Voices from a third culture

Culture Studies
VOICES
FROM A
THIRD
CULTURE
By sharing their stories, our third
culture kids can welcome other
nomads. #inspired #fulfilled

Where are
you from?
• For most people, this is the easiest
question in the world to answer. They will
respond without hesitation and tell you,
not only their birthplace, but the exact
suburb or geographical area.
But for third culture kids (and adults) this
question is a minefield.
What happens if you are “from” a country
where you have never lived? Or maybe you
are “from” two countries but where not born
in any of them?
And what happens if your mother tongue
is…well…neither your mother’s or your
father’s tongue?
If you are part of the Swiss International
School family then you are probably a third
culture kid so we hope that you will enjoy
reading more about this special community.
Yohan’s Story
When your father is from Germany, your mother is an Indian, and you were born
and raised in Qatar, your cultural identity becomes a matter of great concern. It is
a concern in school, a concern in public life and a concern at home. Many
questions arise. Am I culturally free and open-minded, or am I just culturally
rootless? Third culture kids like me learn a lot as we get along in a culture where
neither of our parents belong. Where exactly are you from? This is a question
that I find myself trying to answer, wondering whether the answer should dwell
on my nationality, where my parents were born, where I live now, or a
combination of all these different backgrounds.
How overwhelming can life as a third culture kid be?
What is a third culture kid?
Third Culture Kids (TCK) is a term coined by Dr.Ruth Hill Useem (1915-2003) that
refers to children and individuals who have spent significant parts of their early
development and formative years of life in a culture different from that of their
parents. These children build relationships and broadly identify with all the
cultures in play but do not have full ownership in any of the cultures. The kids'
life experiences assimilate aspects of each culture. But, these kids derive the
sense of belonging from the relationships they create with others of the same
background or sharing similar experiences (Pollock, D.C., & Van Reken, R. E.,
2001). These children usually make their own version of culture, different from
the existing one due to influences of the parental culture and the culture they are
living. It is called third culture (Faye, N., 2016). It is a new culture that results in
the mixing and merging of parental culture and birth culture.

Do I fit the bill as a Third Culture Kid- ? Yes, I am rightly
and perfectly a Third Culture Kid because my mother is an
Indian, my father is German, and I was born and raised in
Qatar.
The Dilemma of Cultural Origin
Where exactly am I from? Depending on the person
asking and the context, I usually have different answers.
My answers and story keep changing, just like with all
other Third Culture Kids. I often go for the short and
straightforward option: Germany and India. Other times I
go with a long explanation of my mixed German and
Indian cultural origins and affirm to the person asking that
I feel like my real home, the only home I have known in all
my life, is Qatar. The next question is always harder. Are
you a Qatari? Due to the fact I am a Third Culture Kid, I am
more comfortable omitting details of my origins. Instead I
provide information to such a level that others will find it
easier to digest and understand my roots. All over the
world, Third Culture Kids are living with cultural dilemmas.
Benefits of Living as a Third Culture
Kids

Life as a Third Culture Kid can be liberating and overwhelming at the same time. Living with no strong cultural identity to and
attachment with both the parental culture and the culture of birth is liberating to say the least. Like all Third Culture Kids, I consider
myself to have strong capabilities of crossing cultures with ease and be more culturally adaptive, highly open-minded, better in
communications, more culturally empathetic and, most importantly, bilingual (Useem, H 1999)
Unlike non- Third Culture Kids, I am perfectly aware that there is more than just one way of looking at cultural situations. Living with
parents who belong to two different cultural backgrounds and being born in a different culture means I have at least three ways of
understanding wrong answers. Because I feel like a cultural outsider in all the cultural experiences surrounding me, I am well
capable of appreciating different points of view. For example, when growing up among other kids in school, I was regarded
different from the other kids because of the way my mother dressed me, the type of bread that she chose for my lunch and many
other things as these were not the norm in my culture of birth. My social group in school was also cultural outsiders. In this way, I
was able to understand the strength of cultural differences and similarities at an early stage of my life
I objectively consider myself more emotionally intelligent than my non-Third Culture Kid friends. I can control my emotions, I can
notice, register and understand social norms more proficiently than my other peers. What about cultural adaptability and making
relationships? Compared to other peers, I am more culturally adaptive as far as organizational, ethnic and national cultures are
concerned. Furthermore, I am well aware of more than one world view in culture and form relationships easily because I am
linguistically and culturally open-minded.
There are multiple positive elements of being a Third Culture Kid, but there are some downsides that only Third Culture Kids
experience. I am not an exception. For example, I often struggle with personal and cultural identity and loyalty. I am not sure
whether I should define myself more as a Qatari, German or Indian. At the end of the day, I will have to assume one, two or three
identities depending on the situation. When meeting relatives from my mother’s Indian side, I struggle with being an Indian and
when I am with my father’s relatives, I assume a German identity. A dilemma occurs as a result, and I frequently end up in these
gatherings bringing none of the three- an empty vessel. On the side of food choices, my eating habits are greatly shaped by my
mother’s cultural backgrounds. However, I find it easy to appreciate different dishes from different cultures.

