cockle and
wished to uproot it immediately. The Lord, however, is wiser and counseled them, “Suffer both
to grow until the harvest.” All this cockle serves a purpose. Even the faults which we consider
involuntary, faults of character and faults resulting from our natural weaknesses, are not without
a purpose and play a definite part in our spiritual life. If we consider them in their true light,
they are really opportunities for spiritual growth. They keep us conscious that we have yet far
to go to approach the holiness of our Lord and His saints. When we gaze upon ourselves and
see ourselves as we really are, we become humble. It is easier for us to embrace the cross when
we understand that our own miserable weaknesses require this bitter remedy. Like the servants
of the Lord, our willfulness and self-love prompt us to destroy all our faults (our cockle) by one
grand gesture. But God is wiser than we: “Suffer both to grow.” He would have us grow strong
in virtue by a patient and persistent struggle against our faults. God does not will the faults that
He sees in us any more than we do, but He knows that their presence will keep us humble and
prompt us to strive incessantly to increase in virtue and strength.
Furthermore, our faults will prompt us to turn to God for help in time of need. Seeing our
own weakness, we shall learn to turn at once to God, the source of all strength. Let us ask God
for help, for we know that He is ever ready to assist us. Let us ask with confidence for the grace
to serve Him faithfully. Our faults serve this purpose, at least: they convince us that of ourselves
we cannot succeed, and must turn to Christ for aid.
“Suffer both to grow.” This does not mean that we should be indifferent to the cockle which we
find in our field. It is a great accomplishment if we can truly say that we have not of ourselves
added new faults to the cockle sown by the enemy. When we can say that we have in some
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