Wimpy Kid The Deep End

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PUFFIN BOOKS
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID
2

1
1
2
3
2
4
3
5
4
5
THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID SERIES
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
6 Cabin Fever
6
7 The Third Wheel
Cabin Fe
ver
8
7
Hard Luck
The Third Wheel
9
8
The Long Haul
Hard Luck
10
9
Old School
The Long Haul
10
Old School
The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book
11
THE
DIAR
Y OF A
WIMPY KID
SERIES
Rodrick Rules
Diar
y of a
Wimpy Kid
The Last Straw
Rodric
k Rules
Dog Days
The Last Straw
The Ugly Truth
Dog Days
The Ugly Truth
MORE FROM THE WIMPY WORLD
MORE FROM THE
WIMPY
WORLD
Double Down
11
12 The Getaway
Double Down
13
12
The Meltdown
The Getaway
14
13
Wrecking Ball
The Meltdown
15
14
The Deep End
Wrecking Ball
15
The Deep End
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary
The
Wimpy Kid Do-It-Y
ourself Book
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary:
The Next Chapter
The
Wimpy Kid Mo
vie Diary
Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid: Rowley Jefferson’
s Journal
The
Wimpy Kid Mo
vie Diary:
The Next Chapter
Rowley Jefferson’
s Awesome Friendly Adventure
Diar
y of an
Awesome Friendly Kid:
Rowley Jeff
erson’
s Journal
Rowley
Jeffer
son’
s Awesome
Friendly Adventure
3

4

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First published in the English language in the USA
by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS, 2020
Original First published English title:
in the Diar
English y of a Wimpy language Kid:
in The the Deep USAEnd
(All rights by
Amulet reserved Books, in all an countries imprint by of Harry ABRAMS, N. Abrams,
2020 Inc.)
Published Original simultaneously English title:
Diar in Gr
y of eat a Britain Wimpy by Kid: Puffin The Deep Books End2020
(All rights reserved in all countries by Harry N.
Abrams, Inc
.)
Published simultaneously in Gr
eat Britain by Puffin Books 2020
Wimpy Kid text and illustrations copyright © Wimpy Kid, Inc.,
2020
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID®, WIMPY KID, and the Greg Heffley design
Wimpy and Kid the text design and illustrations of the book’
cop s cover yright ar
© e trademarks Wimpy Kid, and
Inc.,
2020
DIAR
Y OF A trade WIMPY dress KID®, of Wimpy WIMPY Kid,
KID, Inc.
All and rights the Greg reserved.
Heffley design
and the design of the book’
s cover ar
e trademarks and
trade dress Book of
Wimpy design Kid, by Inc
Jeff .
All Kinne
rights y
reserved.
Cover design by Jeff Kinney and Marcie Lawrence
Book design by Jeff Kinney
The moral Cover right design of bthe y Jeff author/illustrator Kinney and Marhas cie Lawrence been asserted
The moral right of the author/illustrator has been asserted
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
A CIP catalogue record f
or this book is available from the British Library
ISBN
ISBN
: 978–0–241–39697–1
: 978–0–241–39697–1
All correspondence to:
Puffin Books, Penguin Random House Children’ s
One Embassy Gardens,
All correspondence 8 Viaduct Gardens,
to: London SW11 7BW
Puffin Books,
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London SW11 7BW
5

tO
tO
RYA N
RYA N
6

7

AUGUST
Thursday
I love my family and Aall, UGUS but TI don’t need to
Thursday spend twenty-four hours a day with them, seven
I days love a my week. family And and that’s
all, EX
but A
I CTL
don’t Y the need way toit’s
spend been around twenty-four here lately.
hours a day with them, seven
days a week. And that’s
EXAC
TLY
the way it’s
been It’s around not just
here ME
lawho’s tely. getting tired of this,
either. We’re ALL going a little nuts, and if
It’s things not don’t just change ME
who’s soon getting I think tired we’re of gonna this, go
either. off We’re deep ALL end.
going a little nuts, and if
things don’t change soon I think we’re gonna go
off the deep end.
Mom says we’ve been cooped up for too long and
we just need a holiday. But what we really need
Mom is a holiday says we’ve from been each
cooped OTHER
up .
for too long and
we just need a holiday. But what we really need
is a holiday from each O
THER.
1
1
8

That’s not gonna happen anytime soon, though,
because we don’t have any MONEY. And the
That’s reason we not don’t gonna is happen kind of anytime a long story.
soon, though,
because we don’t have any
MONEY
. And the
reason we don’t is kind of a long story.
We’ve been living in Gramma’s basement for two
months, and I don’t know how much longer we
We’ve can keep been going living like in Gramma’s this. Mom basement says that for one
two
months, day we’ ll and look I back don’t know this time how and much smile, longer but
we
can she’s keep not going the one like who this. has Mom to share says that a futon onewith
day RODRICK
we’
ll look every back night.
on this time and smile, but
she’s not the one who has to share a futon with
2R
ODRICK
every night.
2
9

The crazy thing is, Gramma’s got plenty of room
in her house, so I don’t understand why our
The whole crazy family thing has to is, stay Gramma’s in her got basement. plenty of When
room
in we her first house, got here, so I I don’t called understand dibs on the why guest
our
whole room, family but Gramma has to said stay it in was her already basement. taken.
When
we first got here, I called dibs on the guest
room, but Gramma said it was already taken.
I don’t think Gramma’s too thrilled we’re living
with her, because whenever her friends come over
I she don’t asks think us to Gramma’s stay out of too sight.
thrilled we’re living
with her, because whenever her friends come over
she asks us to stay out of sight.
3
3
10

And that’s kind of inconvenient since there isn’t a
bathroom in the basement, and her friends always
And stay F
that’s OREVER
kind .
of inconvenient since there isn’t a
bathroom in the basement, and her friends always
stay
F
OREVER
.
We can’t use the kitchen when Gramma’s got
guests, which means we can’t eat dinner until after
We they’re can’t gone. use the But kitchen last night when I Gramma’s guess Rodrick got got
guests, sick of waiting, which means so he we heated can’t eat up some dinner leftover
until after
they’re pizza in gone. Gramma’s But dryer.
last night I guess Rodrick got
sick of waiting, so he heated up some leftover
pizza in Gramma’s dryer.
4
4
11

There’s no TV in Gramma’s basement, so the only
thing we’ve got to entertain ourselves with is each
There’s OTHER
no . And, TV
in believe Gramma’s me, that’s basement, not enough.
so the only
thing we’ve got to entertain ourselves with is each
O
THER
. And, believe me, that’s not enough.
Mom says being bored is good, because it makes
you use your imagination. But whenever I try it
Mom I always says end being up bored imagining is good, the because exact same it makes thing.
you use your imagination. But whenever I try it
I always end up imagining the exact same thing.
5
5
12

Something that’s making the situation a lot
harder is that Dad is working from home this
Something summer, which that’s means making he’s the always situation around. a And
lot
harder whenever is Dad that has Dad a is meeting, working the from rest home of this us have
summer, to pretend which we’re means not he’s there.
always around. And
whenever Dad has a meeting, the rest of us have
to But pretend that’s not we’re always not there. easy to do, especially when
you’ve got a three-year-old in the family.
But that’s not always easy to do, especially when
you’ve got a three-year-old in the family.
Most of the time I just try to keep myself
busy. Gramma’s got stacks of puzzles down in the
Most basement, of the and time I’ve I done just try a few to of keep them myself by myself.
busy. But Mom Gramma’s always got lets stacks Manny of put puzzles in the down last piece in theto
basement, make him feel and important.
I’ve done a few of them by myself.
But Mom always lets Manny put in the last piece to
6
make him feel important.
6
13

If you ask me, I don’t think Mom’s doing Manny
any favours by BABYING
him. And it’s got a lot
If worse you since ask we me, started I don’t living think at Mom’s Gramma’s.
doing Manny
any favours by
BAB
YING
him. And it’s got a lot
worse Sometimes, since we after started dinner, living we’
at ll play Gramma’s. a board game
as a family. But Manny can’t handle complicated
Sometimes, rules, so we after always dinner, end up we’ playing ll a game board that
game
as doesn’t a family. require But any
Manny SKILL
can’t .
handle complicated
rules, so we always end up playing a game that
doesn’t require any
SKILL.
7
7
14

We
have to go to bed before it’s even dark
outside,
because
we’re all on MANNY’
S schedule.
We
have to go to bed before it’s even dark
outs
id
e, b
eca
use
we’re all on
MANNY
’
S
schedule.
These days, Manny’s favourite bedtime story is a
Noah’s Ark picture book. It’s about this guy who
These hears it’s days, gonna Manny’s rain for favourite a really bedtime long time, story so is he
a
Noah’s builds a Ark giant picture boat to book. ride It’s out the about storm this with guy who a
hears bunch it’s of animals.
gonna rain for a really long time, so he
builds a giant boat to ride out the storm with a
bunch of animals.
8
8
15

The illustrations in Manny’s book are all cartoons,
and they make it look like a flood that wiped out
The half illustrations the Earth was in Manny’s kind of
book FUN
are .
all cartoons,
and they make it look like a f
lood that wiped out
half the Earth was kind of
FUN
.
But I guess if the drawings were more realistic,
parents wouldn’t buy it for their pre-schoolers.
But I guess if the drawings were more realistic,
parents wouldn’t buy it for their pre-schoolers.
9
9
16

I’ve got some questions about the Noah’s Ark
story, though. For starters, I wanna know why
I’ve Noah
got let
some venomou
questions s creatures about like the snakes Noah’s and
Ark
stor sc
pi
y, on
ts
houg on
h. board. For starters, Because, if I it wanna was ME
know , I
why
Noah would’ve letused venthe omouopportunity s creatures like to leave snakes a few andof
sc
those or
pi
on guys s
onBEHIND
board. Because, .
if it was
ME
, I
would’ve used the opportunity to leave a few of
those guys
BEHIND.
And then I would’ve used the extra space for
more of the GOOD animals, like puppies and
And hedgehogs then I and would’ve those pygmy used the hippopotamuses.
extra space for
more of the
GOOD
animals, like puppies and
hedgehogs and those pygmy hippopotamuses.
10
10
17

Luckily, Noah didn’t have to make room on board
for whales and fish, because they would’ve taken up
Luckily, a TON
of Noah space. didn’t And have they to probably make room didn’t on board even
for know whales the f
and lood fish, was because happening they to would’ve begin with.
taken up
a
TON
of space. And they probably didn’t even
know the f
lood was happening to begin with.
But it doesn’t make a lot of sense that Noah
let
BIRDS
on
the
ark, since
they could’ve just
But FLO
it W
doesn’t N. And make I bet a lot he of regretted sense that that Noah decision
let right BIRDS away.
on
the
ark
, si
nce
they could’ve just
F
LOWN
. And I bet he regretted that decision
right away.
11
11
18

You only hear about the animals that SURVIVED
the flood. But sometimes I wonder if there were
You some only cool hear animals about that
the DIDN
animals ’ T
that make SUR it on VIVED to the
the boat.
f
lood. But sometimes I wonder if there were
some cool animals that
DIDN’
T
make it on to the
boat.
The way the story goes, after it rained for forty
days and forty nights, it took 150 days for the
The floodwater way the to story go back goes, down. after That it rained means for Noah
forty
days was stuck and forty on the nights, boat with took a bunch 15
0 of days animals,
for the
fplus loodwater his wife to and go three back down. sons.
That means Noah
was stuck on the boat with a bunch of animals,
plus And his whenever wife and I three feel sorry sons. for myself living in
Gramma’s basement with my family, I think about
And Noah whenever and it makes I feel me sorry feel a for little myself better.
living in
Gramma’s basement with my family, I think about
12
Noah and it makes me feel a little better.
12
19

Mom keeps saying she’s glad we’re all together
right now, because she feels like time has slowed
Mom down. keeps I’ve saying noticed she’s that, glad too, we’re but all for
together ME it’s not
right a GOOD
now, thing.
because she feels like time has slowed
down. I’ve noticed that, too, but for
ME
it’s not
a
GOOD
thing.
13
13
20

Something that’s making this summer feel really
long
is that I can’t go to my friend Rowley’s
Something house. And that’s making because this he’s summer off on feel some really big
European lo
ng
is that holiday I can’t with go his to family.
my friend Rowley’s
house. And that’s because he’s off on some big
European When Rowley holiday first with told his me family. about his family’s
plans, I tried to see if his parents might let me
When tag along. Rowley But first I guess told me Mr about and Mrs his family’s Jefferson
plans, aren’t as I sharp tried to as see I thought if his parents they were, might because
let me
tag they along. never But picked I up guess on Mr any and of my Mrs hints.
Jefferson
aren’t as sharp as I thought they were, because
they never picked up on any of my hints.
So now Rowley’s probably off having the time of
his life while I’m doing five-hundred-piece puzzles
So in my now grandmother’s Rowley’s probably basement.
off having the time of
his life while I’m doing five-hundred-piece puzzles
14
in my grandmother’s basement.
14
21

I think Mom feels bad we can’t afford to do
something special this summer, so she’s been trying
I to think make up Mom for feels it.
bad we can’t afford to do
something special this summer, so she’s been trying
to She make says up we for can it. go anywhere we want if we just
use our imaginations. But, to be honest, that’s
She not really says we doing can go it for anywhere me we more.
want if we just
use our imaginations. But, to be honest, that’s
not really doing it for me any more.
I think Mom’s finally had enough, too, because last
night she called a “family meeting” after dinner to
I brainstorm think Mom’s ideas finally for holidays had enough, that we too, can because afford.
last
night But the she problem called a is, “family everyone’s meeting” got their
after OW
dinner N idea
to
brainstorm of a good time.
ideas for holidays that we can afford.
But the problem is, everyone’s got their
OWN
idea
of a good time.
15
15
22

Dad wants to drive around and visit a bunch of
Civil War battlefields and take part in a
Dad re-enactment. wants to But drive nobody around else and was visit crazy a bunch about
of
Civil putting War on battlefields wool underwear and take in the part middle in aof August.
re-enactment. But nobody else was crazy about
putting on wool underwear in the middle of August.
Manny wants to go to the Animal Safari, which
we used to visit a lot when I was little. But the
Manny animals wants in that to place go to always the Animal seem so
Safari, SAD, especially
which
we the used donkey to visit they a painted lot when to I look was like little. a zebra.
But the
animals in that place always seem so
SAD
, especially
the donkey they painted to look like a zebra.
16
16
23

Mom said we could save money by staying close to
home and visiting places in our own community. But
Mom I’ve gone said we on could enough save school money field by trips staying to close feel like
to
home I know and this visiting town places inside in and our out.
own community. But
I’ve gone on enough school field trips to feel like
I know this town inside and out.
The only ones who could agree on what we should
do were me and Rodrick. We both voted to go to
The the Thrills only ones and who Spills could amusement agree on park, what which we should would
do be CHEAP
were me since and Rodrick. Gramma We got both half-price voted coupons to go toin
the Thrills mail.
and Spills amusement park, which would
be
CHEAP
since Gramma got half-price coupons in
the mail.
17
17
24

Plus, they just opened a new roller coaster called
Trackjumper that’s supposed to be totally
INSANE.
Plus, they just opened a new roller coaster called
Trackjumper that’s supposed to be totally
INSA
NE
.
Mom said the rides at Thrills and Spills are too
scary for Manny, so she suggested we go to
Mom Storybook said the Village, rides which at Thrills has rides and Spills for all are ages.
too
scary But me for and Manny, Rodrick so have she suggested had enough we of go Little
to
Storybook Miss Muffet’s Village, Mild which Ride for has one rides lifetime.
for all ages.
But me and Rodrick have had enough of Little
Miss Muffet’s Mild Ride for one lifetime.
18
18
25

Since my family couldn’t settle on anything, I
suggested we all go on our OWN holidays and do
Since a slideshow my family of everyone’s couldn’t settle trips on when anything, we get back.
I
suggested we all go on our
OWN
holidays and do
a slideshow of everyone’s trips when we get back.
Mom said the whole point of being on a family
holiday is to do things TOGETHER. She says
Mom that said one day the us whole kids point are gonna of being go on our a separate
family
holiday ways, and is to time’s do things running Tout OGETHER to make . happy
She says
that memories one as day a famil
us kids y
are .
gonna go our separate
ways, and time’s running out to make happy
memories as a
family
.
But, believe me, for THIS family to make happy
memories together, it’s gonna take a MIRACLE.
But, believe me, for
THIS
family to make happy
memories together, it’s gonna take a
MIRA
CLE.
19
19
26

Monday
We finally figured out a way we could afford to go
Monday
a family holiday this summer.
We finally figured out a way we could afford to go
on On a Saturday family holiday night this my great summer. grandmother Gammie
called Dad and asked if he could get rid of Uncle
On Gary’s Saturday camper night van, which my great has grandmother been parked in Gammie her
called driveway Dad for and the asked past if two he years.
could get rid of Uncle
Gary’s camper van, which has been parked in her
driveway for the past two years.
Apparently, Uncle Gary ran off to work as a
rodeo clown, and she doesn’t think he’s coming
Apparently, back anytime Uncle soon.
Gary ran off to work as a
rodeo clown, and she doesn’t think he’s coming
back At first anytime Dad soon. was MAD, because he’s always
cleaning up Uncle Gary’s messes. But Mom said the
At camper first van Dad was was the MAD solution , because to our he’s holiday always problems.
cleaning up Uncle Gary’s messes. But Mom said the
20
camper van was the solution to our holiday problems.
20
27

Mom said the reason holidays are so expensive
is because staying in hotels and eating at
Mom restaurants said the cost reason a lot holidays of money. are She so expensive said the
is camper because van staying would take in hotels care and of BO
eating TH those
at
restaurants things.
cost a lot of money. She said the
camper van would take care of
BO
TH
those
things. Then DAD
started getting excited. He said we
could hit the open road and stop for the night
Then whenever D
ADwe
started FELT
like getting it, and excited. we could He said cook we for
could ourselves, hit the too.
open road and stop for the night
whenever we
FELT
like it, and we could cook for
ourselves, too.
All I know is me and my brothers were so happy
for the chance
to get
out
of
Gramma’s basement
All that I we know probably is me wo
and uld’
my ve ag
brothers reed to
were ANYTHING
so happy.
for t
he ch
ance
to get
out
of
Gramma’s basement
that we probably woul
d’ ve
ag
reed
to
ANYTHING21
.
21
28

Mom says we’ ll have a lot of adventures along the
way, and now I’
M getting kind of excited about
Mom this trip, says we’ too.
ll have a lot of adventures along the
way, and now
I
’
M
getting kind of excited about
this trip, too.
In fact, I’m actually starting to feel a little
bad for
ROWLEY. Because, while he’s stuck
in a
In boring fact, museum I’m actually on the other starting side to of feel the a world, little I’m
bad gonn
fa orbe Rof
Of WLEY doing . something Because, while really
he’s WILD
st
uc . k
in a
boring museum on the other side of the world, I’m
gonn
a be of
f doing something really
WILD.
22
22
29

