Ruthless Creatures by J.T. Geissinger

She’s unimpressed. “Puh. He’s a man. Just withhold sex
for a week or two and he’ll never lie again.”
“It’s inappropriate to punish someone by withholding sex.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s the most powerful tool in your
arsenal.”
“What’s going to happen when you find someone you
really care about, Sloane?”
“Dear god. You’re not still beating that dead horse, are
you?”
“I am. I know you just haven’t met your match yet.”
“That’s because you were brain damaged from that time
when you were six when you fell off your bike and hit your
head on the curb.”
“I was wearing a helmet.”
“Whatever. You haven’t been the same since. I tried to
convince your parents to pull the plug, but they’d gotten
attached to you and refused. Idiots.”
I realize I’m smiling. “I never went into the hospital, but
thanks for the love.”
“You’re welcome. And I know you’re smiling right now,
so don’t even try to pretend you’re hurt that I find your
ridiculous love life entertaining.”
“Speaking of love lives, how’s Brad Pitt, Jr.?”
She pauses. “Who?”
“The hot blond guy you met in the Uber rideshare.”
“Oh. Him. Rear view mirror, babe.”
The more things change, the more they stay the same. “I
miss you.”
“Miss you, too. Come back soon. This dog of yours is the
most boring animal on the planet. All he does is sleep.”
“Would you be surprised if I told you he attacked Viktor
the assassin who was sent to kill me?”