Multicultural and Multilingual
Environments
As a Third Culture Kid born and raised in Qatar, I am
linguistically competent. From speaking English and basic
Arabic, to understanding Hindi and German, I fit well in
every linguistic environment. I switch languages with much
more ease than other non-Third Culture Kids in my social
groups.
"Inshallah"- is a term I use a lot which means "God willing"
or "only by God's grace" will anything happen. For example,
"I will see you tomorrow, inshallah," implies that only God
knows if the speaker will be alive another day. As a built-in
excuse, "inshallah" is commonly employed by someone
who has no intention of performing what you're asking
them to do, then claims that it is out of their hands and up to
a higher force! As-salamu alaikum, or "Peace be with you," is
a frequent Muslim greeting. Regardless of their native
tongue, Muslims greet each other with this expression
worldwide.
Islam is the most popular religion in Qatar practiced by
67.7% of the population. Hinduism and Christianity are each
practiced by 13.8% of the population. I understand that
Islam is as important as Hinduism and Christianity. I would
not have the same religious relativism if I were a non-Third

Cultural traditions in Qatar are highly influenced by the
country’s historical backgrounds of Bedouin descendants
that trace their origins in the Middle Eastern deserts. The
traditions are also influenced by Islamic culture that tends
to be conservative. Having said that, my German heritage
is comparatively less conservative. I am perfect in
appreciating and living in cultures with desert nomadism,
flashy cars, camel transportation, Bedouin carpets and
tents and national symbols present in Qatar and those
considered foreign in either India or Germany.
Despite many efforts to root out gender imbalances in
Qatar, gender-based segregations in public places still
exist in the country to women’s disadvantage. This is
highly unheard of in places such as Germany. Owing to
the fact that I understand both cultures, it is possible for
men and women to live in and try to eradicate these
cultural biases without causing cultural stress in Qatar.
And we have a lot to learn from Qatar too.
These are some benefits of living as a Third Culture Kid in
Qatar. Therefore my message as a third culture kid is as
follows: Be appreciative of all cultures and strive to
understand them from an insider’s point of view.

Cedric’s Story
The world as we know it is enveloped with phenomenal and
unique cultures that create diversity amongst us humans,
Qatar is known to be a hive of people from every corner of
the globe bringing us together. As a result of this many of us
come from a background known as being a “third culture
kid”, but what exactly does third culture mean? It is a group
of children who spend their development years overseas,
shaped by the multicultural norms of the places they've
lived, and the peripatetic spheres of their parents, who
usually have labour requirements that causes them to move
a lot. Consequently, this may seem like traveling and going
through outstanding amounts of experiences is great but
you have to take into consideration many other factors
(Editors of Merriam-Webster
I am Filipino, my mother is from the Philippines and my
father is from France. I was born in Nice, France but have
spent most of my life abroad in over 5 countries.

Firstly let me introduce myself: I am Filipino, my mother is
from the Philippines and my father is from France. I was
born in Nice, France but have spent most of my life abroad
in over 5 countries. Due to these conditions, I was exposed
to a variety of cultures from different parts of the world
encountering many forms of customs and traditions. I'm
very grateful for such opportunities to have met people
with different beliefs allowing my knowledge to expand
and being more open-minded about certain topics.
On the other hand, it may be very difficult at first during
the transition period as many third kid cultures may feel
neglected or left out as they are introduced to a new life.
From my experiences I can indeed agree that this
statement is correct, throughout my life there have been
moments where I was consumed by the thought of not
being able to fit into such a new environment.
Consequently, this issue will usually tend to dissolve as you
will find people who have many similarities compared to
you, allowing you to find a temporary home.
The word temporary has a
very profound meaning to
third culture kids.
It seems that a very common issue that is developing
amongst us is a difficulty to create relations and get
attached to our new life.
With my research collected, this is very much due to the
fact that we believe having such commitment with people
will cause mental stress moving to new places. This may
seem like a reasonable idea but in my opinion, I think
you should not discard social interactions with others to
save yourself from getting hurt but embrace the
moments created in order to progress as a person.
Another aspect that I
struggled with was having
trouble finding my “identity”.
Third-culture
kids fear of being questioned about where they're from
derives from their experience growing up between
cultures. While they feel strongly attached to their host
nations, they do not feel totally at home in any one culture
as they may not have witnessed long enough of a certain
culture to label themselves.