For the past two days, we’ve been getting ready
for
our holiday. And I’m a little worried that
For Mom’
the s hoping past to two turn days, this we’ve into an been educational getting ready trip.
for
our holiday. And I’m a little worried that
Mom’
s hoping to turn this into an educational trip.
But, believe me, the LAST
thing I’m planning
on doing is any LEARNING.
But, believe me, the
LAST
thing I’m planning
on doing is any
LEARNING.
23
23
30

Wednesday
This morning we went to the grocery store and
Wednesday stocked up on food for the trip. Then we went to
This the camping morning superstore we went to to the get grocery everything
store ELSE
and
stocked we’re gonna up on need.
food for the trip. Then we went to
the camping superstore to get everything
ELSE
we’re I was gonna pretty need. excited, because we’ve never actually
BOUGHT
anything at the camping store before.
I Dad was used pretty to take excited, me and because Rodrick we’ve there never when actually we
BOUGH were little, T
anything but that at was the just camping to kill store time on before. a
Dad Saturday used morning.
to take me and Rodrick there when we
were little, but that was just to kill time on a
Saturday morning.
24
24
31

When we got to the store today, Dad went
around and picked up some basic supplies, like
When lanterns we and got flasks to the and store camping today, chairs.
Dad went
around and picked up some basic supplies, like
lanterns But I went and straight flasks and to camping the section chairs. of the store
with the high-end gear. Because I figure if we’re
But really I doing went this straight thing to I’m the gonna section want of the to be
store
with COMFOR
the high-end TA
BLE.
gear. Because I figure if we’re
really doing this thing I’m gonna want to be
COMFORTA
BLE.
I picked out an inflatable pull-out sofa and hiking
boots with little fans built into the heels, plus
I a solar-powered picked out an blender inf
latable that pull-out can make sofa a and cherry
hiking
boots slushie with in thirty little seconds.
fans built into the heels, plus
a solar-powered blender that can make a cherry
slushie in thirty seconds.
25
25
32

Dad said those things weren’t for SERIOUS
campers, though, and made me put them back.
Dad said those things weren’t for
SERIOUS
campers, though, and made me put them back.
Dad said we’re gonna “live off the land” as much
as possible on this trip, and he picked out a few
Dad fishing said rods. we’re Well, gonna I “live don’t off know the about land” anyone
as m
uch
as else, possible but the on only this trip, fish I’
and ll eat he comes picked in out the a shape
few
fishing of a STICK
rods. .
Well, I don’t know about anyone
else, but the only fish I’
ll eat comes in the shape
of a S
TICK.
Manny and Rodrick got really excited about the
idea of catching our own food, so they went off to
Manny find their
and OWN
Rodrick gear.
got really excited about the
idea of catching our own food, so they went off to
26
find their
OWN
gear.
26
33

But Mom stopped them before they could get too
carried away.
But Mom stopped them before they could get too
carried away.
Rodrick was pretty disappointed. I guess he was
planning on doing some trophy hunting while we
Rodrick were on our
was trip
pretty , and disappointed. was hoping to I decorate guess he was the
planning kitchen when on doing our house some trophy is finished.
hunting while we
were on our
trip,
and was hoping to decorate the
kitchen when our house is finished.
27
27
34

After Dad was done shopping, he was ready to
check out. But I think Mom was nervous that we
After weren’t Dad getting was done the right shopping, kind of he equipment, was ready to so
check she asked out. a But salesperson I think to Mom look was over nervous our stuff that and
we
weren’t see if we getting had everything the right we kind needed.
of equipment, so
she asked a salesperson to look over our stuff and
see if we had everything we needed.
Well, this guy must’ve been a wilderness survival
expert or something, because he had a LOT to
Well, say. And this none guy must’ve of it made been me a wilderness feel confident survival about
expert going on or a something, camping trip.
because he had a
LOT
to
say. And none of it made me feel confident about
going The salesman on a camping said the trip. number-one thing we needed
to worry about was BEARS, because there are
The a ton salesman of them said in the places number-one we were thing going. we But
needed
he to
worry said there about were was a BEARS few things , because we could there do to
are
protect a
ton of ourselves, them in the just places in case.
we were going. But
he said there were a few things we could do to
28
protect ourselves, just in case.
28
35

The salesman said the first thing we needed to
remember was to always tie up our trash and hang
The it in salesman a tree so said it would the first be out thing of reach we needed for bears.
to
remember Then he said was if to we
always REALL
tie Y
up wanted our trash to be and safe hang we
it should in a buy tree a so jug it of would wolf be urine out and of reach spray for it around
bears.
Then our camp he said every if night, we
REALL because Y
wanted it scares to bears safe off.
we
should buy a jug of wolf urine and spray it around
our camp every night, because it scares bears off.
I tried to imagine whose job it is to COLLECT
wolf urine, and I promised myself I’d start
I getting tried better to imagine grades whose in school job it so is to it doesn’t COLLEend
CT
wolf up being
urine, ME
and .
I promised myself I’d start
getting better grades in school so it doesn’t end
up being
ME.
29
29
36

The salesman said the other thing we had to
worry about was bugs like mosquitoes and ticks,
The so we salesman should always said the put other on plenty thing of we bug had spray.
to
worry about was bugs like mosquitoes and ticks,
so I was we should totally always on board put with
on plenty THAT
of idea, bug because
spray.
one time Albert Sandy told everyone at our lunch
I table was about totally this on kid board who with fell asleep TH
AT outside idea, because and got
one sucked
time DRY
Albert by a Sandy mosquito. told And everyone that at soun
our ds lunch like a
pretty table about bad this way to kid go who to fell me.
asleep outside and got
sucked D
RY
by a mosquito. And that soun
ds like a
pretty bad way to go to me.
I was starting to get a little nervous when the
salesman told us everything ELSE we needed. He
I said was we starting had to have to get a first-aid a little nervous kit in case when someone
the
salesman got injured, told and us everything waterproof ELSE matches we in needed. case our
He
said gear we got had wet.
to have a first-aid kit in case someone
got injured, and waterproof matches in case our
30
gear got wet.
30
37

Plus, we needed a compass if we got lost, a
snakebite kit if someone got bitten, and a flare
Plus, gun if we things
needed REALL
a compass Y got
if bad.
we got lost, a
snakebite kit if someone got bitten, and a f
lare
gun if things
REALLY
got
bad.
By the time we paid, I was a little shook up.
And, I have to admit, Gramma’s basement didn’t
By seem the so
time terrible
we paid, any I was more.
a little shook up.
And, I have to admit, Gramma’s basement didn’t
seem so
terrible
any more.
31
31
38

I think the guy at the camping store stressed
Dad out, because after we paid for all the stuff
I we think kind of the rushed guy at out the of camping there. And store we stressed were
Dad halfway out, home because before after realizing we paid Rodrick for all was the missing,
stuff
we and kind we had of rushed to go BA
out CK
of .
there. And we were
halfway home before realizing Rodrick was missing,
and we had to go
BA
CK.
After that, we drove to Gammie’s house to pick
up Uncle Gary’s camper van. I guess Dad had
After thought that, it was we pretty drove to much Gammie’s ready house to go, to but pick it
up was Uncle a total
Gary’s MESS
camper inside.
van. I guess Dad had
thought it was pretty much ready to go, but it
was I remember a total
MESS Dad telling inside. me that when Uncle Gary
got his first car he used to keep a bunch of
I garbage remember inside Dad so telling no one me would
that STEA
when L
Uncle it. Well,
Gary
got I think his first Uncle car Gary he used had to the keep same a idea bunch when of it
garbage came to his inside camper so no van.
one would S
TEAL
it. Well,
I think Uncle Gary had the same idea when it
32
came to his camper van.
32
39

We spent the whole afternoon cleaning it out, and
I wouldn’t have been too surprised if we’d actually
We found spent Uncle the Gary whole buried afternoon somewhere cleaning underneath it out, and all
I that wouldn’t trash.
have been too surprised if we’d actually
found Uncle Gary buried somewhere underneath all
that trash.
33
33
40

Once we got the junk out of there, we were
finally able to take a good look around the camper
Once van. I we could got the see how junk Uncle out of Gary there, was we able were to live
finally there able for to two take years, a good because look it around had ever
the ythi
camper ng
van. a person I could
see NEED
how .
Uncle Gary was able to live
in there for two years, because it had ever
ythi
ng
a There person was could a stove, NEEDa . sink, a kitchen table and
a little refrigerator. Plus, there was a bathroom
There with
a was shower a stove, in it, a and sink, some a extra kitchen space table above andthe
a cabin little for refrigerator. sleeping.
Plus, there was a bathroom
wi
th
a shower in it, and some extra space above t
he
cabin for sleeping.
We scrubbed everything down, but each time
we thought we were finished cleaning we’d find
We something scrubbed else everything Uncle Gary down, had but left each behind.
time
we thought we were finished cleaning we’d find
34
something else Uncle Gary had left behind.
34
41

And I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but
I seriously hope Uncle Gary has bought new
And underwear I don’t since mean he moved to be rude out.
or anything, but
I seriously hope Uncle Gary has bought new
underwear since he moved out.
After Gammie gave us some sandwiches to take
with us, we hit the road.
After Gammie gave us some sandwiches to take
with us, we hit the road.
35
35
42

When we started off, Dad was SUPER excited
about the camper van. He said since he could work
When anywhere we started he wanted off, now, Dad we was could SUPER live on excited the
about road until the our camper house van. was He finished, said since and he maybe could work even
anywhere LONGER
he .
wanted now, we could live on the
road until our house was finished, and maybe even
Then L
ONGER Mom . chimed in. She said we could travel
around the country and record our adventures,
Then then become Mom chimed one of in. those She said families we who could gets travel famous
around on the the Internet.
country and record our adventures,
then become one of those families who gets famous
on the Internet.
I was actually starting to get into the whole
camper lifestyle, too.
I was actually starting to get into the whole
36
camper lifestyle, too.
36
43

Mostly I just thought it was cool that I could
use the toilet while we were cruising down the
Mostly highway.
I just thought it was cool that I could
use the toilet while we were cruising down the
highway.
The only thing I didn’t like about Uncle Gary’s
camper van was that it didn’t have seat belts in
The the living only thing area, I which didn’t was like a problem about Uncle whenever Gary’s Dad
camper hit the van brakes.
was that it didn’t have seat belts in
the living area, which was a problem whenever Dad
hit the brakes.
37
37
44

When traffic slowed down, Mom let Manny sit
in the front seat so he could feel like he was
When “driving”. traffic But slowed I think down, she Mom realized let it Manny was a
sit
in mistake the front when seat he started so he could laying feel into like the he horn.
was
“driving”. But I think she realized it was a
mistake when he started laying into the horn.
It was cool being out on the open road and all,
but after a while everything started to kind of
It look was the cool same. being So me out and on the Rodrick open went road on and our
all,
but gadgets after to a pass while the everything time.
started to kind of
look the same. So me and Rodrick went on our
gadgets After an to hour pass or the so, time. Mom said we’d had enough
screen time for the day and we needed to be off
After our electronics.
an hour or so, Mom said we’d had enough
screen time for the day and we needed to be off
38
our electronics.
38
45

Usually when Mom tells us we’ve had enough
screen
time, we’ ll take a break. But as soon as she stops
Usually paying attention when Mom we’
tells get us we’ve right had back enou
on. ghAnd
s
cr
een
time, after we’ a while ll take she’
a ll break. get tired But of as fighting soon as sus he and
s
tops
paying just give attention up, which we’ is ll what get right we thought back on. would
And
after happen a today.
while she’
ll get tired of fighting us and
just give up, which is what we thought would
happen today.
It turned out Mom wasn’t messing around on this
trip. When we got back on our devices, she put
It them turned in a clear out plastic Mom wasn’t box that messing had around a timer on this top.
trip. When we got back on our devices, she put
them in a clear plastic box that had a timer on top.
39
39
46

The second I saw that thing I knew what it
was, because I’d seen the ads in one of Mom’s
The parenting second magazines.
I saw that thing I knew what it
was, because I’d seen the ads in one of Mom’s
parenting magazines.
Mom
set
the
timer
for two hours, then went back
to her seat in the
front. Whoever made that
Mo thing m se
knew t
the
what ti
me
r they for were two hours, doing, then because went me
back
and
to
heRodr
r s
eaick
t i
n coul
the
dn’t
front. figure Whoever out how made to crack that it.
thing knew what they were doing, because me
40
and
Rodr
ick
coul
dn’t
figure out how to crack it.
40
47

Mom handed us some activities she’d created for the
trip and said they should keep us busy for a while.
Mom But it handed wasn’t us that some much activities fun playing she’d created Wildlife for Bingo
the
trip when and we couldn’t said they even should identify keep half us busy the for animals a while. we
But saw along it wasn’t the that side of much the fun road.
playing Wildlife Bingo
when we couldn’t even identify half the animals we
saw along the side of the road.
After another hour or two of driving, Mom and
Dad started looking for places to stop.
After another hour or two of driving, Mom and
Dad started looking for places to stop.
41
41
48

There were some signs for “scenic attractions”,
so Dad pulled over at the exit for a place called
There Culpepper’s were some Ravine.
signs for “scenic attractions”,
so Dad pulled over at the exit for a place called
Culpepper’s Mom got all Ravine. excited because she said we were like
explorers who were about to see something new.
Mom But unfortunately got all excited some
because OTHER
she said explorers we were beat like us
explorers to it.
who were about to see something new.
But unfortunately some O
THER
explorers beat us
to it.
We couldn’t find any parking, so we had to move
along. And it was the exact same story for the
We next couldn’t three places find any we parking, tried to stop.
so we had to move
along. And it was the exact same story for the
42
next three places we tried to stop.
42
49

I know I should feel lucky to be alive at a time
when there’s modern medicine and smartwatches
I and know peanut-butter-filled I should feel lucky pretzels. to be alive But sometimes
at a when I wish there’s I was modern born a medicine little SOONER
and smartwatches so I had a
and chance peanut-butter-filled to actually DISCO
pretzels. VER something.
But sometimes
I wish I was born a little
SOONER
so I had a
chance Because to when actually you find DISCsomething O
VER
something. new they NAME
it after you.
Because when you find something new they
NAME
it after you.
But by now everything worth finding has already
been discovered.
But by now everything worth finding has already
been discovered.
43
43
50

And you wouldn’t really want your name on any of
the stuff that’s left over.
And you wouldn’t really want your name on any of
the stuff that’s left over.
One time the planetarium in our town had a
fundraiser,
and
if you paid ten bucks you’d get
One a cert
time ificat
the e th
planetarium at said a planet in our town in some had faraway
a
galaxy fu
ndra
iswas er,
named and
if after you paid you. ten So bucks Mom paid you’d the geten
bu a ck ce
rt s, if
an ic
at d e I
thst
at ill said have a the planet certificate
in some hanging faraway on
galaxy the wall was in named my bedroom.
after you. So Mom paid the ten
bu
ck
s,
an
d I
st
il
l have the certificate
hanging on
the wall in my bedroom.
44
44
51

But when Mom filled out the form I wish she’d
put my first AND last name on it. Because now
But some when random Mom Greg filled could out get the to form my I planet wish she’d before
put I do my and first say AND it’s HIS
last .
name on it. Because now
some random Greg could get to my planet before
I do and say it’s
HIS.
Dad said our mistake was that we were going
to places everyone knew about, and if we got
Dad off the said main our road mistake we was might that find we something
were going
to SPE
places CIAL
everyone .
knew about, and if we got
off the main road we might find something
SPE So we CIAL took . a detour and kept our eyes peeled
for anything that looked like it was worth
So stopping we took for.
a detour and kept our eyes peeled
for anything that looked like it was worth
stopping for.
45
45
52

And, sure enough, after we took a few more
turns, we found a crystal-clear lake with nobody
And, else in
sure SIGHT
enough, .
after we took a few more
turns, we found a crystal-clear lake with nobody
else in
SIGHT
.
The air-conditioning in Uncle Gary’s camper van
wasn’t working, and everyone was ready to cool
The off. So air-conditioning we got into our in Uncle swimming Gary’s gear camper and took van a
wasn’t dip in the working, lake.
and everyone was ready to cool
off. So we got into our swimming gear and took a
dip in the lake.
46
46
53

It took a second before I realized something
wasn’t RIGHT. I noticed a million shimmering
It objects took just a second beneath before the I surface, realized and something my mind
wasn’t went right RIGHT to
. PIRANHA
I noticed S
a . million I’m pretty shimmering sure
objects everyone
just ELSE
beneath ’ S did, the too.
surface, and my mind
went right to
PIRANHAS
. I’m pretty sure
everyone
ELSE’
S
did, too.
I was almost at the shore when I felt a bunch
of tiny mouths
NIBBLING
me.
I was almost at the shore when I felt a bunch
of tiny mouths
NIB
BLING
me.
47
47
54

I thought I was being eaten ALIVE. And
by the time I made it out of the water I was
I surprised thought to I be was in one being piece.
eaten
ALIVE
. And
by the time I made it out of the water I was
surprised Or ALMO
to ST
be in in one one piece. I had a scab on my
knee when I got into the water, but by the time
Or I got ALMO out Sit Twas in one totally piece. picked
I had CLEAN
a scab .
on my
knee when I got into the water, but by the time
I got out it was totally picked
CLEAN.
Just then a truck pulled up, and the two guys
inside looked
angry.
Just then a truck pulled up, and the two guys
inside looked
angry.
48
48
55

That’s when we found out the lake we were
swimming in was a FISH
HAT
CHERY.
That’s when we found out the lake we were
swimming in was a
FISH
HAT
CHERY
.
I think those guys were about to call the cops
on us for TRESPASSING, and we didn’t wanna
I stick think around those to guys find were out. So about we to piled call into the the
cops
on camper us for van TRE and SP Dad ASSING stepped , and on the we didn’t gas.
wanna
stick around to find out. So we piled into the
camper van and Dad stepped on the gas.
49
49
56

The next time Mom makes fish for dinner, I’m
definitely gonna check the package to see where
The they next came time from Mom first.
makes fish for dinner, I’m
definitely gonna check the package to see where
they The crazy came from thing first. is, the fish hatchery wasn’t the
LAST
place we got chased away from today. We
The tried crazy parking thing the is, camper the fish van hatchery in a meadow wasn’t so we
the
LAS could Tget place out we and got enjoy chased the away view from while today. we ate, We but
tried it turned parking out to the be camper somebody’s
van in FARM
a meadow .
so we
could get out and enjoy the view while we ate, but
it turned out to be somebody’s F
ARM.
We finally found a field that didn’t look like it
belonged to anyone, so that’s where we stopped
We for finally the night.
found a field that didn’t look like it
belonged to anyone, so that’s where we stopped
50
for the night.
50
57

