Under_The_Whispering_Door_by_TJ_Klune

SECTION VMCDLI
NOW IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE!
This introductory guide to reaping is by no means all there is to know about
your new position. While meant to give you the tools you need to be a
success, it should be understood that HUMAN BEINGS are complicated and can
be RUDE, CONTRADICTORY, AND SOMETIMES SMELLY. But the tools you have
learned from this first volume will provide you with the means to begin the
job for which you were hired.
You matter. You would not be reading this if you didn’t. While you are
being held to a high standard, the faith that has been placed in you should not
be taken lightly. You are a GOOD PERSON CAPABLE OF DOING GOOD THINGS,
MEIYING.
That being said, a word of caution: Any deviation from this guide or any
that follow may result in consequences. Depending on the nature of the
violation, said consequences could include termination or being dismantled
on a subatomic level. While it is understood that every situation is different,
there is an order to life and death that must not be interrupted. If that happens,
it could lead to the DESTRUCTION OF PLANET EARTH.
We hope you have enjoyed this introduction. Please take the next fifteen
minutes to process what you have learned, and to write down any questions
you might have. If there are questions, you may submit them to the Manager
using form Q6G-97Z, and you will receive a timely response within TEN
MONTHS.
Congratulations! You have reached the end of Volume I. After you have
taken your allotted break to DRINK JUICE AND CONTEMPLATE THE MYSTERIES
OF THE UNIVERSE, please proceed to Volume II, where you will learn all
about the exciting history of reaping on PLANET EARTH, including one of the
first Reapers, a NEANDERTHAL named *ERROR CODE ALC-FMG-600-010*.
And remember: Death may be a business, but we are a family. And
families never, ever question those in charge.