Attending a local or international school is a decision that
has a significant impact on a kid's sense of belonging;
programs like the IB Curriculum may make a child more
adaptable, but a local education provides more
opportunities for immersion.
According to a Denizen poll, the average third-culture child
has relocated at least once before the age of five and will
move at least four times during their lives. 85 percent can
communicate in at least two languages, and 47 percent can
communicate in at least three. I have fallen into this
category as moving a lot has forced me to adapt to learning
English ,making it my most fluent language, but I have kept
my origins meaning I can speak French, English, German
and Tagalog.
This introduces the academic side of third culture kids.
“In 2001, it was found by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics
that 61.7 percent of 2001 high school graduates were
enrolled in college. That same year, it was found that 95
percent of the TCK population were either enrolled or had
some college education.” (Wikipedia Contributors)

As a community, it is very important to be self-aware and
know more about your surroundings as more than 220
million people are third culture kids!
How can you be considerate about their struggles, teach
your youngster to listen to their "internal voice" as well as
the one that dominates. Dr Carr-Gregg argues that being
proactive and "reframing things in a positive way" might
help to change this negativity. Reframing can help us
overcome negative beliefs and feel more in control and
happy. For instance, if the child believes, "Again, a new
school, I won't be accepted or make any new friends,"
educate them to reframe the thinking as "a new school, a
new beginning filled with intriguing individuals who will
turn out to be excellent friends.". Another element in
addition to this is to guide them in order to find a hobby
that they are passionate about in order for the transition
between cultures to be smoother and allow them to feel
accepted.
In conclusion, “the constant move and
amendment of friends can disrupt their
social lives and can result in withdrawal,
isolation, or anger. While some third
culture kids reflect on their experiences

SISQ students
are inspired to
support
others…
• In our “creating culture”
units, students identified
how challenging it can be to
go to a new school in a new
country and they decided to
write some messages to
support any new students
who might be feeling
overwhelmed…

Where is your home?
Dear Third Culture Kid,
Which culture do you belong to? Hard question, right?
Especially when you have parents from different cultures,
and you happen to be born in another country. Well, in case
you didn’t know, you are under the category of “Third
Culture Kids.” Nice to know that you aren’t the only one in
this world who happens to live away from your home
country. Third culture kids are children who spend a long
period of time in many different countries which aren't their
own. Think about it for a second - there could be a lot of
advantages! But, we all know that when you have an
advantage, you always have a disadvantage.
In this letter, you will learn all about you being a third culture
kid – the ups and the downs and everything in between. I am
also one of you and this is my experience brought into your
hands.

Advantages of being a TCK!
It is befitting that I enlighten you about my third culture
background. My dad is German, while my mother is Indian,
and I was born and raised in Qatar. Going deeper into my
lineage, my great grandmother is Burmese, and my
grandmother is Turkish. Therefore, my third culture, just like
those of other third-culture kids, is influenced by both my
parents’ culture and the culture of where I grew up.Third
culture kids have the advantage of being immersed in
multiple cultures, which, from my experience, provides
excellent cross-cultural skills.Many TCKs are multilingual,
which means you can speak multiple languages. Speaking
multiple languages helps communicate to other people,
not only your kind. This will help build friendships as you
can see other people’s perspectives.Another clear
advantage is your ability to adjust to new situations quickly.
Because you move around so much, you can adapt to
change more than people who only move once in a
lifetime. You are so used to everything changing, that
sometimes you don’t even feel it as you don’t mind.
Adapting to situations also means that you will not spend
time thinking about your circumstances but be satisfied
with your new life. You will also find it easy to get back up
when life knocks you down as it will be easy to find new
ways.
You are a resilient, third
culture kid.
You also feel empathy towards others especially someone
new in the society because you know how it felt when you
were an outsider. You have been there, the new person in
this new world, so you know how it feels to be in a different
place, which makes it easier for you to show empathy to
others.
Diversity does not threaten
you. Have you ever seen
someone wearing a hijab?
Did you stop them and laugh
at them? No, because you
are a third culture kid. TCKs
do not stare....