The sleeping situation wasn’t great. The kitchen
table converted into a BED, which is where Mom
The and Dad sleeping slept.
situation wasn’t great. The kitchen
table converted into a
BED
, which is where Mom
and Dad slept.
I wasn’t crazy about the idea of eating breakfast
off the spot where Dad slept in his boxer shorts.
I wasn’t crazy about the idea of eating breakfast
off I had the to spot share where the Dad loft slept above in the his cabin
boxer with
shorts.
Rodrick, which wasn’t much of an improvement on
I our had deal to in share Gramma’s the loft basement.
above the cabin
with
Rodrick, which wasn’t much of an improvement on
our deal in Gramma’s basement.
51
51
58

The only person who had any space to himself was
Manny. He’d turned one of the cabinets in the
The kitchenette only person into a who little had apartment, any space and to himself his set-up
was
Mann was actually y. He’d pretty
turned SWEET
one of the .
cabinets in the
kitchenette into a little apartment, and his set-up
was actually pretty
SWEET.
While Mom and Dad were getting ready for bed,
I found out a major downside of the camper van.
While The bathroom Mom and walls Dad were paper getting thin, ready and for with
bed,
I the found engine out off a myou a
jor could downside hear EVER
of the YTHING
camper van.
The happening bathroom in there. walls were And, paper trust thin, me, no and kid with wants
the to hear engine his off mother’s you could bathroom hear
EVER noises.
YTHING
happening in there. And, trust me, no kid wants
to hear his mother’s bathroom noises.
52
52
59

Thursday
It turns out the place we stopped for the night
Thursday was a public park. Little League practice started
It first turns thing out in the place morning, we stopped and we were for the parked
night
was right a over public the park. pitcher’s Little mound.
League practice started
first thing in the morning, and we were parked
right over the pitcher’s mound.
Luckily, we were able to take off before some
kid
broke a tail light with a direct hit.
Luckily, we were able to take off before some
kid
broke Mom said a tail she light didn’t with want a direct a repeat hit. of yesterday
and asked everyone to think of something we could
Mom do that said was she guaranteed
didn’t want FUN
a repeat . And of that’s yesterday when
and I remembered asked everyone a billboard to think I saw of something the day before.
we could
do that was guaranteed
FUN
. And that’s when
I remembered a billboard I saw the day before. 53
53
60

The billboard was for this place called the Family
Adventure Centre. Usually, whenever the word
The “family” billboard is part was of for something, this place it’s called a warning the Fato
mi
ly
Adventure stay away. But Centre. the pictures Usually, on whenever the sign the made word
me
“family” think this part place of could something, be DIFFERENT
it’s a warning .
to
stay away. But the pictures on the sign made me
think this place could be
DIFFERENT.
We had to backtrack about two hours to find the
adventure centre, but it didn’t really matter since
We we weren’t had to really backtrack headed about anywhere two hours to begin to find with.
the
adventure centre, but it didn’t really matter since
we I have weren’t to really say, this headed place anywhere was pretty to begin cool. with. There
were a million activities, and I wanted to do them
I AL
have L.
to say, this place was pretty cool. There
were a million activities, and I wanted to do them
54
ALL.
54
61

But everything had an age and height requirement,
and Manny wasn’t tall enough to do any GOOD
But activities.
everything had an age and height requirement,
and Manny wasn’t tall enough to do any
GOOD
activities.
The only activity Manny was big enough for was
the Fun Float, where you drifted down the river in
The inner only tubes. activity So that’s Manny what was Mom big enou signed gh fus or up w
asfor.
the Fun F
loat, where you drifted down the river in
inner tubes. So that’s what Mom signed us up for.
55
55
62

I really wanted to do something more exciting,
like rock climbing, but Mom was dead set on us all
I doing really something wanted as to a do family.
something more exciting,
like rock climbing, but Mom was dead
set
on
us a
ll
doing Mom said something the Fun as Float a family. would be RELAXING,
and after we put on our life jackets we grabbed
Mom the cooler said the and Fun a few Float other would things be
RELAXING from the ,
and camper after van we to put take on with our life us on jackets the river.
we grabbed
the cooler and a few other things from the
camper van to take with us on the river.
After our experience with the fish farm yesterday,
I wasn’t crazy about getting into the water
After again.
But our experience there were with a bunch the of fish other farm people
yesterday,
I doing wasn’t the crazy Fun Float, about too, getting and into I figured the water if there
ag
were ai
n. any But piranhas there were in the a bunch river they’d of other go people for THEM
doing before they’d Fun go Float, for ME
too, .
and I figured if there
were any piranhas in the river they’d go for
THEM
56
before they’d go for
ME.
56
63

I have to admit that once we got going it
WAS
kind of relaxing. Maybe even a little TOO
I relaxing. have to Rodrick admit that fell asleep, once we while got Dad going answered
it
WA work Semails kind of and relaxing. Mom checked Maybe in even with a Manny’s
little
TOO
relaxing. doctor.
Rodrick fell asleep, while Dad answered
work emails and Mom checked in with Manny’s
doctor.
57
57
64

So no one was really paying attention when we
hit
a shallow part in the river and came to a
So complete
no one STOP
was really . We paying had to attention take our tubes when out
we
of hit
the a shallow water, part and in it wasn’t the river fun and walking came across to a a
complete bunch of STOP sharp rocks . We had in our to bare take feet.
our tubes out
of the water, and it wasn’t fun walking across a
bunch of sharp rocks in our bare feet.
Once the river got deeper, we put the tubes
back in the water. But my inner tube must’ve got
Once punctured the river in the got shallow deeper, part, we put becaus
the e it
tubes was losing
back air. So in I the took water. Manny’s But my tube, inner and tube we must’ve emptied got the
punctured ice out of the in the cooler shallow so he part, could beuse
causTHA
e it T
was .
los
ing
air. So I took Manny’s tube, and we emptied the
ice out of the cooler so he could use
THAT
.
58
58
65

I thought the trip was gonna take twenty
minutes, but it had already been two HOURS,
I with thought no end the in sight. trip was And gonna we really take slowed twenty down
minutes, when we got but stuck it had behind already a big been group two
HOURS of people,
with jamming no end up the in sight. river.
And we really slowed down
when we got stuck behind a big group of people
jamming up the river.
I hit a warm spot in the water, and I’ve been in
enough baby pools to know what THAT
meant. So
I when hit the a warm river spot got wider in the I water, paddled and my I’ve tube been around
in
enough those guys baby to pools try to know get out what of THA their Twake.
meant. So
when the river got wider I paddled my tube arou
nd
those guys to try to get out of their wake.
59
59
66

Unfortunately, I went a little too far and ended
up in a part of the river where the water was
Unfortunately, really rough. I And went a few a little seconds too far later and I ended got
up tossed in a from part my of inner the river tube.
where the water was
really
rough
. And a few seconds later I got
tossed from my inner tube.
It was actually pretty SCARY. The water was
moving fast, so I pointed my feet downstream to
It make
was sure actually I didn’t pretty crack SCAR my head Y
. The open water on a was rock.
moving fast, so I pointed my feet downstream to
ma
ke
sure I didn’t crack my head open on a rock.
I called out for HELP, but the people around me
had their music up too loud to even notice.
I called out for
HELP
, but the people around me
60
had their music up too loud to even notice.
60
67

My family tried to save me, but it turns out
they’re totally useless in an emergency.
My family tried to save me, but it turns out
they’re totally useless in an emergency.
61
61
68

Up ahead, people were pulling their inner tubes
out of the river in the landing area, so I tried
Up to paddle ahead, myself people over were there.
pulling their inner tubes
out of the river in the landing area, so I tried
to paddle myself over there.
But the water was moving too fast, and I was
getting pulled downstream. My family got out
But of the the river, water and was Dad moving was too yelling fast, and and pointing
I was
getting at something pulled near downstream. me. That’s My when family I got saw out a
of big the branch river, hanging and Dad out was over yelling the water, and pointing and I
at grabbed something it.
near me. That’s when I saw a
big branch hanging out over the water, and I
grabbed it.
62
62
69

For a second I thought everything was going to be
OK. Then I noticed something drifting away from
For me and a second realized I it thought was my
everything swimming was going shorts
to be.
OK
. Then I noticed something drifting away from
me and realized it was my
swimming shorts
.
A lifeguard from the adventure centre started
wading out towards me with a float. And I knew
A if I lifeguard just kept from hanging the adventure on to that centre branch started she’d
wading RESCUE
out me.
towards me with a float. And I knew
if I just kept hanging on to that branch she’d
RESCUE
me.
But all I could think of were the people in the
landing area who were about to see me without
But my swimming all I could shorts. think And of were Rodrick the was people already
in the
landing recording area me who with were his phone.
about to see me without
my swimming shorts. And Rodrick was already
recording me with his phone.
63
63
70

So I decided the best move was to let GO and
take my chances.
So I decided the best move was to let
take my chances.
GO
and
Luckily, the water wasn’t as rocky downstream,
but it was still moving fast. By the time I was
Luckily, able to drag the water myself wasn’t on to as the rocky shore, downstream, I must’ve
but been it a was quarter still of moving a mile fast. from By the the landing time I area.
was
able And to I drag never myself did find on my to swimming the shore, shorts, I must’ve but
been thankfully a quarter I found of a the
mile from COOLER
the landing .
area.
And I never did find my swimming shorts, but
thankfully I found the
COOLER.
64
64
71

Friday
Last night everyone in my family agreed that our
Friday trip was off to a pretty terrible start. But we
Last couldn’t night decide everyone what to in my do NEXT
family .
agreed that our
trip was off to a pretty terrible start. But we
couldn’t I thought decide we what should to just do admit NEXTthis . trip was a
MISTAKE
and go back to Gramma’s. But Dad
I said thought we couldn’t we should turn round just admit now because this trip we was hadn’t
a
MIS done Tany AKEactual
and go CAMPING
back to Gramma’s. yet.
But Dad
said we couldn’t turn round now because we hadn’t
done Dad said any there actual was CAMPING a national yet. forest a few hours
away, and if we camped there we could stay in one
Dad place said for there rest was of a national the trip forest and relax a few for hours a
away, change.
and if we camped there we could stay in one
place for the rest of the trip and relax for a
change.
65
65
72

I wasn’t crazy about going off on our own, but I
knew how the rest of the summer was gonna play
I out wasn’t if we went crazy back about to going Gramma’s off on basement our own, now.
but I
knew how the rest of the summer was gonna play
out if we went back to Gramma’s basement now.
I didn’t feel great about camping in the wilderne
ss,
but Dad said, if we got into any trouble, there
I were didn’t rangers feel who great could about help camping us out. in And the that wild
ermade
ne
ss,
but me feel Dad a said, little if better.
we got into any trouble, there
were rangers who could help us out. And that made
me So feel we spent a little the better. night in the car park of the
adventure centre, and first thing in the morning
So we headed we spent for the the night national in the forest.
car park of the
adventure centre, and first thing in the morning
66
we headed for the national forest.
66
73

The ranger at the entrance told us it hadn’t
rained in a few weeks, so the risk of fire was really
The high.
ranger Then at she the gave entrance Dad a map told and us it a hadn’t pamphlet
rained with tips in a on few how weeks, to camp so the responsibly.
risk of fire was really
high
.
Then she gave Dad a map and a pamphlet
with tips on how to camp responsibly.
The forest was big, so it took a while for us to
get to our pitch. And we didn’t see a single human
The being forest on our was way big, in.
so it took a while for us to
get to our pitch. And we didn’t see a single human
being The pitch on our was way actually in. really nice. There was a
lot of space for the camper van, and we were
The right pitch next was to a actually little stream. really nice. After There we set was up a our
lot hamm
of oc
space k and
for chai
the rs, camper we kicked van, back and and we enjoyed
were
right being out next in to na
a tur
little e.
stream. After we set up our
ha
mmoc
k
and
ch
airs
, we kicked back and enjoyed
being out in na
ture.
67
67
74

At least MOST
of us did. After a few minutes,
Mom asked what our “plan” was, and Dad said this
At WAS
least the MOS plan. T
of us did. After a few minutes,
Mom asked what our “plan” was, and Dad said this
WAS
the plan.
Mom said we couldn’t just sit around all day, and
we needed to do something ACTIVE
like go on a
Mom nature said hike we or couldn’t something.
just sit around all day, and
we needed to do something AC
TIVE
like go on a
nature But that hike sounded or something. like a lot of work to us guys,
especially after a long drive. So Mom said if we
But were that all gonna sounded laze like around a lot she of was work gonna to us put guys, our
especially electronics after in the a long Vault drive. for the So rest Mom of said the if trip.
we
were And all that gonna was enough laze around to get she us was moving.
gonna put our
electronics in the Vault for the rest of the trip.
68
And that was enough to get us moving.
68
75

Mom pulled out the map and found a trail that
was nearby. And before we headed off on the
Mom hike, pulled she told out everyone the map to and fill found up our a trail flasks that and
was put nearby. on bug spray. And before But I we was headed a lot off more on worried
the
hike, about
she BEARS
told everyone than bugs.
to fill up our flasks and
put on bug spray. But I was a lot more worried
about I remembered BEARS that than the bugs. guy at the camping store
said if you saw a bear out in nature the best thing
I you remembered could do was that make the noise guy to at scare the camping it away.
store
said if you saw a bear out in nature the best thing
you Luckily, could Uncle do was Gary make left noise some to pots scare and it away. pans
under the sink in the camper van. But I wasn’t
Luckily, gonna wait Uncle until Gary we SPO
left TTED
some pots a bear and to pans start
under making the a racket.
sink in the camper van. But I wasn’t
gonna wait until we
SPO
TTED
a bear to start
making a racket.
69
69
76

Everyone got annoyed with me pretty quick, and
Mom told me I needed to take the cookware back
Everyone to the camper got annoyed van.
with me pretty quick, and
Mom told me I needed to take the cookware back
to the camper van.
She said I could catch up with them further down
the trail, and I was actually fine with that,
She because said that I could stuff catch was pretty up with heavy, them further anyway. down Plus,
the I wa
trai s star
l, ating
nd I to was wonder actually if the fine noise with might
t
ha
t,
because actually
that ATTRA
stuff CT
was bears, pretty because heavy, whenever anyway. I
P
lu
s,
I hear wapots s
starand tingpans to wonder I’m thinking
if the DINNER
noise might .
actually A
TTRACT
bears, because whenever I
hear After pots I put and the pans cookware I’m thinking back in DINNER the camper .
van, I turned round and got back on the trail.
After I thought I put if the I hurried cookware it might back in take the me camper ten
van, minutes I to turned reconnect round with and got everyone. back on But the then trail. I
I ran thought into a PR
if OBLEM
I hurried .
it might take me ten
minutes to reconnect with everyone. But then I
70
ran into a
PR
OBLEM.
70
77

The trail SPLIT, and I didn’t know which way
my family went.
The trail
SPLIT
, and I didn’t know which way
my family went.
I figured the odds were 50-50, so I headed
LEFT. But I walked for a long time without
I finding figured them the and odds figured were 50-50, I must’ve so picked I headed the
LEFT wrong . path. But I So walked I went for back a long to the time place without where
finding the fork them in the and trail figured was, I and must’ve that’s picked where the I hit
wrong ANOT
path. HER snag.
So I went back to the place where
the fork in the trail was, and that’s where I hit
ANO I was T
HER all turned snag. round and couldn’t remember
which path was the one I hadn’t taken yet and
I which was one all turned led back round to the and camper couldn’t van. remember And I
which couldn’t path tell was which the was one which I hadn’t because, taken to me, yet every
and
which tree and one rock led back looked to the
S
camper AME.
van. And I
couldn’t tell which was which because, to me, every
tree and rock looked the
S
AME
.
71
71
78

That’s when I started to get WORRIED. I
remembered the guy at the camping store saying
That’s that sometimes when I bears started will to use get human W
ORRIED trails because
. I
remembered it’s easier than the walking guy at the through camping the store brush. saying So I
that really sometimes didn’t feel bears good will about use hanging human trails out in because the
it’s middle easier of than INTERSE
walking through CTION.
the brush. So I
really didn’t feel good about hanging out in the
middle I’ve read of an that INTERSE a bear’s sense C
TION of . smell is a thousand
times better than a human’s. So, when I pulled
out I’ve the read container that a bear’s of lip sense balm I of had smell in is my a thousand pocket,
times I practically better than started a human’s. hyperventilating.
So, when I pulled
out the container of l
ip balm I had in my pocket,
I practically started hyperventilating.
I decided to get off the trail, which turned out
to be a dumb move. Because once I was off the
I path decided I couldn’t to get find off my the way
trail, BA
which CK.
turned out
to be a dumb move. Because once I was off the
path My mind I couldn’t started find racing, my way and BA I CK thought . about
what would happen if I was lost for GOOD.
My mind started racing, and I thought ab
out
72
what would happen if I was lost for
GOOD
.
72
79

I’ve read stories about human beings who got cut
off from civilization and were raised by WOLVES
.
I’ve I didn’t read know stories if about there human were any beings wolves who in got this
cut
off forest, from but civilization there were and plenty were raised of squirrels
by
W
OL
VES.
.
I didn’t know if there were any wolves in this
forest, but there were plenty of
squirrels.
Luckily, my family found me before things could
get too crazy. Because in another hour or two I
Luckily, might’ve my been family too far found gone.
me before things could
get too crazy. Because in another hour or two I
might’ve been too far gone.
73
73
80

When we got back to camp, Mom asked Rodrick to
check me for ticks, since I’d been off the trail.
When He looked we got me over back and to camp, told me Mom I asked had a
Rodrick HUGE
to
check tick right me for in the ticks, middle since of I’d my been back.
off the trail.
He looked me over and told me I had a
H
UGE
tick right in the middle of my back.
Rodrick said the tick must’ve been on me for
a while,
because it looked like it was about to
Rodrick BURST. said And the I tick almost must’ve passed been out on when me for he
a showed while,
me because the picture it looked he like took it on was his about phone.
to
BURST
. And I almost passed out when he
showed me the picture he took on his phone.
74
74
81

