Ruthless Creatures by J.T. Geissinger

“Yes. He also has a new wife. Oh—I skipped ahead.
David’s alive. I found him in Panama.”
Sloane starts to laugh. “Of course you did. Holy infant
baby Jesus.”
“He had another wife, too, before this new one. He was
married to some Sicilian mafia princess the whole time we
were together. And he had two kids. Can you believe that?
He’s a bigamist!”
Sloan laughs harder.
I say sourly, “Excuse me, this is my life we’re talking
about here. It isn’t funny.”
“Babe, this is the funniest shit I’ve heard since we were
twelve and you got that tampon wedged so far up your cooter
your dad had to take you to the emergency room to get it out.”
“It was my first period! I didn’t know how to use them
right! And why aren’t you worried about my mental state? I
was almost killed! I’m having a breakdown over here!”
She sighs. I imagine her wiping tears of laughter from her
eyes and getting her face all buttery from the popcorn.
“You’re not having a breakdown. But I don’t blame you
for being upset. All that time and that tightwad David was
actually loaded. What a massive butthole.”
I rub my temples, shaking my head in disbelief. “Aren’t
you going to ask where I am now?”
“You’re with Kage, obviously.”
“Why obviously?”
“Because even though you were almost killed, and your
dead fiancé isn’t actually dead, just a dickwad, and god knows
whatever else you haven’t told me yet, you’re fine. And the
only time you’ve been fine in the past five years is when
you’re with him.”
My throat gets tight. So does my stomach. I say in a small
voice, “He lied to me.”