Ruthless Creatures by J.T. Geissinger

“Oh, come on! You would not!”
“Have you even met me? I totally would! If he would’ve
been into me, I was ready to leave with him at the bar the other
night without even knowing his damn name!”
“I think it’s time you seriously reexamine your life
choices.”
She scoffs. “Listen to me, Sister Teresa—”
“It’s Mother Teresa, and stop comparing me to frickin’
nuns.”
“—that man is not the man you pass up when he offers you
a ride on his elephant.”
I stop pacing long enough to look at the ceiling and shake
my head.
She’s still talking.
“With that level of dirty-talk game right out of the gate, I’ll
bet you a million bucks he’d give you thirty orgasms within
ten minutes if you slept with him.”
“You don’t have a million dollars, and that’s not even
physically possible.”
“It is with him. Hell, I could get off a dozen times alone
just by looking at him. That face! That body! Jesus, Natalie, he
could melt the polar ice caps with a look, and you turned him
down?”
“Calm down.”
“I will not. I’m indignant on behalf of sex-starved women
everywhere.”
“Excuse me, but the only sex-starved person on this phone
call is me.”
“My point is that he’s a once-in-a-lifetime fuck. You could
be having lovely daydreams about him at eighty when you’re
in your rocking chair in the nursing home, soiling your
diapers. Instead, you’re out here acting like you’re constantly
being showered with prime sausages like confetti.”