It turns out it was just a JOKE, and the
picture was something Rodrick found online. But,
It even turns after out I KNEW
it was just it was a
JOKE a joke, , and I still thefelt
picture like something was something was the Rodrick middle found of my online. back for
But,
even the rest after of I the KNEW day.
it was a joke, I still felt
like something was in the middle of my back for
the Mom rest said of everyone the day. should take a shower, since it
had been two days and we were starting to stink.
Mom Rodrick said went everyone first, should and he take was a in shower, there for since at
it
had least been half two an hour. days and So, when we were it was starting my turn,
to stink.
Rodrick there was went no hot first, water and left.
he was in there for at
least half an hour. So, when it was my turn,
there was no hot water left.
Dad checked the propane tank and said it was
empty, which meant it was cold showers from
Dad now on. checked No one the was propane happy tank about and that, said especially
it was
empty, MOM.
which meant it was cold showers from
now on. No one was happy about that, especially
MOM
.
75
75
82

I noticed it was really starting to SMELL in
the bathroom, so I told Dad. He said the reason
I it stank noticed was it was because really we starting hadn’t emptied to
SMELL out the
in
the sewage bathroom, tank yet.
so I told Dad. He said the reas
on
it stank was because we hadn’t emptied out the
sewage tank yet.
To be honest with you, I didn’t even THINK
about what happened to our waste in there.
To be honest with you, I didn’t even
THINK
about Back home, what happened when you f
to lush our the waste toilet, in there. everything
gets magically whisked away to some faraway
Back pl
e.
home, But in when a ca
you mper
f
lush van the you’re toilet, actually
everything carrying
gets that magically stuff around
whisked WITH
away you.
to some faraway
plac
e.
Bu
t i
n a
ca
mper
va
n you’re actually
carrying
that If I stuff had known around that WITH beforehand, you. I’m not sure
I would’ve agreed to go on this trip.
If I had known that beforehand, I’m not sure
76
I would’ve agreed to go on this trip.
76
83

Now I was starting to worry about what
happened if the tank OVERFLOWED
. So today,
Now whenever I was someone starting looked to worry like they about needed whatto go
happened number two, if the I’d tank try to O
VERFL talk them OWED into . taking So today, it
whenever somewhere
someone ELSE.
looked like they needed to go
number two, I’d try to talk them into taking it
somewhere
ELSE.
77
77
84

I guess I should be grateful we live in a time
when toilets even EXIST. Rodrick told me that
I the guess guy who I should invented be grateful the flushing we live toilet in a was
time
when named toilets Thomas even Crapper. EXISTAnd . Rodrick I don’t told know me that if
the that’s guy true who or invented if it’s another f
lushing one of toilet his jokes.
was
named Thomas Crapper. And I don’t know if
that’s If it’s
true TRUE
or , if I it’s hope another that one guy of made his jokes. a ton of
money. Because I wouldn’t want a body function
If named it’s after
TR
UEME
, I .
hope that guy made a ton of
money. Because I wouldn’t want a body func
tion
named after
ME.
Dad got a fire going and cooked some beef stew.
He was gonna serve baked beans to go with it,
Dad but Rodrick got a fire left going the can and too cooked close some to the beef fire,
stew.
He and was that gonna was the serve end baked of THA
beans T.
to go with it,
but Rodrick left the can too close to the fire,
78
and that was the end of
THAT
.
78
85

After dinner, we tied up our trash and hoisted it
in a tree with a rope, like the guy at the camping
After store told dinner, us to. we I tied figured up our if trash any bear and was hoisted smart
it
in enough a tree to with get a at rope, our trash, like the then guy they at the deserved
camping
store have told it.
us to. I figured if any bear was smart
enough to get at our trash, then they deserved
to have it.
79
79
86

By now it was dark out, and Mom said we should
turn in for the night. But Dad said the best part
By of camping now it was dark sitting out, round and Mom the campfire said we should under
turn the stars.
in fo
r the
nigh
t. But Dad said the best part
of camping was sitting round the campfire under
the That stars. got Mom all EXCITED and she tried to get
us to join in on a song that she said she learned
That summer got Mom camp all when EXCITED she was and a kid. she But tried the to rest
get
us of to us aren’t join in real on a big song that sing-alongs, she said so she we learned just
at waited summer for camp Mom to when wrap she it was up.
a kid. But the rest
of us aren’t real big on sing-alongs, so we just
waited for Mom to wrap it up.
After that, Dad brought out some marshmallows,
and we found some long sticks.
After that, Dad brought out some marshmallows,
80
and we found some long sticks.
80
87

While we were roasting our marshmallows over the
fire, Dad got all serious. He told us that a long
While time ago we were he went roasting camping our with marshmallows his dad, over and
the
fire, they’d Dad met got a crusty all serious. old ranger He told who us told that them a longa
time crazy ago story.
he went camping with his dad, and
they’d met a crusty old ranger who told them a
crazy story.
The ranger said he used to have a beagle named
Matilda, and she’d follow him wherever he’d go.
The But then ranger this said one he night used to the have ranger a beagle made named a
Matilda, FIRE, and and he she’d saw follow a weird him creature wherever with he’d glowing
go.
But red eyes then prowling this one around night the ranger edge of made the camp.
a
FIRE
, and he saw a weird creature with glowing
red eyes prowling around the edge of the camp.
81
81
88

Matilda chased after the creature, and the ranger
tracked her deep into the woods. But the only
Matilda trace
of
chased the
dog
after was the her creature, broken collar and lying the ranger on the
tracked ground.
her deep into the woods. But the
only
tr
ace
of t
he dog
was her broken collar lying on the
ground.
Dad said that every night the ranger would sleep
in his cabin alone, hoping Matilda would find her
Dad way back said that to him. every And night on nights the ranger just like would tonight,
sleep
in when his there cabin alone, was a crescent hoping Matilda moon, he’d would hear find the
her
way howl back of a to beagle him. deep And in on the nights woods.
just like tonight,
when there was a crescent moon, he’d hear the
howl of a beagle deep in the woods.
82
82
89

Mom wasn’t happy with Dad for telling that story
because Manny seemed really shook up. And, to be
Mom honest, wasn’t I was happy a little with spooked, Dad for too.
telling that story
because Manny seemed really shook up. And,
to
be
honest, Then I I heard was a little sound spooked, coming from too. deep in the
woods that made my heart STO
P.
Then I heard a sound coming from deep in the
woods that made my heart
STO
P.
For a split second I thought it was the ghost of
Matilda. But then I realized Rodrick was missing,
For and a the split whole second thing I thought was one big it was joke the Dad ghost and
of
Matilda. Rodrick were But then playing I realized on the rest Rodrick of us.
was missing,
and the whole thing was one big joke Dad and
Rodrick were playing on the rest of us.
83
83
90

But it kind of BACKFIRED. Because, when
Rodrick howled, Manny JUMPED. And that’s
But how Dad it kind ended of
BA up CKFIRED with a flam
. ing Because, marshmallow
when
Rodrick stuck to howled, his knee.
Manny
JUMPED
. And that’s
how Dad ended up with a f
lam
ing marshmallow
stuck to his knee.
I think Dad was about to dive in the stream to
put out the fire, but luckily Rodrick remembered
I wher
think e we Dad kept was the about fire extinguisher.
to dive the stream to
put
out
the
fire
, but luckily Rodrick remembered
wher
e we kept the fire extinguisher.
84
84
91

Mom started giving Dad a lecture about why you
should never scare people, but she got cut off by
Mom weird started noises coming giving from Dad the a lecture forest. about At first why you I
should thought never it might scare be people, another
but JOKE
she got , but cut the off look
by
weird in Dad’s noises and coming Rodrick’s from eyes the told forest. me it
At W
first ASN
I’
T.
thought it might be another
JOKE
, but the look
in Dad’s and Rodrick’s eyes told me it W
ASN’
T.
Whatever was out there sounded BIG and was
coming our way. So we piled into the camper van
Whatever and locked was the out door there behind sounded us.
BIG
and was
coming our way. So we piled into the camper van
and locked the door behind us.
85
85
92

Sure enough, it was a BEAR. But it wasn’t after
our trash, it was after the BAKED
BEANS.
Sure enough, it was a
BEAR
. But it wasn’t after
our trash, it was after the
BA
KED
BEANS.
Once the bear was done licking the beans off the
camper van, it wanted MORE. And I wish I
Once could say the we bear stayed was done calm, licking but I’d the be beans lying.
off the
camper van, it wanted
MORE
. And I wish I
could say we stayed calm, but I’d be lying.
86
86
93

Dad climbed into the driver’s seat to get us OUT
of there, but the keys were by the fire. And
Dad when climbed the bear into started the driver’s rocking seat the to camper get us van, OUT I
of thought there, it but was
the OVER
keys for were us.
by the fire. And
when the bear started rocking the camper van, I
thought I guess Manny it was Odid, VERtoo, for because us. he managed to
scramble
out of a window and get up on the ROOF.
I And guess he took Manny the did, flare too, gun
because WITH
he him.
managed to
scramble
out of a window and get up on the R
OOF.
And he took the f
lare gun
WITH
him.
87
87
94

Saturday
Last night, the light from the flare scared off
Saturday the bear, so when the ranger arrived at our
Last pitch, night, we didn’t the really l
ight from need to the be
f
lare RESCUED
scared off
the any bear, more.
so By when then, the our ranger biggest arrived problem at was our the
pitch, marshmallow we didn’t burn really on Dad’s need knee.
to be
RESCUED
any m
ore.
By th
en, o
ur biggest problem was the
marshmallow burn on Dad’s knee.
The ranger said it was totally reckless for us to
shoot off that flare, because it could’ve started a
The forest
ranger fire.
Then said it she was said totally we were reckless gonna for have us to to
shoo leave t the of
f park that first lare, thing because in it the could’ve morning.
started a
fo
rest
fir
e.
Then she said we were gonna have to
leave Well, the that park was first fine with
thing ME
in . the We morning. lasted one night
in the wilderness, and I didn’t think we could
Well, survive
that ANO
was THER
fine .
with
ME
. We lasted one night
in the wilderness, and I didn’t think we could
88
survive
ANO
THER.
88
95

When we left the park this morning, I was really
looking forward to getting back to Gramma’s
When baseme
we nt.
left I kn
the ew
park we’d have this morning, plenty of I hot was water
really
looking and no
forward BEARS.
to getting back to Gramma’s
base
me
nt.
I
knew
we’d have plenty of hot water
and But no Mom BEARS wasn’t . ready to go back home just yet.
She said the reason we had a bad time camping
But was because Mom wasn’t we were ready too
to ISOLA
go back TED
home , and just if yet. we
She went said to a the place reason where we there had a were bad other
time camping PEOPLE
was we’d because have more we were fun.
too
ISOLA
TED
, and if we
went to a place where there were other
PE
OPLE
we’d Mom have told more us she’d fun. heard of these campsites where
they have all sorts of activities for families, and
Mom everything told us you she’d need heard is in of one these place.
campsites where
they have all sorts of activities for families, and
everything you need is in one place.
89
89
96

Then
she
started looking up nearby campsites and
found one that had potential.
Then
she
started looking up nearby campsites and
found one that had potential.
What caught my eye was the word “luxury”. After
getting a taste of “real” camping, I was ready for
What something caught a little my eye more
was UPmarket
the word “luxury”. .
After
getting a taste of “real” camping, I wa
s re
ady for
90
something a little more
UPmarket.
90
97

I knew from Sunday school that “Eden” was
another
word
for
paradise, so that sounded
I promising.
knew from Sunday school that “Eden” was
an
ot
her
wo
rd
for
paradise, so that sounded
promising. The way I remember it, Adam and Eve got kicked
out of the Garden of Eden because one of them
The was tempted way I remember to eat an it, apple Adam from and a Eve forbidden got kicked tree.
out of the Garden of E
den because one of them
was If it tempted was ME
to , eat I wouldn’t an apple have from given a forbidden up paradise
tree.
for a piece of fruit. It would’ve had to have been
If for it something
was
ME
, GOOD
I wouldn’t , like cake
have given .
up paradise
for a piece of fruit. It would’ve had to have been
for something
GOOD
, like
cake.
91
91
98

It took us most of the day to get to Campers’
Eden. But, when we crossed the bridge and got
It our first took look us most at the of the place, day I to could get see to Campers’ why they
Eden. named it But, the when way they we crossed did.
the bridge and got
our first look at the place, I could see why they
named it the way they did.
92
92
99

We pulled up to the lodge and went inside, where
a member of staff told us about all the awesome
We stuff pulled they up had to at the the lodge campsite, and went like inside, a games where room
a and member a pool of and staff sandpits, told us plus about a lake all the with awesome canoes
stuff and kayaks.
they had at the campsite, like a games room
and a pool and sandpits, plus a lake with canoes
and kayaks.
There was also a shower block where you could
take a hot shower, which was the thing MOM
There was most was excited also a about.
shower block where you could
take a hot shower, which was the thing
MOM
was What most I liked excited was about. that each pitch had its own
sewer hook-up. The inside of our camper van was
What starting I to liked smell was like that a monkey each pitch house, had and its I ownwas
sewer really hook-up. looking forward The inside to our of our sewage camper tank van getting
was
starting flushed out.
to smell like a monkey house, and I was
really looking forward to our sewage tank getting
f
lushed out.
93
93
100

Mom told the member of staff we’d like a pitch
with a lake view. But the woman told Mom that
Mom people told booked the member those W
of AY
staff ahead we’d of time, like a and pitchthat
with the only a lake spots view. left But were the in woman the economy told Mom lot.
that
people booked those
W
AY
ahead of time, and that
the only spots left were in the economy lot.
I guess Mom was focused on that hot shower,
so she said we’d take whatever they HAD. And,
I after guess we Mom paid was up for focused the week, on that we drove hot shower, our
so camper she said van we’d down take the whatever hill to find they our Hpitch.
AD
. And,
after we paid up for the week, we drove our
camper The further van down the the hill hill to we find went, our the pitch. smaller
the pitches got. And when we found our spot
The Dad further could barely down fit the the hill camper we went, van the on to smaller the
the concrete pitches pad.
got. And when we found our spot
Dad could barely fit the camper van on to the
94
concrete pad.
94
101

After we parked, Mom unloaded the camping
chairs while Dad tried to figure out how to flush
After the sewage we parked, tank. I Mom wanted unloaded to be the as camping far away as
chairs possible while when Dad he got
tried THA
to figure T process out started
how to ,
f
lush so
the I told sewage Mom tank. and Dad I wanted I was to gonna be as go far off away and
as
possible explore the when campsite.
he got
THAT
process started,
so
I told Mom and Dad I was gonna go off and
explore the campsite.
95
95
102

I wanted to check out the games room, so that’s
where I went first. There were a few arcade
I machines wanted in to there, check but out nothing the games I was room, really
so that’s
where interested I went in playing.
first. There were a few arcade
machines in there, but nothing I was really
interested in playing.
They had a pool table, but from what I could tell
it didn’t have any actual
BALLS.
They had a pool table, but from what I could tell
it didn’t have any actual
BA
LLS.
96
96
103

I checked out the swimming pool next, and that
was kind of a disappointment, too. It was full of
I little checked kids, out and their swimming parents pool weren’t next, even and keeping
that
was an eye kind on of them.
a disappointment, too. It was full of
little kids, and their parents weren’t even keeping
an eye on them.
Nowadays, kids wear these floaty vests, so they
don’t even have to learn how to swim. It’s not
Nowadays, like when I kids was wear growing these up, f
loaty when vests, you had so to
they
don’t learn the
even HARD
have to way.
learn how to swim. It’s not
like when I was growing up, when you had to
learn the
HARD
way.
97
97
104

Some of the little kids drifted out into the deep
end, which was a problem because people were doing
Some cannonballs of the off little the kids high drifted board.
out into the deep
end, which was a problem because people were doing
cannonballs off the high board.
98
98
105

There was no lifeguard on duty, so everyone was
pretty much doing whatever they
WANTED
.
There was no lifeguard on duty, so everyone was
pretty much doing whatever they
W
ANTED
.
I didn’t really feel safe going in the pool, so I
decided to relax in the hot tub instead. But that’s
I when didn’t I found really out feel that safe this going place in the wasn’t pool, joking
so I
decided around about to relax the in “pet-friendly” the hot tub instead. thing.
But that’s
when I found out that this place wasn’t joking
around about the “pet-friendly” thing.
99
99
106

There was a snack shack in the pool area, and the
laundrette and shower block were close by.
There was a snack shack in the pool area, and the
laundrette I wanted to and kill shower a little block more were time close before by. I went
back to our camper van in case Dad wasn’t done
I emptying wanted out to the kill a sewage little more tank. time So I before explored I went some
back of the to other our camper pitches van to in see case what Dad they wasn’t were done like.
emptying out the sewage tank. So I explored some
of The the nicest other ones pitches were to the see deluxe what pitches they were that
like.
overlooked the stream. Those people had satellite
The dishes nicest and fancy
ones were BBQ
the s, and deluxe they pitches had actual
that
overlooked LAWNS
that the they stream. took Those care people of.
had satellite
dishes and fancy
BBQ
s, and they had actual
LAW
NS
that they took care of.
100
100
107

I could tell the deluxe campsite people didn’t like
us economy guys hanging around their properties,
I thou
could gh,
tell so I
the didn’t deluxe stick campsite around people long.
didn’t like
us e
cono
my guys hanging around their properties,
thou
gh,
so I
didn’t stick around long.
The spots further down the hill weren’t as
nice, but each row was kind of like its own little
The neighbourhood.
spots further down the hill weren’t as
nice, but each row was kind of like its own little
neighbourhood.
One of the rows had a bunch of older people
in it, so I’m guessing that was the area for
One retirees. of the A few rows rows had down a bunch were of families older people with
in little it, kids.
so I’m guessing that was the area for
retirees. A few rows down were families with
little kids.
101
101
108

Some of the rows had THEMES, and people went
kind of crazy with the decorations.
Some of the rows had
THEMES
, and people went
kind of crazy with the decorations.
A few people didn’t have full-sized camper vans,
and I felt grateful that Uncle Gary hadn’t left
A us few one of
people THOSE
didn’t instead.
have full-sized camper vans,
and I felt grateful that Uncle Gary hadn’t left
us one of
THOSE
instead.
102
102
109

Some other people didn’t have camper vans at
ALL. There was one area that looked like it had
Some a full other motorcycle people gang didn’t in it, have and camper I was vans glad atwe
ALL didn’t . There end up was neighbours one area that with
looked THOSE
like guys.
it had
a full motorcycle gang in it, and I was glad we
didn’t end up as neighbours with
THOSE
guys.
But it might’ve been even WORSE if we’d ended
up in the pet-friendly row. Because that area was
But a total
it might’ve ZOO.
been even
WORSE
if we’d ended
up in the pet-friendly row. Because that area was
a total
ZOO.
103
103
110

