The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
“The relationship, it’s fake. We’re not really dating. We’repretending so people will think that we’re dating.”Malcolm’s hands stopped mid-chop. “What?”“You heard me.”“Is it a . . . friends-with-benefits arrangement? Because—”“No. It’s the opposite. There are no benefits. Zero benefits.Zero sex. Zero friends, too.”He stared at her, narrow-eyed. “To be clear, oral and buttstuff totally counts as sex—”“Malcolm.”He took a step closer, grabbing a dishrag to wipe his hands,nostrils flaring. “I’m scared to ask.”“I know it sounds ridiculous. He’s helping me out bypretending we’re together because I lied to Anh, and I needher to feel okay about dating Jeremy. It’s all fake. Adam and Ihave talked exactly”—she decided on the spot to omit anyinformation pertinent to The Night—“three times, and I knownothing about him. Except that he’s willing to help me handlethis situation, and I jumped at the chance.”Malcolm was making that face, the one he reserved forpeople who wore sandals paired with white socks. He could bea little scary, she had to admit.“This is . . . wow.” There was a vein pulsating on hisforehead. “Ol, this is breathtakingly stupid.”“Maybe.” Yes. Yes, it was. “But it is what it is. And youhave to support me in my idiocy, because you and Anh are mybest friends.”“Isn’t Carlsen your best friend now?”“Come on, Malcolm. He’s an ass. But he’s actually beenpretty nice to me, and—”
“I’m not even—” He grimaced. “I’m not going to addressthis.”She sighed. “Okay. Don’t address this. You don’t have to.But can you just not hate me? Please? I know he’s been anightmare to half the grads in the program, you included. Buthe’s helping me out. You and Anh are the only ones I careabout knowing the truth. But I can’t tell Anh—”“—for obvious reasons.”“—for obvious reasons,” she finished at the same time, andsmiled. He just shook his head disapprovingly, but hisexpression had softened.“Ol. You’re amazing. And kind, way too kind. You shouldfind someone better than Carlsen. Someone to date for real.”“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes. “Because it went so wellwith Jeremy. Who, by the way, I only agreed to date followingyour advice! ‘Give the boy a chance,’ you said. ‘What couldpossibly go wrong?’ you said.”Malcolm glared, and she laughed.“Listen, I’m clearly bad at real dating. Maybe fake datingwill be different. Maybe I’ve found my niche.”He sighed. “Does it have to be Carlsen? There are betterfaculty members to fake-date.”“Like who?”“I don’t know. Dr. McCoy?”“Didn’t her wife just give birth to triplets?”“Oh, yeah. What about Holden Rodrigues? He’s hot. Cutesmile, too. I would know—he always smiles at me.”Olive burst into laughter. “I could never fake-date Dr.Rodrigues, not with how assiduously you’ve been thirstingafter him for the past two years.”
- Page 24 and 25: good night.”“Wait!” She leane
- Page 26 and 27: “But it wasn’t my worst, either
- Page 28: Any rumor regarding my love life wi
- Page 32 and 33: “Dr. Carlsen.”Dammit, dammit, d
- Page 34 and 35: she could find, petrified. She was
- Page 36 and 37: horrible at it, which meant that ea
- Page 38 and 39: ago—and Olive immediately underst
- Page 40: “Oh. Oh, no.” That would be way
- Page 43 and 44: caught Anh kissing Adam Carlsen, sh
- Page 45: that she didn’t even flip her off
- Page 48 and 49: “I cannot believe it.”“Believ
- Page 50 and 51: This was the worst. The absolute wo
- Page 52 and 53: It was true that Anh had seemed hap
- Page 54 and 55: seemed insane.“You mean . . . for
- Page 56 and 57: probably whacked someone on the hea
- Page 58 and 59: “What do people who are dating do
- Page 60: over you and am not involved in you
- Page 63 and 64: “About you.”“Oh.” Olive’s
- Page 65 and 66: “Though, I’ve been thinking abo
- Page 67 and 68: sexual intercourse between the two
- Page 69 and 70: “For this to work we should proba
- Page 71: talk about. Their ten-minute coffee
- Page 76 and 77: “I have, haven’t I? Did I ever
- Page 78 and 79: Olive nodded again. When a single t
- Page 80 and 81: little unsettling, the realization
- Page 82 and 83: Olive smiled back, gesturing at Ada
- Page 84 and 85: herring for breakfast on the reg. M
- Page 87 and 88: WAS LATE for her second fake-dating
- Page 89 and 90: “I worked.”They got in line to
- Page 91 and 92: department chair this morning. He
- Page 93 and 94: “Is that so?”“Mmm.”His mout
- Page 95 and 96: “The time difference screwed me u
- Page 97 and 98: that he wasn’t planning to. Olive
- Page 99 and 100: “That is, I, um . . . never put t
- Page 101 and 102: “What kind of question is that?
- Page 103 and 104: “Who?”“Tom,” Adam said, a t
- Page 105 and 106: Olive had no idea he was giving a t
- Page 107: Adam laughed silently just as Tom s
- Page 110 and 111: “Hey—sorry.” She gestured in
- Page 112 and 113: Because millions of dollars in rese
- Page 114 and 115: torso. He didn’t say anything but
- Page 116 and 117: pitch her voice. “Or do you maybe
- Page 118 and 119: Cherie just standing there, chattin
- Page 120 and 121: “Because you moved the truck. I
- Page 122 and 123: this time with the sleeve of his sh
“I’m not even—” He grimaced. “I’m not going to address
this.”
She sighed. “Okay. Don’t address this. You don’t have to.
But can you just not hate me? Please? I know he’s been a
nightmare to half the grads in the program, you included. But
he’s helping me out. You and Anh are the only ones I care
about knowing the truth. But I can’t tell Anh—”
“—for obvious reasons.”
“—for obvious reasons,” she finished at the same time, and
smiled. He just shook his head disapprovingly, but his
expression had softened.
“Ol. You’re amazing. And kind, way too kind. You should
find someone better than Carlsen. Someone to date for real.”
“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes. “Because it went so well
with Jeremy. Who, by the way, I only agreed to date following
your advice! ‘Give the boy a chance,’ you said. ‘What could
possibly go wrong?’ you said.”
Malcolm glared, and she laughed.
“Listen, I’m clearly bad at real dating. Maybe fake dating
will be different. Maybe I’ve found my niche.”
He sighed. “Does it have to be Carlsen? There are better
faculty members to fake-date.”
“Like who?”
“I don’t know. Dr. McCoy?”
“Didn’t her wife just give birth to triplets?”
“Oh, yeah. What about Holden Rodrigues? He’s hot. Cute
smile, too. I would know—he always smiles at me.”
Olive burst into laughter. “I could never fake-date Dr.
Rodrigues, not with how assiduously you’ve been thirsting
after him for the past two years.”
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