Now for the disadvantages...
You are a foreigner to your own culture. This happens a lot
to a TCK as when we go back “home.”, we do not fit in our
original culture. From my experience, when I go back to my
mother’s homeland, I cannot speak their native language
making it difficult for me to communicate with my family
members. This can lead to misunderstandings and fall outs
as we cannot understand each other. When I go over to my
father’s homeland, I find it uncomfortable how my family
members ‘freely talk’ as I do not swear. My extended family
may eat food that isn’t halal even though I have adapted
the Arab culture of Halal food.
mean I am a lost soul. We TCKs have each other. I hope this
helps keep your spirits high, that you do not stand alone.
TCKs are everywhere, and you are lucky enough to have a
passport stamped a lot of times as some people cannot
afford a passport and never see or experience in their
lifetime what you have before the age of 18 . This is the life
someone else would just want a day of and it is all yours. I
hope this letter will get you comfortable on being a TCK as
it will have a major impact on you in a beneficial way. Trust
me!
Yours sincerely
Lydia
No pets allowed. Because of the constant moving and
shifting, having a pet will add on to the family burden. Pets
are very hard to shift from countries as it is expensive and
may take a lot of time. So, scrap that out of your bucket list
as it is not going to happen till you move out. But at least
you don’t have to sift kitty litter or clean up after the dog !
Well, this wraps up your life story. Remember, you are not
the only one going through bereavement, I am one of you.
From my experience as a TCK, I never had the chance to
feel the culture of my home countries, but that does not

A message from
arianna
I always try to be a glass half full kind of girl and from my
own personal experience I do know that being a third
culture kid can actually be a really good thing. It’s like we
understand each other in a way. My mother is from
Scotland, while my father is Italian but was raised in
England. They have both lived in Qatar for almost sixteen
years. I was born in Qatar and therefore as a third culture
kid I live a life, which has been influenced by a blend of
Scottish, English, Italian and Qatari cultures. Some people
say it’s truly unique to be a third culture kid however,
sometimes you don’t know when to call a place home.
Born in Qatar, I have lived here all my life. I attended the
same primary school from the age of three until aged
eleven and I know that this has provided me with great
stability. Since the age of two months, I have travelled and
been exposed to many different countries and cultures. My
parents wanted me to experience this as it gives me an
opportunity. Since I can remember, experiencing life in a
multi-cultural and diverse society has been completely
normal to me. As an individual, this makes me confident
because I feel open-minded, tolerant, adaptable and
accepting of people from every pocket of the globe.
Having an understanding of mixing cultures is truly
remarkable. Communicating with people who are from
different cultures, races, religions and those who speak
different languages is something that is natural and does
not faze me. I am a very well rounded person and the fact
that I have multiple cultures shaping my mind, personality
and spirituality makes me feel special and unique and I
love this about myself! However, being a third culture kid
based in the same country since birth, attending only one
school, having the same best friend since I was three and
having pets makes it much easier for me to be positive
about being raised as a third culture kid. I know other kids
are not so fortunate and it must be seriously tough on
them.
As in life, there are always some challenges. Even for
myself, and more so for third culture kids who have had no
choice but to bounce from country to country and culture
to culture, there can be a downside. For me personally, I do
not get to see my extended family in the United Kingdom
as often as I would like. Although every summer I spend

two months in the United Kingdom, there is a sense of disconnect
because one whole year passes before I see family again. A lot happens
and changes in one year. This sometimes makes me feel that I have
missed out on so much, and I don’t like that feeling. Additionally, people
come and go in the life of a third culture kid. Sometimes it can feel like
friends are family and then overnight situations change and those
people are catapulted out of your life. This can be terribly upsetting and
disruptive in feeling stable and settled. The idea of making new friends
and connections, unable to have pets and studying in unfamiliar
languages must often feel exhausting and sometimes even terrifying.
Sometimes they might even give up on the idea of finding best friends
because they can’t face the pain of getting up and leaving again. They
may struggle in understanding their own sense of identity and where
they actually belong.
In closing, I would like to welcome you again to our SISQ community. I
know as a third culture kid you might be feeling all sorts of crazy feelings
right now, but let me just reassure you, you are not alone. There are
many of us here, and we are thriving in the SISQ community at this time.
You are going to feel a great sense of belonging because those around
you empathize with your status and want to make you feel at home, for
however long that may last.
It is a journey to look forward to.