I could tell when I was getting closer to the
economy
row because
the pitches were packed a
I whole could lot
tell TIGHTER,
when I was and
getting people closer had to to make the the
econ most omy of their row
beca space.
use
the pitches were packed a
whole lot
TIGHTER,
and
people had to make the
most of their space.
When I got back to our pitch, Dad was cooking
hot dogs on the BBQ. I wanted to ask him if he
When washed I his got hands back after to our doing pitch, the Dad sewage was hook-up,
cooking
hot but
I dogs thought on the he BBQ might . I get wanted annoyed to ask with him me
if .
he
washed his hands after doing the sewage hook-up,
104
but
I thought he might get annoyed with me.
104
111

Mom was trying to get to know some of our
neighbours, but they seemed like the type of
Mom people was who trying liked to keep get to to know themselves.
some of our
neighbours, but they seemed like the type of
people who liked to keep to themselves.
Once Dad was done cooking, we sat down at our
picnic table to eat. But the people on the other
Once side of Dad us were was done playing cooking, beanbag we toss sat down on their at our roof,
picnic and somebody table to up eat. there But had the a people lousy on aim.
the other
side of us were playing beanbag toss on their roof,
and somebody up there had a lousy aim.
105
105
112

While we were cleaning up the mess, I told
Mom
and Dad I thought coming here might’ve been a
While MIST
we AKE
were . But cleaning Mom said up the sometimes mess, I it’s tohard
ld
M
om
and getting Dad used I thought to a new coming place, here and might’ve I just been needed
a
MIS to give T
AKE it a . chance.
But Mom said sometimes it’s hard
getting used to a new place, and I just needed
to Then give she it reminded a chance. me that we hadn’t even visited
the lake yet, which should be the best part. I
Then was about she reminded to say something that else, we hadn’t when even I got
visited
the interrupted lake yet, by which a noise should coming be from the best the part. direction
I
was of the about main to lodge.
say something else, when I got
interrupted by a noise coming from the direction
of the main lodge.
It sounded like one of those air-raid sirens you
hear in a war movie when enemy bombers are
It approaching, sounded like and one it put of those me totally air-raid on sirens edge.
you
hear in a war movie when enemy bombers are
106
approaching, and it put me totally on edge.
106
113

Our next-door neighbours seemed nervous, too,
and they gathered up their stuff to take inside
Our their next-door camper van.
neighbours seemed nervous, too,
and they gathered up their stuff to take inside
their camper van.
When Dad asked what the siren was for, our
neighbour said it meant there was a SKUNK
on
When the property, Dad asked and what everyone the siren needed was to for, get our inside
neighbour in a hurry.
said it meant there was a
SK
UNK
on
the property, and everyone needed to get inside
in a hurry.
107
107
114

Well, that was enough to get US moving. We
shut
our
door and peeked out of the window while
Well, we waited. that Sure was enough, to a few get minutes US
moving. later We a
sh
skunk ut o
ur came d
oosniffing r and peeked around out our of pitch.
the window while
we waited. Sure enough, a few minutes later a
skunk came sniffing around our pitch.
It got up on the picnic table, and when it
started eating our hot dogs there was nothing we
It could got do up but
on WATCH
the picnic .
table, and when it
started eating our hot dogs there was nothing we
could do but
WATCH.
108
108
115

Once the skunk was done eating, it LEFT. After
a while, the siren stopped and everyone came
Once back outside. the skunk And, was even done though eating, the it
LEFT skunk . was
After
a GONE
while, , the siren whole stopped pitch smelled
and everyone TERRIBLE
came .
back outside. And, even though the skunk was
GONE
, the whole pitch smelled
TERRIBLE.
Dad said the reason it smelled so bad was because
there’s some sort of chemical in a skunk’s glands
Dad that said people the can reason smell it from smelled a mile so away. bad was And because he said
there’s if you got
some SP
sort RAYED
of chemical by a skunk in a skunk’s it would glands be a
that thousand people times
can W
smell ORSE
from .
a mile away. And he said
if you got
SP
RA
YED
by a skunk it would be a
thousand He said the times best Wthing ORSEyou . could do if you ran into
a skunk was to back away slowly, because a skunk
He will said only the spray best a person thing you if it could feels do like if it’s you cornered
ran into
a or skunk threatened.
was to back away slowly, because a skunk
will only spray a person if it feels like it’s cornered
or threatened.
109
109
116

Then he said you know you’re about to be sprayed
if a skunk stands on its front legs and wiggles its
Then butt. he But said by you then know it’s probably you’re about too
to LATE
be sprayed .
if a skunk stands on its front legs and wiggles its
butt. But by then it’s probably too
LA
TE
.
Rodrick said that a skunk’s spray doesn’t just
smell bad, it’s FLAMMABLE, too. I don’t know
Rodrick if that’s said true that or if a it’s skunk’s just another spray doesn’t one of just his lies.
smell If it
bad, IS true, it’s
FLAM then Monce ABLE skunks , too. figure I don’t out how knowto
if light that’s matches, true or us if human it’s just beings another are in
one BIG
of trouble.
his lies.
If it
IS
true, then once skunks figure out how to
light matches, us human beings are in
BIG
trouble.
110
110
117

When God created the animals, he gave them all
cool stuff to defend themselves with, like shells and
When talons God and created claws.
the animals, he gave them all
cool stuff to defend themselves with, like shells and
talons and claws.
But then when the time came to create
all the
GOOD ideas were used up.
But then when the time came to create
all the
GOOD
ideas were used up.
PEOPLE,
PE
OPLE,
111
111
118

I guess God made up for it by giving us big
BRAINS. But, if it was up to me, I probably
I would’ve guess gone God made with QUILLS
up for it .
by giving us big
BRAINS
. But, if it was up to me, I probably
would’ve gone with
QUILLS
.
I figure if something as small as a skunk could
scare off predators by smelling bad, then maybe it
I could figure work if for
something ME. And as small that’s as when a skunk I decided
could
scar I’m e not of
f gonna predators shower by smelling until I bad, finish then high maybe school.
it
could work for
ME
. And that’s when I decided
I’m not gonna shower until I finish high school.
112
112
119

I probably shouldn’t have told MOM my plan,
though, because all it did was remind her that
I probably skipped taking shouldn’t a shower have told today. MOM So my now plan, she’s
though, making me because take one all it first did thing was remind tomorrow her that morning.
I skipped taking a shower today. So now she’s
making me take one first thing tomorrow morning.
Luckily, we had a few extra hot dogs in the
camper van, and Dad cooked them over the fire.
Luckily, But I kept we had thinking a few about extra that hot dogs skunk. in the So I
camper was already van, a and little Dad jumpy cooked when them all over of a the sudden fire. we
But got S
I P
kept RAY
E
thinking D.
about that skunk. So I
was already a little jumpy when all of a sudden we
got
SPR
AY ED
.
113
113
120

But it wasn’t a SKUNK
that sprayed us. It was
one of our NEIGHBOuRS. Apparently, 9:00 is
But “lights it wasn’t out” at a camp, S
KUNand K
that I guess sprayed people us. around
It was
one here of take our that NEIGH pretty BOuRS seriously.
. Apparently, 9:00 is
“lights out” at camp, and I guess people around
here take that pretty seriously.
So we turned in for the night, but
really SLEEP. Because, like I said before, those
So economy we turned pitches in were for the packed night, together
but
I TIGHT
di
dn
’t .
really
SLEEP
. Because, like I said before, th
ose
economy pitches were packed together
TIGHT.
I
didn’t
114
114
121

Sunday
It turned out the whole camp was early to bed,
Sunday early to rise. We didn’t even need to set our
It alarm turned clocks out because the whole our neighbours camp was let early us to know
bed,
early when it to was rise. time We to didn’t get even up.
need to set our
alarm clocks because our neighbours let us know
when Believe it it was or not, time some to get guy up. was doing WOOD
CARVINGS
on his pitch. I wanted to give him a
Believe piece of it my or mind, not, some but when guy was I saw doing the WOOD chainsaw I
CA figured R
VINGS maybe on I his could pitch. let it I slide wanted this to one give time.
him a
piece of my mind, but when I saw the chainsaw I
figured maybe I could let it slide this one time.
115
115
122

After Dad got out of bed, he started cooking
pancakes and eggs on the griddle. Mom was just
After getting Dad back got from out the of bed, shower he block started and cooking she gave
pancakes me the scoop and on eggs how on things the griddle. worked Mom up there.
was just
getting back from the shower block and she gave
me She the said scoop you had on how to pay things for worked the shower up there. with
coins, and gave me a few. Then she told me that
She I ne
said ed ed
you to
had stop to by pay the for laundrette the shower and move with our
coins, clothes and from gave the me washer a few. to Then the dryer.
she told
me that
I ne
ed
ed to
stop by the laundrette and move our
clothes from the washer to the dryer.
I really didn’t like the idea of taking a shower
in a public building. When you live in a house
with
I your really family, didn’t the like bathroom the idea is of the taking only place a shower you
in can a get public any
building. PRIVACY
When . So, you live when in I’m a hoin use there,
with
your I’m in family, my own the little bathroom world.
is the only place you
can get any
PRIV
ACY
. So, when I’m in there,
116
I’m in my own little world.
116
123

And, once that door’s locked, I can do anything
I WANT.
And, once that door’s locked, I can do anything
I
W
ANT
.
But sometimes I get myself in TROU
BLE in the
bathroom. Once, I almost broke my ribs when I
But was pretending sometimes I to get be myself Spider-Man in
TRin OUthe BLE shower.
in the
bathroom. Once, I almost broke my ribs when I
was pretending to be Spider-Man in the shower.
117
117
124

When I arrived at the shower block, the line was
already wrapped round the building. And I got
When to know I my arrived fellow at campers the shower a little block, better the than l
ine was I
already WANTED
wrapped to.
round the building. And I got
to know my fellow campers a little better than I
W
ANTED
to.
I figured the line would split at the entrance,
and guys would go one way and girls would go the
I other. figured But the it turns line would out this split place at the didn’t entrance, have those
and kinds guys of boundaries.
would go one way and girls would go the
other. But it turns out this place didn’t have those
kinds of boundaries.
118
118
125

I found out the reason the wait was so long was
because there were only three shower stalls inside.
I When found it was out finally the reason my turn, the wait I put was twenty-five
so long was
because cents
in
there coin were slot only on three the stall shower door, stalls and inside. that
When got
th
it e was shower finally going.
my turn, I put twenty-five
ce
nts
in
the coin slot on the stall door, and that
The got
th hot e shower water felt
going. GOOD, especially since I
hadn’t had a hot shower in a few days.
The hot water felt
GOOD
, especially since I
hadn’t had a hot shower in a few days.
But I couldn’t really enjoy it since the stalls only
went so high.
But I couldn’t really enjoy it since the stalls only
went so high.
119
119
126

I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was by
myself. But that was kind of hard to do when the
I person closed in my the eyes next and stall tried started to pretend getting
I CHA
was TTY
by .
myself. But that was kind of hard to do when the
person in the next stall started getting
CHA
TTY
.
I decided to wrap things up and get out of
there. But the shower stopped before I had a
I chance decided to rinse to wrap the things shampoo up out and of get my out hair.
of
there. But the shower stopped before I had a
chance to rinse the shampoo out of my hair.
120
120
127

It turns out twenty-five cents only paid
for
three minutes of hot water. I tried
to hand
the
It next turns person out in twenty-five line a coin to cents put in only the slot, paid
fbut or
I
three couldn’t minutes get his of attention.
hot water. I trie
d to
h
and
the
next person in line a coin to put in the slot, but I
couldn’t get his attention.
So I stepped out of the shower to put the coin
in MYSELF. But I guess that was just the
So opportunity I stepped this out guy of was
the W
shower AITING
to put for.
the coin
in
MYSELF
. But I guess that was just the
opportunity this guy was W
AITING
for.
121
121
128

And what REALLY
stunk was when he started
using my SHAMPOO.
And what
REALLY
stunk was when he started
using my
SHAM
POO.
I didn’t feel like getting into an argument with
a naked guy, so I LEFT. But some soapsuds got
I in my didn’t eye, feel and like I getting could barely into see an argument where I was
with
a going.
naked guy, so I
LEFT
. But some soapsuds got
in my eye, and I could barely see where I was
going.
122
122
129

Luckily, I found my way to the laundrette,
where
there was a sink. And that water was
Luckily, FREE.
I found my way to the laundrette,
wh
ere
there was a sink. And that water was
FREE
.
Once I finished rinsing the shampoo out of my
hair, I started looking for our clothes. But
Once someone I had finished taken rinsing them the out shampoo of the washing
out of my
hair, machine I and started dumped looking them for on our the clothes. floor so But they
someone could put
had THEIR
taken clothes them out in.
of the washing
machine and dumped them on the f
loor so they
could put
THEIR
clothes in.
123
123
130

After I put our clothes in the dryer, I decided
I was gonna stick around the washing machines
After and find
I out
put who
our clothes dumped in our the stuff dryer on , the I decided floor
I when was they gonna came stick back around to get
the THEIRS
washing .
machines
and
find
out
who
dumped our stuff on the f
loor
when they came back to get
THEIRS.
But, when I saw who it WAS,
I thought maybe
I could let things slide one more time.
But, when I saw who it
WAS,
I thought maybe
I could let things slide one more time.
124
124
131

When I got back to our pitch, all I wanted to
do was crawl back into bed. But Mom said we were
When all going I got down back to the to our lake pitch, and I all needed I wanted to put
to
do on was my swimming crawl back shorts.
into bed. But Mom said we were
all going down to the lake and I needed to put
on I reminded my swimming her that shorts. I didn’t HAV
E swimming
shorts any more, and I was hoping that would
I get reminded me off the her hook. that I But didn’t Mom Hsaid AV ERodrick swimming had a
shorts SPARE
any pair, more, and, and even I was though hoping I’m that not a would fan of
get wearing me off someone the hook. else’s But clothes, Mom I said knew Rodrick there had was
a
SP no ARE point pair, in debating a
nd, even her though about it.
I’m not a fan of
wearing someone else’s clothes, I knew there was
no point in debating her about it.
I figured if we splashed around the lake for a
few minutes and acted like we were having a good
I time, figured Mom if would we splashed be satisfied around and the let us lake go for back
a
few to camp. minutes But and she acted took like her we camera were with having her, a good and
time, that always Mom would complicates be satisfied things.
and let us go back
to camp. But she took her camera with her, and
that always complicates things.
125
125
132

This summer Mom’s been spending a lot of time on
social media. And, whenever she sees how perfect
This her
friends’ summer families Mom’s been look, spending it makes a her
lot JEAL
of time OUS
on.
social media. And, whenever she sees how perfect
her
friends’ families look, it makes her
JEAL
OUS
.
So Mom always puts us in these awkward poses
to make it look like WE’
RE having a good time,
So too. Mom But always there puts must us be something these awkward wrong with posesmy
to family, make because it look we like can WEnever ’
RE get having our a act good together.
time,
too. But there must be something wrong with my
family, because we can never get our act together.
126
126
133

The lake looked calm and peaceful when we first
saw it from the bridge. But today it was a whole
The different lake looked scene.
calm and peaceful when we first
saw it from the bridge. But today it was a whole
different scene.
I was expecting the lake to be clear, like the one
at the fish hatchery, but it looked DIRTY
to me.
I And was that’s expecting probably the because lake to people be clear, weren’t like the just
one
at using the it fish for
hatchery, SWIMMING
but .
it looked
DIR
TY
to me.
And that’s probably because people weren’t just
using it for
SWIMMING
.
127
127
134

I thought people were acting kind of nuts at the
POOL yesterday, but at the lake it was at a
I whole thought different
people LE
were VEL.
acting kind of nuts at the
POOL
yesterday, but at the lake it was at a
whole There different was a rope LEswing VEL
. attached to a big tree
that went out over the water. But I wasn’t
There planning was on a using rope swing that thing attached unless to it
a RAINed
big tree
that for a went few days out over first.
the water. But I wasn’t
planning on using that thing unless it
RAINed
for a few days first.
There were some rafts floating in the middle of
the lake, and I thought about grabbing one. But
There I changed were my some mind rafts when f
loating I saw in how the people middle were
of
the using lake, them.
and I thought about grabbing one. But
I changed my mind when I saw how people were
128
using them.
128
135

There was a ramp at the bottom of a big hill by
the lake, and I couldn’t tell what it was for. But
There my question was a got ramp answered at the when bottom some of kid a big launched
hill by
the himself lake, into and the I water couldn’t inside tell a what tractor it was tyre.
for. But
my question got answered when some kid launched
himself into the water inside a tractor tyre.
129
129
136

Mom wanted us all to swim, but I was still pretty
scarred from my LAST
experience in a lake. Plus, I
Mom don’t wanted trust any us water all to I swim, can’t but see I through.
was still pretty
scarred from my
LA
ST
experience in a lake. Plus, I
don’t There trust was something any water weird I can’t sticking see through. up in the middle
of the lake, and I pointed it out to Dad. He said
There it was was probably something just a weird branch, sticking but up it didn’t in the look
middle
of like the a branch lake, and to ME
I . pointed And, when it out you to can Dad. only He see
said
it a part was probably of something, just a it branch, could be
but ANYTHING
it didn’t look .
like a branch to
ME
. And, when you can only see
a part of something, it could be
ANYTHING.
130
130
137

Nobody else was in the mood to swim, either, so we
put our stuff down on the ground. But it turned out
Nobody a lake shore else isn’t was in the the same mood as a
to BEA
swim, CH
either, shore, so and
we
put within our a stuff few seconds down on we the were ground. sinking But in it the turned muck.
out
a lake shore isn’t the same as a
BEA
CH
shore, and
within a few seconds we were sinking in the muck.
Mom said we weren’t going back to our pitch
until we did something FUN. There was a canoe
Mom tied up said to we the weren’t dock, going and she back said to we our should pitch take
until it out we on did the something water. I FU was N
. fine
There with was being
a canoe on
tied top of up the to the water, dock, so and long she as said we didn’t we should have take to
it go
out IN
on it.
the water. I was fine
wit
h be
ing
on
top of the water, so long as we didn’t have to
go We IN took it. turns getting into the canoe, which wasn’t
as easy as I thought it would be.
We took turns getting into the canoe, which wasn’t
as easy as I thought it would be.
131
131
138

I stayed low, just like Dad told
me
to.
Rodrick
DIDN’
T,
though,
and
we
almost capsized while we
I were stayed still tied low, to just the like dock.
Dad told
me
to.
Rodrick
DIDN
’
T
, though,
and
we
alm
ost capsized
while
we
were still tied to the dock.
After we were all in the canoe, we put on life
jackets and paddled out on the water. But some
After people we swimming were all nearby in the seemed canoe, like we they put on were lifein a
jackets hurry to and get paddled out of our
out W
on AY
the .
water. But some
people swimming nearby seemed like they were in a
hurry to get out of our W
AY.
132
132
139

