Booktree.ngIt-Starts-with-Us-Colleen-Hoover

I’d never admit any of this out loud because people like Theo would say
I’m getting ahead of myself, but the truth is, I’m years behind where I want
to be with Lily. Where I could have been with her.
This is a hugely significant day, even if I don’t see Emerson again for
months. This could be the first day I’m spending with someone who might
one day end up becoming my daughter.
I brush thin strands of strawberry hair behind Emerson’s ear and try to
understand where some of Ryle’s anger is coming from. He can’t be
clueless to what Lily moving on would mean for his relationship with
Emerson. Lily has Emerson the majority of the time, so whoever Lily
chooses to bring into her life will also be around Emerson that same amount
of time.
I’m not excusing Ryle’s behavior by any means. If I had my way, he’d
get a job offer in Sudan, and we’d only have to deal with him once a year.
But that’s not the reality here. Ryle lives in the same city as his daughter,
and his ex-wife is moving on with someone else. That can’t be easy on
anyone. While I can understand how difficult it probably is for him, I’ll
never understand his failure to recognize that it’s no one’s fault but his own.
If he would have been a more mature, more rational man, Lily never would
have left him. He’d have his wife and his daughter, and me and Lily
wouldn’t even be in contact.
I’m worried for Lily. I’m worried Ryle is a little bit like my mother, and
that he’s going to retaliate by fighting for the sake of fighting, and for no
other reason.
“Have you ever made a report against Ryle?” I ask, looking at Lily. She’s
sitting on the floor next to me, watching Emerson sleep on my leg.
“No.” There’s a drop of shame in Lily’s response.
“Do the two of you have a custody agreement?”
She nods. “I have full custody, but it comes with stipulations. Because of
his schedule, I’m required to be flexible, but technically he gets her two
days a week.”
“He pays child support?”
She nods. “He does. He’s never been late.”
I’m relieved he at least provides her that, but knowing the answers to
these questions is making Lily’s situation seem even more precarious.
“Why?” she asks.