Ruthless Creatures by J.T. Geissinger

God, why do you hate me? Was it something I did? Do you
disapprove of all the vibrators?
I exhale a slow breath. Chris exhales a hard one.
“To be honest, I thought breaking up with you might, you
know, light a fire under your ass. Make you realize that maybe
you shouldn’t take us for granted. I mean, we get along really,
really well.”
Yes, we do. I also get along really well with my dog, my
gay hairdresser, and the eighty-year-old librarian at school.
None of whom I’m interested in having sex with, either.
I say gently, “I think you’re a great guy, Chris. And that’s
the honest truth. You were right when you said I was living in
the past—”
He closes his eyes and sighs. “That was such an asshole
move.”
“—and I don’t blame you for not wanting to waste your
time with someone so…so damaged. In fact, I was thinking
maybe I could set you up with my friend Marybeth.”
He opens his eyes and squints at me. “The one who looks
Amish?”
I’ve got to talk to that woman about her wardrobe.
“She’s not Amish. She’s really great. She’s smart and
sweet, and I think you guys would hit it off. Do you think you
might be interested?”
He’s giving me a strange look. I can’t identify it, until he
says crossly, “No, Nat. I’m not interested. I came here to tell
you I still have feelings for you, and that I made a mistake in
breaking it off.”
Well, shit.
“I’m so sorry. Um. I don’t know what to say.”
“You can say you’ll let me take you out to dinner tonight.”
We stare at each other in uncomfortable silence, until I say,
“I think I’m going to have to pass.”