Then we found out WHY. As soon as we got to
the middle of the lake, something BIG landed
Then right we next found to our out canoe. WHYAnd . As a soon second as we later got there
to
the was ANO
middle THER
of the splash.
lake, something
BIG
landed
right next to our canoe. And a second later there
was
ANO
THER
splash.
Some teenagers up on the hill had turned a
hammock into a giant SLINGSHOT
, and they were
Some using teenagers us for TARGET
up on the practice.
hill had turned a
hammock into a giant
SLINGSHOT
,
and they were
using us for
T
ARGET
practice.
133
133
140

I guess that explained why no one was using the
canoe. We tried to paddle back to the dock, but
I the guess guys that on the explained hill were why getting no one more was and using more
the
canoe. accurate We with tried each to shot.
paddle back to the dock, but
the guys on the hill were getting more and more
accurate with each shot.
I guess Rodrick didn’t wanna get hit, so he decided
to abandon ship. And that was a problem for the
I RE
guess ST of Rodrick us, because didn’t now wanna we were get hit, unbalanced.
so he decided
to abandon ship. And that was a problem for the
RE
ST
of us, because now we were unbalanced.
134
134
141

Our canoe capsized, and somehow me and Dad
ended up UNDERNEATH
it. At first I thought
Our it was canoe a GOOD
capsized, thing, and since somehow we were me and protected
Dad
ended from those up
UNDERNEA watermelons.
TH
it. At first I thought
it was a
GOOD
thing, since we were protected
from those watermelons.
But I changed my mind when we took a direct
hit, because it was like being on the inside of a
But DRU
I M.
changed my mind when we took a direct
hit, because it was like being on the inside of a
D
RUM.
135
135
142

Me and Dad ditched the canoe and swam for the
dock. And we had to move FAST, because now we
Me were and out Dad of range, ditched so the the canoe guys and on the swam hill for were
the
dock. SKIPPING
And we their had shots.
to move
FA
ST
, because now we
were out of range, so the guys on the hill were
SKIPPING
their shots.
We pulled ourselves on to the dock, where we
were safe. Mom was upset because her camera was
We ruined, pulled but ourselves I didn’t on really to the want dock, my where picture wetaken
were right saf at e. that Mom moment, was upset anyway.
because her camera was
ruined, but I didn’t really want my picture taken
right at that moment, anyway.
136
136
143

Monday
I think Mom realized we’d had a little too much
Monday family time yesterday, because this morning she
I said
think everyon
Mom e co
realized uld go do we’d their had own a little thing. too I
much
family was plan
time ning
yesterday, on relaxing because for once, this morning but Mom she had
said OTHER
eve
ryon ideas.
e co
uld go do their own thing. I
was
plan
ning
on relaxing for once, but Mom had
She O
THER said this ideas. camp was full of kids my age, and
this was the perfect opportunity to branch out
She and make said this new
camp FRIENDS
was full .
of kids my age, and
this was the perfect opportunity to branch out
and make new
FRIENDS.
I told Mom I wasn’t really in the mood for
socializing, and there wasn’t any point in trying
I to told make Mom new I friends wasn’t since really I’d in never the mood even
for SEE
socializing, any of these and people there again.
wasn’t any point in
trying
to make new friends since I’d never even
SEE
any
of these people again.
137
137
144

But
Mom
said some of her best friends to this
day are people she met at summer camp when she
Bu was t MY
Mom
age.
said some of her best friends to this
day are people she met at summer camp when she
was
MY
age.
I told Mom it’s DIFFERENT from when she was
growing up, and it’s a lot harder to make friends
I with told strangers Mom it’s nowadays. DIFFERENT But Mom from said when she she could
was
growing help me with up, and that.
it’s a lot harder to make friends
with strangers nowadays. But Mom said she could
help I was me hoping with that. Mom would just drop it. But ten
minutes later a group of boys passed by our camper
I van
was carrying hoping fishing Mom would rods. just And, drop before it. But I could
ten
minutes STOP
her, later Mom a group started of boys with passed the introductions.
by our camper
van
carrying fishing rods. And, before I could
S
TOP
her, Mom started with the introductions.
138
138
145

Luckily, these kids didn’t beat me up the second
Mom
stepped away. They said they were going
Luckily, down
to
these their kids fishing didn’t spot, beat and me I up could the come secondwith
Mo them m
stepped if I wanted.
away. They said they were going
do
wn to
their fishing spot, and I could come with
them I’m not if I really wanted. big on fishing, but I figured I’d
just go along with these guys to make Mom happy.
I’m not really big on fishing, but I figured I’d
just I recognized go along a with few these of them guys from to make the pool, Mom happy. and
on our way down to the stream I learned their
I names.
recognized a few of them from the pool, and
on our way down to the stream I learned their
names.
139
139
146

Everyone was calling the smallest kid Ju
icebox, and
he seemed to be the one in charge. The kid with
Everyone the inner tube was calling was Big the Marcus, smallest and kid I Ju
couldn’t i
cebox, and
he tell seemed if he was to be wearing the one that in charge. thing for The fun kid or with if he
the couldn’t inner actually tube was get
Big OUT
Marcus, of it.
and I couldn’t
tell if he was wearing that thing for fun or if he
couldn’t actually get O
UT
of it.
The tall skinny kid was Weevil, and the boy with
the shaved head was called DooDoo. I don’t
The wanna tall be skinny mean or kid anything, was Weevil, but
and that
the boy
boy rea
with lly
the lived shaved up to his head nickname.
was called DooDoo. I d
on
’t
wanna be mean or anything, but
th
at boy
r
ea
lly
lived up to his nickname.
140
140
147

A few other kids joined us, and THEY all had
nicknames, too. So I guess that’s a thing around
A here.
few other kids joined us, and
THEY
all had
nicknames, too. So I guess that’s a thing around
here.
Ju
icebox asked me MY name, and I figured since
everyone ELSE was using made-up names, I might
Jas uiwell, cebo
x too.
asked me
MY
name, and I figured since
everyone
ELSE
was using made-up names, I might
as well, too.
141
141
148

The
stream
was pretty shallow in this spot, so I
didn’t see how these guys were gonna catch any
Th fish. e st
But re
amI was found pretty out the shallow real in reason this spot, they came
so I
didn’t here wasn’t see how to these fish, it guys was were to T
gonna ALK. catch And any they
fish. argued But about
I found EVER
out YTHING
the real .
reason they came
here wasn’t to fish, it was to T
ALK
. And they
argued The first about topic E
VER was which YTHING superhero . would win in a
fight, and that turned into a conversation about
The which first superpower topic was was which best. superhero And somehow would that
win in a
fight, turned and into that a debate turned about into what a conversation kind of animal
about
which you’d choose superpower to fight was if best. you And were somehow sentenced that to
turned death.
into a debate about what kind of animal
you’d choose to fight if you were sentenced to
death.
142
142
149

Then they got into an argument about whether it
would be better to fight a person with the head
Then of a shark they got or a into shark an with argument the head about of whether a person.
it
would And the be better guys were to split fight down a person the middle with the on that
head
one.
of a
shark or a shark with the head of a person.
And the guys were split down the middle on that
one.
The conversation got pretty heated, and then it
got PHYSICAL. I didn’t wanna get hurt, so I
The tried conversation to stay out got of the pretty way.
heated, and then it
got
PHYSICAL
. I didn’t wanna get hurt, so I
tried to stay out of the way.
143
143
150

But just like that it was OVER, and everyone
acted like nothing happened.
But just like that it was O
VER
, and everyone
acted I was like starting nothing to happened. get nervous hanging around
a bunch of guys who liked to settle things with
I their
was FIST
starting S, and to get I told nervous them hanging maybe I around should
a be bunch heading of guys back. who But
liked Ju
icebox to settle said that, things since with I
their was the
FIST NEW S
, and kid
I around told here, them maybe it was I their should job
be to heading show me back. the ropes.
But
JAnd
ui
cebox I said decided that, to go since along
I
was with the it, mostly NEW
kbecause id
around I didn’t here, want it was DooDoo
their job
to putting sh
ow me in th
e a ropes. headlock.
And
I decided to go along
with it, mostly because I didn’t want DooDoo
putting me in a headlock.
It turns out these guys have been coming here
for years, so they knew all the ins and outs of
It the turns place. out They these knew guys how have to get been a coming free bag here of
for pretzels years, from so they vending knew all machine the ins at and the outs lodge,
of
the place. exact time They the knew delivery how to truck get came a free to bag resupply
of
pretzels the camp from store, the and vending where machine you needed at the to be lodge, when
they exact threw time out the delivery day-old truck doughnuts.
came to resupply
the camp store, and where you needed to be when
144
they threw out the day-old doughnuts.
144
151

Plus, they knew where all the cute girls in camp
were staying and when they each ate lunch.
Plus, they knew where all the cute girls in camp
were staying and when they each ate lunch.
145
145
152

These guys were big pranksters, too. Weevil
found
a half-filled bottle of shampoo on the ground,
and
These that gave
guys J
were uicebox big an
pranksters, IDEA. He too. took Wus ee
round vil
fo
unthe
d
a back half-filled of the shower bottle block of shampoo to the on wall t
he on gthe ro
unother
d,
and
that side of gave the Jshower ui
cebox stalls.
an
IDEA
. He took us round the
back of the shower block to the wall on the other
side As soon of the as shower the person stalls. near the window finished
rinsing the soapsuds out of his hair, Ju
icebox
As squirted soon more as the shampoo person on near his the scalp.
window fini
shed
rinsing the soapsuds out of his hair, Ju
i
cebox
squirted more shampoo on his scalp.
The guy lathered up his hair AGAIN, and once
he finished rinsing it Ju
icebox was there with
The anothe
guy r sq
lathered uirt.
After up his a couple hair
AGAIN more rounds , and of once this,
the finished guy started rinsing gett
it in Jg
ui
ceb angry
ox was .
there with
an
ot
her
sq
ui
rt.
After a couple more rounds of this,
146
the guy started ge
tt
ing
angry.
146
153

But when he heard Cutter laugh we were
BUSTED. And it was the LAST guy we should’ve
But been when messing he with, heard too.
Cutter laugh we were
BUS
TED
. And it was the
LAST
guy we should’ve
been messing with, too.
147
147
154

Luckily, Juicebox and his gang knew all the good
hiding spots on the campsite, so we lay low behind
Luckily, the snack Juicebox shack until and his the gang coast knew was clear.
all the good
hiding spots on the campsite, so we lay low behind
the snack shack until the coast was clear.
I’d never really had a group of friends before,
and I was starting to have FUN.
I’d never really had a group of friends before,
and The I guys was wanted starting to to go have down FUN to the . field by the
lake and play some games. I figured they wanted
The to play guys something wanted to normal go down like football to the field or tag, by the so I
lake went and along play with some them.
games. I figured they wanted
to play something normal like football or tag, so I
went But these along guys with had them. their OWN idea of fun.
148
But these guys had their
OWN
idea of fun.
148
155

And most of their games involved someone getting
hit by a ball or getting tackled, and sometimes
And both most at the of same their time.
games involved someone getting
hit by a ball or getting tackled, and sometimes
both at the same time.
149
149
156

The last game we played was Red Rover, where
everyone makes a human chain and tries to keep
The one person last game from we getting played through. was Red Rover, But Big where Marcus
everyone was unstoppable, makes a and human we chain got pretty and tries banged to keep up.
one person from getting through. But Big Marcus
was unstoppable, and we got pretty banged up.
It seemed like everyone was ready to wrap things
up for the day, but that’s when something fell
It from seemed the SKY
like .
everyone was ready to wrap things
up for the day, but that’s when something fell
from the S
KY.
150
150
157

It was those teenagers on the hill, launching
watermelons from their hammock. We ran for
It cover was underneath those teenagers the shed on where the hill, they launching kept the
watermelons kayaks. And from that’s their where
hammock. Ju
icebox We told r
an me f
orw
hat
cover was going underneath on.
the shed where they kept
the
kayaks. And that’s where Ju
i
cebox told me w
hat
was He said going that on. every time him and his gang played
in that field the teenagers bombarded them with
He watermelons. said that And every I time really him wished and his someone gang played had
in mentioned that field that the to teenagers me BEFO
bombarded RE I agreed them to with go
watermelons. down there.
And I really wished someone had
mentioned that to me
BEFO
RE
I agreed to go
down there.
But Ju
icebox said that today him and his guys
were ready to strike BACK.
But Ju
i
cebox said that today him and his guys
were ready to strike
BA
CK.
151
151
158

They’d stashed a bunch of water guns in one
of the kayaks, and they had some serious
They’d firepowe
stashed r in there. a bunch Everyone of water chose guns a weapon in one for
of them
the selv
kayaks, es, but
and since they I was had the some new serious guy I picked
fire LAS
powe T.
r in there. Everyone chose a weapon for
them
selv
es,
but
since I was the new guy I picked
LAST.
I wasn’t crazy about picking a fight with a bunch
of teenagers
anyway, so I told the guys I really
I need
wasn’t ed to crazy be getting about back picking to a my fight family.
with a bunch
of t
eena
gers
any
way, so I told the guys I really
need
ed t
o be
getting back to my family.
152
152
159

But Ju
icebox said I was one of THEM now, and
we were all in this fight TOGETHER.
I probably
But should’ve Ju
i
cebox walked said away I was then, one but of
THEM I didn’t now, wann
and a let
we these were guys all in down.
this fight TO
GETH
ER.
I probably
should’ve walked away then, but I didn’t wa
nna
let
these We gathered guys down. around Ju
icebox, and he showed us
his plan. He said somebody needed to volunteer
to
We be gathered decoy on around the lake Ju
i
cebox, so the and rest he of showed us could
us
his sneak plan. up on He the said teenagers somebody from needed behind.
to volu
nt
eer
to
be the decoy on the lake so the rest of us could
sneak up on the teenagers from behind.
Nobody wanted to volunteer, so we took a vote,
and that’s how Big Marcus got chosen. And that
Nobody was good wanted news for to me, volunteer, because so I we got took his a water
vote,
and gun.
that’s how Big Marcus got chosen. And that
was good news for me, because I got his water
gun.
153
153
160

Big Marcus paddled out to the middle of the lake
and, sure enough, the teenagers opened fire as
Big soon Marcus as they paddled saw him.
out to the middle of the lake
and, sure enough, the teenagers opened fire as
soon as they saw him.
And that’s when the rest of us made our
And that’s when the rest of us made our
MOVE.
MO
VE.
154
154
161

We let loose with everything we had, and by the
time our water guns were empty those teenagers
We were let totally
loose DRENCHED
with everything .
we had, and by the
time our water guns were empty those teenagers
were totally
DRENCHED
.
But I wish Ju
icebox had put a little more thought
into the NEXT step of his plan, because all we
But really I did wish was Ju
make i
cebo
x those had put guys
a M
little AD.
more thought
into the
NEXT
step of his plan, because all we
really did was make those guys M
AD.
162

They chased us past the main lodge, and we turned
the corner at the laundrette. I thought they were
They gonna chased catch us for past sure, the but main Big lodge, Marcus and picked we turned the
the PER
corner FECT
at time the to laundrette. rejoin the I team.
thought they were
gonna catch us for sure, but Big Marcus picked the
PER
FE
CT
time to rejoin the team.
That bought the rest of us extra TIME, and we
used it to reload our water guns from the soda
That dispenser bought at the snack rest of shack.
us extra
TIME
, and we
used it to reload our water guns from the soda
dispenser at the snack shack.
156
156
163

Cutter grabbed a few squeezy bottles of ketchup
and mustard for some extra firepower. So, when
Cutter the teenagers grabbed arrived, a few squeezy we were
bottles READY
of for ketchup them.
and mustard for some extra firepower. So, when
the teenagers arrived, we were
READY
for them.
And I don’t know if it was the soda or the
ketchup that did it, but a few seconds later the
And snack I shack don’t was know full if of
it BEES
was the .
soda or the
ketchup that did it, but a few seconds later the
snack shack was full of
BEES.
157
157
164

We ran to the hiding spot we used earlier in the
day and took a minute to catch our breath.
We ran to the hiding spot we used earlier in the
day Everyone and took was in a minute the mood to to catch celebrate, our breath. but Ju
icebox
seemed WORRIED. He said those teenagers would
Everyone be coming was for us, in the and mood that to the celebrate, camp director but Ju
iwas
cebox
seemed gonna be WOmad RRIED we made . He a said mess those at the teenagers snack shack.
would
be coming for us, and that the camp director was
gonna be mad we made a mess at the snack shack.
Cutter said we should make a PACT
that if one of
us got caught, nobody would rat anyone else out.
Cutter And
everyone said we seemed should to make like a that PACTidea.
that if one of
us got caught, nobody would rat anyone else out.
An But d it everyone got complicated seemed to when like we that started idea. talking
about what the penalty was for BREAKING the
But pact, it because got complicated everyone when had a we diff
started erent id
talking ea of
about what that what should the penalty be.
was for
BREAKING
the
pact, because everyone had a diff
eren
t id
ea of
158
what that should be.
158
165

Big Marcus said that if you broke the pact, then
you had to go through the Pool Noodle Gauntlet,
Big which Marcus sounded said pretty
that if HARSH
you broke to me.
the pact, then
you had to go through the Pool Noodle Gauntlet,
which sounded pretty
HARSH
to me.
Regular Marcus said that if one of us snitched,
that person needed to wear his underwear on his
Regular head for Marcus a whole said day.
that if one of us snitched,
that person needed to wear his underwear on his
head for a whole day.
159
159
166

Some people wanted to take it even FURTHER.
Fivehead said it had to be your DAD’
S underwear,
Some and you
people had
wanted to walk to past take the it pretty even
FUgirls’ R
THER pitches .
Fivehead at lunchtime.
said it had to be your D
AD’
S
underwear,
and
you
had
at lunchtime.
to walk past the pretty girls’ pitches
Then the guys got into an argument about
whether the underwear should be clean or dirty,
Then and
things the guys got got physical into again. an argument But I about was actually
whether GLAD, because the underwear it gave should me the be opportunity clean or dirty, I
needed and
things to slip got away.
physical again. But I was actually
GLAD
, because it gave me the opportunity I
needed to slip away.
167

Tuesday
Thankfully, Mom didn’t have any big plans for us
Tuesday today. Because after everything that happened
Thankfully, yesterday, I Mom really didn’t just have wanted any to big lie plans low for the
us
today. rest of Because the trip.
after everything that happened
yesterday, I really just wanted to lie low for the
rest Mom of went the to trip. the camp store to pick up some
groceries for dinner, and when she came back she
Mom was all went excited to the about camp a f
store lyer she’d to pick picked up some up at the
groceries main lodge.
for dinner, and when she came back she
was all excited about a f
lyer she’d picked up at the
main lodge.
161
161
168

