Ruthless Creatures by J.T. Geissinger

“What, you think you’ll get fired for loose morals? You’re
practically a nun.”
“Exaggerate much?”
“No. You’ve dated three guys in the last five years, none of
whom you had sex with. At least if you were a nun, you’d get
to have sex with Jesus.”
“I don’t think that’s how that works. Also, I have plenty of
sex. With myself. And my battery-operated friends.
Relationships are just too complicated.”
“I hardly think your short, sexless, emotionless
entanglements can be called relationships. You have to fuck a
guy for it to qualify. And maybe, like, feel something for him.”
I shrug. “If I found one I liked, I would.”
She gazes at me, knowing my problem with men has less
to do with not meeting someone I connect with and more to do
with not being able to connect with anyone at all. But she cuts
me a break and moves on.
“Speaking of fucking, your new neighbor is over there
looking at you like you’re his next meal.”
“Literally. And not in the good way. He makes great white
sharks seem friendly.”
“Don’t be so negative. Damn, he’s smoking hot. Don’t you
think?”
I resist the surprisingly strong urge to turn and look in the
direction Sloane is looking and take another sip of my wine
instead. “He’s not my type.”
“Babe, that man is every woman’s type. Don’t try to lie to
me and tell me you can’t hear your ovaries moaning.”
“Give me a minute to breathe. I got dumped only half an
hour ago.”
She snorts. “Yeah, and you seem really broken up about it.
Next excuse?”
“Remind me why you’re my best friend again?”