Nobody else was crazy about going to a pool
party, but Mom said this could be just the thing
Nobody to turn our else trip was crazy around.
about going to a pool
party, but Mom said this could be just the thing
to turn our trip around.
We all knew that once Mom gets an idea in her
head there’s no talking her out of it. Plus, it had
We been all really knew sticky that and once hot Mom all gets day, an so idea I figured in her it
head would there’s be nice no to talking cool off her for out a few of hours.
it. Plus, it had
been really sticky and hot all day, so I figured it
would Mom forgot be nice to to get cool plastic off for utensils a few hours. at the store,
so she sent me up there with some money. I was
Mom a little forgot nervous to get one of plastic those utensils teenagers at the might store, spot
so me she on the sent way, me up so there I wanted with to some get money. there I and
was
a back little as nervous quick as one I could.
of those teenagers might spot
me on the way, so I wanted to get there and
back But I as stopped quick as when I could. Regular Marcus called out to
me when I passed by the place we hid yesterday.
But I stopped when Regular Marcus called out to
162
me when I passed by the place we hid yesterday.
162
169

Regular Marcus told me that this morning these
posters started appearing all over camp, and he
Regular showed me Marcus one he told took me from that the this laundrette.
morning these
posters started appearing all over camp, and he
showed me one he took from the laundrette.
163
163
170

The second I saw the poster, I knew it was a
trick. I told Regular Marcus that the people
The who run second this I place saw were the poster, just trying I knew to catch it was the
a
trick kids who . trashed I told Regular the snack Marcus shack, that and they
people
who were run using this ice place cream were as BAIT
just trying . I told to him catch not the to
kids fall for who it, trashed and to the tell snack the O
shack, THER
and guys they not to,
were either.
using ice cream as
BAIT
. I told him not to
fall for it, and to tell the O
TH
ER
guys not to,
either.
But he said it was already too LATE
. Because, when
the first posters went up, Ju
icebox and the other
But guys he had said headed it was straight already too for LA the TElodge . Because, with their
when
the water first guns.
posters went up, Ju
i
cebox and the other
guys had headed straight for the lodge with their
water guns.
164
164
171

Regular Marcus said he would’ve been WITH them,
but he had to go back to his camper van to grab
Regular his squirt Marcus gun. And said by he the would’ve time been he got WITH to the
them,
but lodge he the had doors to go were back already
to his l
camper ocked
van .
to grab
his squirt gun. And by the time he got to the
lodge the doors were already l
ocked.
So Regular Marcus climbed up on to a recycling
bin to look through the window and see what was
So going Regular on. And Marcus what climbed he saw up wasn’t
on to pre
a recycling tty.
bin to look through the window and see what was
going on. And what he saw wasn’t
pre
tty.
165
165
172

It turns out there was no ice cream at ALL. The
camp
director
told the guys they were gonna have
It to scrub turns every out there inch of was the no snack ice cream shack at tomorrow
ALL
. The
ca
morning, mp dir
ec
and tor
told use T
the OO
guys THBR
they USH
were ES to gonna do it.
have
to
scrub every inch of the snack shack tomorrow
morning, and use T
OO
TH
BR
USH
ES
to do it.
I guess Jui
cebox didn’t like the sound of that, so
he told the camp director the whole thing was a
I big
guess MISUNDERS Jui
cebox didn’t TAND
like ING
the .
sound of that, so
he told the camp director the whole thing was a
big
MISUNDERST
AND
ING.
166
166
173

He said him and the other guys got roped into the
fight, and the guy that started it all was still on
He the said loose. him And and when the other camp guys director got roped asked into him
the
fight, the name and of the the guy “ringleader”,
that started Ju
icebox
it all threw was still the
on
the new loose. guy under And the when bus.
the camp director asked him
the name of the “ringleader”, Ju
i
cebox
threw the
new guy under the bus.
But I guess the camp director wasn’t convinced.
Because after he let the other guys go, he made
But Juicebox I guess walk the door camp to door director with him wasn’t to find convinced. this
Because Jimmy Dogfish after he character.
let the other guys go,
he made
J
u
icebox walk door to door with him to find this
Jimmy I really Dogfish didn’t character. wanna be there when they reached
MY camper van. So, when I got back to our
I pitch, really I didn’t told everyone wanna be we there needed when to they eat quick reached so
MY we could camper get van. to that So, when pool party.
I got back to our
pitch, I told everyone we needed to eat quick so
we could get to that pool party.
167
167
174

I figured the pool might be the one place on the
campsite where I was actually SAFE. But once we
I got figured there I the realized pool might I was be wrong the one about place that.
on the
campsite where I was actually
SAFE
. But once we
got there I realized I was wrong about that.
It seemed like the combination of loud music and
night-time was making people a little extra crazy.
It And seemed it wasn’t like just the the combination kids this of time, loud it music was and the
night-time grown-ups, was too.
making people a little extra crazy.
And it wasn’t just the kids this time, it was the
grown-ups, A bunch of too. dads had turned the shallow end into
a giant WHIRLPOOL.
A bunch of dads had turned the shallow end into
168
a giant
WHIRLPOOL.
168
175

And somebody had greased the slide, so people
were coming off that thing at a hundred miles an
And hour.
somebody had greased the slide, so people
were coming off that thing at a hundred miles an
hour.
169
169
176

There was a movie playing on a screen at the
deep end of the pool, and whoever chose the film
There probably was should’ve a movie picked playing something on a screen that was the a
deep little end more of family-friendly.
the pool, and whoever chose the film
probably should’ve picked something that was a
little more family-friendly.
Mom wasn’t even paying attention to what was
going on in the pool. There were a bunch of
Mom activities wasn’t in the even grassy paying area, attention and she to what wanted was us to
going participate on in in
the EVER
pool. YTHING
There were .
a bunch of
activities in the grassy area, and she wanted us to
170
participate in E
VER
YTHING.
170
177

We entered the balloon-popping relay as a family,
but we came in last place since Manny didn’t have
We enough entered body the weight balloon-popping to burst the relay first as balloon.
a family,
but we came in last place since Manny didn’t have
enough body weight to burst the first balloon.
Mom made Dad enter the beer belly contest, but
he didn’t even make it past the first round.
Mom made Dad enter the beer belly contest, but
he didn’t even make it past the first round.
171
171
178

Manny entered a hot dog eating contest on his
own, and I had no IDEA that boy could pack so
Manny much food entered away.
a hot dog eating contest on his
own, and I had no
IDEA
that boy could pack so
much food away.
Me and Rodrick competed in a dizzy stick relay race,
where you had to spin round a baseball bat five
times, Me and then Rodrick tag competed the next in person a dizzy on stick your relay team.
race,
where But we you were had playing to spin against round two a baseball guys who bat had five just
times, finished
then tag hot
the dog
next eating person contest, your so things team. got
But a little
we M
were ESS
playing Y.
against two guys who had just
fini
shed
the
hot
dog
eating contest, so things got
a little M
ESSY.
172
172
179

Mom tried to get me to enter a mother-son dance
contest with her, but there wasn’t enough money
Mom in the tried world to to get get me me to to enter agree a mother-son to THAT
.
dance
contest with her, but there wasn’t enough money
in the world to get me to agree to
THAT
.
I entered the pie eating contest, because I
thought I might actually WIN. But they held it
I at entered the same the time pie as eating the belly contest, flop
because contest,
Iand
thought my seat was I might the one actually closest WIN to . the But pool.
they held it
at the same time as the belly flo
p co
ntes
t, a
nd
my
seat was the one closest to the pool.
173
173
180

Speaking of the belly flop contest, too many
contestants got on the diving board at the same
Speaking time, and of it wasn’t the belly built f
lop to carry contest, that too much many weight.
contestants got on the diving board at the same
time, and it wasn’t built to carry that much weight.
After the party activities wrapped up, Mom
talked us all into getting in the water for a quick
After family swim.
the party activities wrapped up, Mom
talked us all into getting in the water for a quick
174
family swim.
174
181

The pool was crowded and nobody was really doing
any swimming, anyway. It seemed like the only
The people pool having was crowded any fun and were nobody the ones was on
really RAF
doing TS.
any swimming, anyway. It seemed like the only
people But the having rafts any were fun all were taken, the and ones it on didn’t RAFlook
TS
.
like anybody was willing to give one up.
But the rafts were all taken, and it didn’t look
like anybody was willing to give one up.
Then Mom spotted a giant empty inner tube in
the middle of the pool. That thing was so big it
Then must’ve Mom been spotted an AeroPLANE
a giant empty tyre inner or something.
tube the So we middle all swam of the out pool. to it That before thing someone was else so big took
it
must’ve it for themselves.
been an
AeroPLANE
tyre or something.
So we all swam out to it before someone else took
it for themselves.
175
175
182

The tyre was so huge it was almost impossible to
get into. But, with a little teamwork, we finally
The did it.
tyre was so huge it was almost impossible to
get into. But, with a little teamwork, we finally
did it.
Once we all got on, we found out why that thing
was empty to
BEGIN
with.
Once we all got on, we found out why that thing
was empty to
BE
GIN
with.
176
176
183

After we got tossed from the giant inner tube,
Mom was done with the pool party. And I felt
After bad because we got I tossed knew how from much the she giant wanted inner tonight
tube,
Mom to be was special.
done with the pool party. An
d I felt
bad because I knew how much she wanted tonight
to A lot be special. of other people were starting to clear
out,
too,
but there were still a few stragglers
A coming lot of into other people party. were And starting some of them to clear looked
F
ouAMILIAR
t,
t
oo,
but .
there were still a few stragglers
coming into the party. And some of them looked
F
AMILIAR.
The rest of my family got out of the pool, but
I decided to stay put. I didn’t know if those
The teenagers rest of would my family recognize got me out or of not, the but pool, I but wasn’t
I willing decided to take to stay any
put. CHANCES
I didn’t .
know if those
teenagers would recognize me or not, but I wasn’t
willing to take any
CHANCES.
177
177
184

There were still a lot of people in the pool, so it
wasn’t that hard to stay hidden. But when those
There guys stepped were still in a the lot water, of people it got in the harder pool, for so me
it
wasn’t to stay that out of hard sight.
to stay hidden. But when those
guys stepped in the water, it got harder for me
to stay out of sight.
And my situation got a whole lot WORSE
when
the next two people showed up at the party.
And my situation got a whole lot
WO
RSE
when
the next two people showed up at the party.
178
178
185

I knew the camp director was looking for ME.
So I decided to go in the only direction I could,
I which knew was
the DOWN
camp .
director was looking for
ME.
So I decided to go in the only direction I could,
which was
DOWN.
I went to the bottom of the pool and sat there.
And I planned on STA
YING down there as long
I as went it took.
the bottom of the pool and sat there.
And I planned on
STA
YING
down there as long
as it took.
179
179
186

I was actually starting to run out of oxygen
when something WEIRD happened. There was
I a f
was lash actually of light, starting like someone to run taking out a of picture
oxygen
when underwater. something And WEIRD then everyone happened. started There getting
was
a out f
lash of the of light, pool.
like someone taking a picture
underwater. And then everyone started getting
out of the pool.
Ten seconds later it was empty except for
And that’s when I came to the surface.
Ten seconds later it was empty except for
And that’s when I came to the surface.
ME.
ME.
180
180
187

The first thing I noticed was the RAIN, which
was really coming down. Then LIGHTNING
The flashed first across thing the I sky, noticed and was that the explained RAIN
, why
which
was everyone really was coming such down. a hurry Then to LIGHTNING
get out of the pool.
f
lashed across the sky, and that explained why
everyone was in such a hurry to get out of the pool.
The teenagers and Juicebox were long gone, and
so was my FAMILY
. I really didn’t wanna get
The electrocuted, teenagers so and I figured J
uicebox I’d were better long gone, get out andof
so there, was my too.
FAMILY
. I really didn’t wanna get
electrocuted, so I figured I’d better get out of
there, I left too. the pool area and headed for the camper
van. But in the dark and the rain it was hard to
I see left where the I pool was area going.
and headed for the camper
van. But in the dark and the rain it was hard to
see where I was going.
181
181
188

There was a HUGE
crash of lightning, and it
sounded like it might’ve hit something nearby.
There was a HU
GE
crash of lightning, and it
sounded like it might’ve hit something nearby.
Then the air-raid siren at the lodge cranked up,
which made everything even more
STRESSFUL
.
Then the air-raid siren at the lodge cranked up,
which made everything even more
S
TRESSFUL
.
182
182
189

I realized that if I stayed outside much longer I
was gonna get burned to a CRISP. But nobody in
I any realized of the that deluxe if camper I stayed vans outside would much let me longer inside.
I
was gonna get burned to a
CRISP
. But nobody in
any of the deluxe camper vans would let me inside.
I finally made it to our camper van. And when I
opened the door my whole family was already there.
I finally made it to our camper van. And when I
opened the door my whole family was already there.
183
183
190

Mom
said she thought I’d run ahead to the
camper van when the rain started, and it was a
Mo MIRA m
said CLE
she I thought was OK
I’d .
run ahead to the
camper van when the rain started, and it was a
MIRA To be CLE honest I with was you, OK
. I felt the same way.
To That be storm honest came with at you, the I perfect felt the moment, same way. and I
almost felt like it was the work of a higher power.
That storm came at the perfect moment, and I
almost Or maybe felt it like was it just was one the big work cosmic
of a JOKE
higher .
power.
Or Because maybe if it there’s was just one one thing big I cosmic learned JOKE tonight, .
it’s that God has a sense of HUMOuR.
Because if there’s one thing I learned tonight,
it’s that God has a sense of HUM
OuR.
184
184
191

Wednesday
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be
Wednesday sprayed by a skunk, I can tell you from first-
If hand you’ve experience. ever wondered It feels what like you’ve it’s like gone
to BLIND
be ,
sprayed and your by eyes a skunk, sting like
I can CRAZY
tell you .
from first-
hand experience. It feels like you’ve gone
BLIND,
and your eyes sting like
CRAZY.
So you have to flush them with water, if you’re
lucky enough to have any nearby.
So you have to f
lush them with water, if you’re
lucky enough to have any nearby.
185
185
192

Once your vision improves, you start to notice
the SMELL, which is like a mix of rotten eggs
Once and
ro
your adkill
vision . And improves, you don’t you just
start SMELL
to notice it, you
the TAS
SMELL TE
it. But, , which trust is like me, a the mix best of rotten thing is eggs to
not and
get ro
adsprayed ki
ll
. And in you the
don’t FIRS
just T place. SM
ELL
it, you
TAS
TE
it. But, trust me, the best thing is to
not One get of the sprayed books in we the bought FIRSTat place. the camping
store
had a chapter on what you should do if you got
One sprayed of the by a books skunk. we But bought it wasn’t at the that cahelpful,
mp
ing
st
ore
had since a we chapter couldn’t on get what any you of should the ingredients do if you go untilt
sprayed the store by opened a skunk. in the But morning.
it wasn’t that helpful,
since we couldn’t get any of the ingredients until
the store opened in the morning.
186
186
193

We knew we couldn’t go to sleep smelling like
skunk, so we tried to find something to cover up
We the knew odour.
we couldn’t go to sleep smelling like
skunk, so we tried to find something to cover up
the Luckily, odour. there were a bunch of ketchup and
mustard packets in one of the drawers, and we
Luckily, rubbed the there condiments were a bunch all over of ourselves. ketchup and Manny
mustard found a bottle packets of in Uncle one of Gary’s the drawers, cologne between
and rubbed the seat the cushions, condiments but all that over stuff ourselves. smelled Manny almost as
found bad as a the
bottle SKUNK
of Uncle .
Gary’s cologne between
the seat cushions, but that stuff smelled almost as
bad as the
SK
UNK.
We all had a terrible night’s sleep, and when we
woke in the morning we realized it wasn’t just
We US
all that had stank. a terrible It was night’s everything sleep, and inside when the
we
woke camper in van, the morning too.
we realized it wasn’t just
US
that stank. It was everything inside the
camper van, too.
187
187
194

So we emptied the whole thing out. And it was
pretty clear we were gonna have to throw almost
So everything we emptied away, the especially whole thing our FOOD
out. And .
it was
pretty clear we were gonna have to throw almost
everything away, especially our
FOOD
.
Mom gave me money and sent me up to the camp
store to get the deskunking supplies and some
Mom groceries. gave But me money my and way sent up there me up I to could the tell
camp
store something to get wasn’t
the RIGHT
deskunking .
supplies and some
groceries. But on my way up there I could tell
something wasn’t
RIGHT.
188
188
195

By the time I got to the store, all the food was
GONE, and the shelves were practically bare. I
By was the lucky time there I got was to still the some store, hydrogen all the peroxide
food was
GONE and baking , and soda the left, shelves because were if practically I’d got bare. there
I
was a few lucky minutes there later was somebody still probably hydrogen would’ve
peroxide
and scooped baking them soda up, left, too.
because if I’d got there
a few minutes later somebody probably would’ve
scooped them up, too.
I tried to ask someone what was happening, but I
guess the ketchup and mustard weren’t doing their
I job tried of covering to ask up someone the skunk what smell.
was happening, but I
guess the ketchup and mustard weren’t doing their
job of covering up the skunk smell.
189
189
196

After I paid for my stuff and left, I ran into
DooDoo, who didn’t seem to even NOTICE
the
After way I I smelled.
paid for my stuff and left, I ran into
DooDoo, who didn’t seem to even
NOT
ICE
the
way He told I smelled.
the reason people were acting crazy
was because last night a bolt of lightning struck
He the told bridge me leading the reason to the people campsite, were acting and on
crazy e
was section because of the last bridge night was a bolt totally
of lightning DESTR
struck OYED.
the bridge leading to the campsite, and one
section of the bridge was totally
DES
TRO
YED.
He said the truck that brings supplies couldn’t get
on to the property, which explained why everyone
He was said snapping the truck up everything that brings at supplies the store.
couldn’t get
on to the property, which explained why everyone
190
was snapping up everything at the store.
190
197

But now I was the one who was panicking. Because
if nobody could get INto camp, that meant
But nobody now could I was get
the OUT
one , who either.
was panicking. Because
if nobody could get
INto
camp, that meant
nobody I ran back could to get tell O
UT Mom , either. and Dad what was going
on. But by then our neighbours had woken up,
I and ran apparently back to tell they Mom weren’t and Dad crazy what about was the
going
on. skunk But smell.
by then our neighbours had woken up,
and apparently they weren’t crazy about the
skunk smell.
I filled Mom and Dad in on the bridge situation.
Mom said the most important thing was that we
I didn’t
filled PANIC
Mom and , because Dad in that on the never bridge helps. situation. And she
Mom said that said the what most we should important be focused thing was on right that now
we
didn’t was getting P
ANICrid , because of this
that odoUr
never .
helps. And she
said that what we should be focused on right now
was getting rid of this
odoUr.
191
191
198

The deskunking instructions said to pour the baking
soda and hydrogen peroxide in a hot bath, but it’s
The not like deskunking there were instructions a bunch of said bathtubs to pour on the the
baking
soda campsite. and hydrogen So we used peroxide the next in best a hot thing. bath, And but it’s
not turns like out there dogs were don’t a like bunch the of smell bathtubs of skunk, on the either.
campsite. So we used the next best thing. And it
turns out dogs don’t like the smell of skunk, either.
We must’ve soaked in the hot tub for an hour. But
in the time it took to scrub our bodies and our
We clothes must’ve clean, soaked things the at camp hot tub had for gone
an T
hour. OTALL
But Y
in off the the time rails.
it took to scrub our bodies and our
clothes clean, things at camp had gone TOT
ALLY
off It the started rails. with the WATER
. When the camp
store ran out of water bottles, people used the
It tap started by the main with lodge the Wto A
TER fill up . When their containers.
the camp
store ran out of water bottles, people used the
192
tap by the main lodge to fill up their containers.
192
199

Some
people
took more than they needed, though,
and the well ran
DRY.
So
me p
eo
ple
took more than they needed, though,
and the well ran
D
RY
.
So then people got water from wherever they
could
FIND
it.
So then people got water from wherever they
could
FIND
it.
Things got REALLY
ugly when people ran out of
the coins they needed to operate the showers.
Things got
REALLY
ugly when people ran out of
the coins they needed to operate the showers.
193
193
200

So now quarters were like GOLD, and I heard
about a woman who sold her wedding ring for
So seventy-five now quarters cents.
were like
GOLD
, and I heard
about a woman who sold her wedding ring for
seventy-five cents.
Some people got frustrated they couldn’t get their
hands on any coins, so they raided the
ARCADE.
Some people got frustrated they couldn’t get their
hands on any coins, so they raided the
AR
CADE
.
194
194
201

People hit the laundrette next. And
I knew this
whole place was gonna stink after everybody ran
People out of hit clean the clothes.
laundrette next. And
I kn
ew t
his
whole
place
was gonna stink after everybody ran
ou
t o
f clean clothes.
Eventually someone got the bright idea to get
the water directly from the plastic tank above
Eventually the shower someone block.
got the bright idea to get
the water directly from the plastic tank above
the shower block.
195
195
202

The tank fell off the roof and rolled down the
hill, where it leaked out half the water before
The coming tank to a fell stop off at the one roof of and the sandpits. rolled down Then the the
hill, OTHER
where half it leaked emptied out out half into the the water sand.
before
coming to a stop at one of the sandpits. Then the
O
THER
half emptied out into the sand.
Now people were REALLY
freaking out and tried
to save what they could. But the sandpit turned
Now into QUICKSAND
people were R
EALL , and Ya freaking few people out actually
and tried
to had save to be
what RESCUED
they could. .
But the sandpit turned
into
QUICKSAND
, and a few people actually
had to be R
ESCUED.
196
196
203

Around dinnertime, everyone started getting
HUNGRY. Some people had enough food to last
Around them a few dinnertime, days, but everyone started else was getting counting
HUNG on getting RY
. their Some groceries people had from enough the camp food store.
last
them a few days, but everyone else was counting
on So getting things started their groceries to get a from little
the CRAZY
camp store. . A
bunch of people raided the snack shack, and
So one things person started stole a to giant get bag a little of food CRAZY from . the
A
bunch pet-friendly of people area.
raided the snack shack, and
one person stole a giant bag of food from the
pet-friendly area.
The animals must’ve got the sense that things
were getting out of control, so they banded
The TOGETHER
animals must’ve .
got the sense that things
were getting out of control, so they banded
T
OGETHER.
197
197
204

And when one of our neighbours fired up their
BBQ to cook some hamburgers, a pack of dogs
And made when its move.
one of our neighbours fired up their
BBQ
to cook some hamburgers, a pack of dogs
made its move.
A few people ate the leftover hot dogs from
the pool party, and the teenagers from the hill
A salvaged few people some ate of their leftover slingshot hot ammunition dogs fromdown
the at the pool field.
party, and the teenagers from the hill
salvaged some of their slingshot ammunition down
at the field.
198
198
205

I was more nerv
ous
than hungry. People
do
crazy things when they’re desperate, and I had
I no was idea more how ner bad things vo
uswould than get. hungry. So I Pe
op kept le dmy
o
crazy shirt off things to show when everyone they’re desperate, that I didn’t and have I had a
no lot idea of MEA
how T
bad on things me.
would get. So I kept my
shirt off to show everyone that I didn’t have a
lot of
MEAT
on me.
The other thing I was worried about was the
WEATHER
. Dad’s phone said another storm was
The coming other tonight, thing and I was that worried was the
about LAS
was T thing
the
WEA this place THERneeded.
. Dad’s phone said another storm was
coming tonight, and that was the
LAST
thing
this place needed.
199
199
206

Mom said everyone was OVERREACTING
, and
that by morning someone would repair the bridge
Mom and everything said everyone would was go O
VERREA back to normal.
CTING
, and
that by morning someone would repair the bridge
and But everything when night would fell things go back at to the normal. campsite got
a whole lot worse. And when one of the
But deluxe when camper night vans fell got things tipped at over the campsite by people got who
a thought whole lot they wowere rsehoarding . And when canned one food of the and
deluxe toilet paper camper inside, vans got Mom tipped finally over admitted by people things
who
thought were SERIOUS
they were .
hoarding canned food and
toilet paper inside, Mom finally admitted things
were
SERIOUS.
Now we ALL wanted to get out of this place,
but nobody could figure out HOW. And that’s
Now when we I ALL thought wanted of the
to get ST
REAM
out of .
this place,
but nobody could figure out
HOW
. And that’s
200
when I thought of the
ST
REAM
.
200
207

I remembered there was one part that was
really SHALLOW, and I said we might be able
I to remembered drive the camper there van was over one part the rocks that and was get
really to the SHALL other side.
OW
, and I said we might be able
to drive the camper van over the rocks and get
to the other side.
I thought everyone would say my idea was stupid,
but when a camper van two doors down got tipped
I over thought we were everyone ready to would try just say about
my idea ANYTHING
was stupid, .
but when a camper van two doors down got ti
pped
over we were ready to try just about
ANYTHING .
201
201
208

We didn’t wanna call a lot of attention to
ourselves by turning on the engine, so we pushed
We the didn’t camper wanna van off call the a lot pad of and attention down the to hill.
ourselves And, once by we turning got it on going, the engine, the camper so we van pushed really
the started
camper MO
van VING
off .
the pad and down the hill.
And, once we got it going, the camper van really
started
MO
VING.
The only problem was we forgot to detach the
sewer pipe before we got rolling, and it made a
The giant
only MESS
problem on our was site.
we forgot to detach the
sewer pipe
before we got rolling, and it made a
giant
MESS
on our site.
202
202
209

But there was no going back now, and when the
camper van started picking up speed we all climbed
But on board.
there was no going back now, and when the
camper van started picking up speed we all climbed
on board.
We coasted to the bottom of the hill, where the
lake emptied into the stream. And when we were
We far coasted enough away to the from bottom everyone of the else, hill, it where seemed the safe
lake to start emptied the into engine.
the stream. And when we were
far enough away from everyone else, it seemed safe
to We start kept the engine. headlights off because we didn’t want
anyone to SEE us. But that made it tricky to
We find kept the shallow the headlights spot in the off because stream.
we didn’t want
anyone to
SEE
us. But that made it tricky to
find the shallow spot in the stream.
203
203
210

By now it had started to RAIN, and it was
coming down pretty hard. But when we turned
By the
now head
it ligh
had ts started back on, to I RAIN finally , found and it the wasplace
coming where the down stream pretty was hard. shallow.
But when we turned
the
head
ligh
ts b
ack on, I finally found the place
where the stream was shallow.
Dad put his foot on the accelerator. We edged
out slowly, and for a minute it looked like we were
Dad gonna put be his able foot to make on the it accelerator. all the way across.
We edged
out slowly, and for a minute it looked like we were
gonna be able to make it all the way across.
204
204
211

But once we got to the middle of the stream
there was an awful sound, and the camper van
But ground once to we a halt.
got to the middle of the stream
there was an awful sound, and the camper van
ground to a halt.
We were stuck on a giant ROCK
, and something got
knocked loose from the bottom of the camper van.
We I’m were not stuck an expert on a giant on cars R
OCK or anything, , and something but,
got
knocked whatever loose that from thing the was, bottom it looked of the like camper it was
van.
I’m pretty
not IMPOR
an expert TAN
on T.
cars or anything, but,
whatever that thing was, it looked like it was
pretty
IMPORT
ANT
.
205
205
212

But it turned out that was the LEAST
of our
problems. The rain was getting a lot HEAV
IER,
But and all it turned of a sudden out that the was stream the wasn’t LEASso
T
of our
problems. SHALLOW
The any rain more.
was getting a lot H
EAV
IER,
and all of a sudden the stream wasn’t so
SHALL Now our OW sewage any hook-up more. was UNDERWATER
,
and it didn’t take long for the system to back up.
Now our sewage hook-up was
UNDERWA
TER,
and it didn’t take long for the system to back up.
The mess in the bathroom overflowed into the
main living area, and we scrambled to keep off
The the f
mess loor. in We the knew bathroom we couldn’t overf
lowed stay into inside the the
main camper living van, area, so we and tried we to scrambled get OUT
to . keep But by offnow
the water f
loor. in We the knew stream we couldn’t was moving stay so inside fast the it
camper wasn’t SAFE
van, so to we leave.
tried to get O
UT
. But by now
the
water in the stream was moving so fast it
206
wasn’t
SAFE
to leave.
206
213

The camper van was filling up with water, and we
had to climb even HIGHER. Rodrick pulled himself
The on to camper the roof van first, was filling and then up with helped water, the
and RES
we T
had of us to up climb to safety.
even
HIGHER
. Rodrick pulled himself
on to the roof first, and then helped the
REST
of us up to safety.
207
207
214

But once we were all on the roof the camper van
started to
turn.
But once we were all on the roof the camper van
started to
tu
rn
.
By now the stream was overflowing, and the camper
van
lifted free from the rock it was stuck on. Five
By seconds now the later stream we were was drifting overflo
wing downstream.
, and the camper
va
n
lifted free from the rock it was stuck on. Five
seconds later we were drifting downstream.
208
208
215

We were headed right for that BRIDGE. And, if
we had stayed where we were on the roof, that
We thin
were g would headed have right taken for our
that HEADS
BRIDGE off.
. And, if
we had stayed where we were on the roof, that
thin
g would have taken our H
EADS
off.
That’s when I noticed that some of the seat
cushions from the kitchen had floated outside
That’s the side when door. I I noticed jumped that first, some and of everyone the seatelse
cushions followed from my lead.
the kitchen had f
loated outside
the side door. I jumped first, and everyone else
followed my lead.
209
209
216

The only person who didn’t jump was MANNY. He
had climbed back down into the
camper
van
and
was
The sitting only in person the DRIVER
who didn’t ’ S seat.
jump was
MANNY
. He
had climbed back down into the
ca
mper
v
an a
nd w
as
sitting The rest in of the us DRIVER were freaking ’ S
seat. out, because the
camper van was about to hit the BRIDGE.
The rest of us were freaking out, because the
camper van was about to hit the
BRIDGE.
But at the last second Manny pulled the wheel
hard to the right, and the camper van started
But to TU
at RN
the . last And second when it Manny reached pulled the the bridge wheel the
hard camper to van the snapped right, and into the place camper like a van puzzle started piece.
to
TU
RN
. And when it reached the bridge the
210
camper van snapped into place like a puzzle piece.
210
217

Manny wasn’t finished, though. He grabbed
something out of the glove compartment, then he
Manny shot off wasn’t the flare finished, gun for the though. second He time grabbed this trip.
something out of the glove compartment, then he
Even shot off though the flare it was gun still for raining the second hard, time the this flare trip. lit
up the
sky.
A few minutes later we saw headlights
Even coming though our way. it was At first still raining I thought hard, people the f
lare were
lit
coming up t
he to s
kyRESCUE
.
A few minutes us. But later when we they saw headlights got to
coming the bridge our way. they At just first kept
I GO
thought ING.
people were
coming to
RESCUE
us. But when they got to
the bridge they just kept
GO
ING.
211
211
218

It took a full HOUR
to the other side.
It took a full
HOUR
212
to the other side.
for all the vehicles to cross
for all the vehicles to cross
212
219

And when the very last motorcyle drove over the
bridge, the only thing we could hear was the rain.
And when the very last motorcyle drove over the
bridge, the only thing we could hear was the rain.
213
213
220

Saturday
After the campsite emptied out, we were the only
Saturday ones LEFT. With all the people gone, we were
After finally the able campsite to enjoy emptied ourselves. out, And, we were for once,
the only
ones Campers’ LEFT Eden . With lived all up the to people its NAME
gone, .
we were
finally able to enjoy ourselves. And, for once,
Campers’ Eden lived up to its
NAME.
So all it took for this place to turn into paradise
was for everyone else to
So all it took for this place to turn into paradise
was Two for days everyone after the else storm, LEAthe VEdelivery . truck came
back to supply the camp store. And that night
214
LEAVE
.
Two we ate days like
after KINGS
the .
storm, the delivery truck came
back to supply the camp store. And that night
214
we ate like
KINGS.
221

We had the whole lake to ourselves, too. And,
since the water was nice and deep, we actually had
We FUN
had .
the whole lake to ourselves, too. And,
since the water was nice and deep, we actually had
FUN.
215
215
222

I don’t wanna be corny or anything, but we
actually did make a few happy memories during
I our don’t stay.
wanna be corny or anything, but we
actually
did
make a few happy memories during
our stay.
But I just wanna point out that I was right,
because it took a miracle for it to happen.
But I just wanna point out that I was right,
because I’m not it sure took we a needed miracle to for go it through to happen. all that
DRAMA, though. So maybe the next time we do
I’m something not sure as a we family, needed we to can go st
through ick
with
all som
that ething
DRAMA boring
,, though. like minig
So olf.
maybe the next time we do
something as a family, we can st
ick
wi
th s
om
et
hi
ng
216
boring
, like minigol
f.
216
223

I’m really looking forward to telling Rowley about
my holiday when I get back. But I’ ll probably
I’m leave really out the looking parts forward that weren’t to telling so great.
Rowley about
my holiday when I get back. But I’
ll probably
leave And I out might the parts change that a few weren’t other so details great. here and
there, because you should never let the truth get
And in the I way might of a change good story.
a few other details here and
there, because you should never let the truth get
in the way of a good story.
217
217
224

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thanks to all the Afans CKNO who WLEDGEMENTS
ha ve made m y dream of becoming a
cartoonist a reality.
Thanks to my wife, Julie, and to my whole family
Thanks for cheering to all me the on fans through who deadlines.
ha
ve made m
y dream of becoming a
cartoonist a reality.
Thanks to m
y wife,
Julie,
and to my whole family
for Thanks cheering to Charlie me on K
thr ochman ough deadlines. for being m y partner in crime for all
these years, and for your dedication to making great books. Thanks
Thanks to ev er
to yone Charlie at Abrams,
K
ochman including for being Michael m
y par Jacobs,
tner in Andr
crime ew for Smith,
all
these Hallie years, Patterson,
and for Melanie y
our dedication Chang, Kim to Lauber
making , Mar
great y O’Mara,
books.
Thanks Alison
to Ger
ev vais er
yone and Elisa at
Abrams, Gonzalez.
including Thanks Michael also to Jacobs, Susan V
Andr an Metre ew Smith, and
Hallie Steve Roman.
Patterson,
Melanie Chang,
Kim Lauber,
Mar
y O’Mara,
Alison
Ger
vais and Elisa Gonzalez.
Thanks also to Susan V
an Metre and
Stev Thanks e Roman. to the Wimpy Kid team (Shae’Vana!):
Shaelyn Germain,
Vanessa Jedrej and Anna Cesary.
Thanks to Deb Sundin, Kym Havens,
Thanks and the incredible to the
Wimpy team at
Kid An team Unlikely (Shae’V Story
ana!): .
Shael
yn Germain,
V
anessa Jedrej and
Anna Cesary.
Thanks to Deb Sundin, K
ym Hav
ens,
and Thanks the to incredible Rich Carr team and
at Andrea Unlik Luce
ely y Stor for your y.
outstanding support.
Thanks to Paul Sennott for your expert advice.
Thanks to Sylvie
Thanks Rabineau to and Rich K
Carr eith Fleer and
Andrea for ever
Luce ything y for your do outstanding for me.
Thanks support. to
Thanks Roland P
to oindexter
Paul Sennott , Ralph for Millero
y
our ,
exper Vanessa t advice Morrison .
Thanks and to Michael
Sylvie
Rabineau Musgrave and for bringing K
eith Fleer fresh for excitement ever
ything to you the Wimpy
do f
or me World.
.
Thanks to
Roland P
oindexter,
Ralph Millero,
V
anessa Morrison and Michael
Musgra As alwa
ve ys,
for thanks bringing to Jess fr
esh Brallier excitement for your to friendship the
Wimpy and W
orld. support.
As alwa
ys,
thanks to Jess Brallier for y
our friendship and support.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeff Kinney is a #1
ABOUT New York
Times
THE bestselling AUTHOR author and a six-time
Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Award winner for Favourite Book. Jeff has
Jeff been Kinne named y is one a #1 of
New Time Y
ork magazine’
Times
bestselling s 100 Most author Influential and a People six-time in
Nick the W
elodeon orld. He Kids’ is also Choice the Acr
ward eator winner of Poptr
for opica,
Fav
ourite which Book. was Jeff named
has
been one of
named Time’
one s 50 of Best
TimeW
magazine’ ebsites. He s 100 spent Most his Infchildhood luential People in the
in
the Washington,
W
orld.
He D.C
is .,
also area the and cr moved eator of to Poptr New England opica,
which in 1995.
was Jeff named lives
one with of his Time wife ’
s and 50 tw
Best o sons W
ebsites. in Massachusetts,
He spent his wher
childhood e they own in thea
Wbookstore,
ashington, An D.C
Unlik .,
ar
ely ea and Stor
moved y.
to Ne
w England in 1995. J
eff lives
with his wife and tw
o sons in Massachusetts,
wher
e they own a
bookstore,
An Unlik
ely Story.
225

wimpykidclub.co.uk
226

227

Table of Contents
The Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series 3
Title Page 4
Copyright 5
Dedication 6
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Deep End 8
Acknowledgements 225
About the Author 225
228