The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
There was a certainty, a finality in his tone that took her bysurprise. She could only nod, even though she wanted toprotest that he couldn’t possibly know, even though a millionquestions surfaced in her mind. Ninety-nine percent of themwere inappropriate and not her business, so she shooed themaway.“Okay. Fourth. We obviously can’t keep on doing thisforever, so we should give ourselves a deadline.”His lips pressed together. “When would that be?”“I’m not sure. A month or so would probably be enough toconvince Anh that I’m firmly over Jeremy. But it might not beenough on your end, so . . . you tell me.”He mulled it, and then nodded once. “September twentyninth.”It was a little over a month from now. But also . . . “That’sa weirdly specific date.” Olive racked her head, trying tofigure out why it could be meaningful. The only thing thatcame to mind was that she’d be in Boston that week for theannual biology conference.“It’s the day after the department’s final budget review. Ifthey don’t release my funds by then, they won’t release themat all.”“I see. Well, then, let’s agree that on September twentyninthwe part ways. I’ll tell Anh that our breakup wasamicable but that I’m a little sad about it because I still have abit of a crush on you.” She grinned at him. “Just so she won’tsuspect that I’m still hung up on Jeremy. Okay.” She took adeep breath. “Fifth and last.”This was the tricky one. The one she was afraid he’d objectto. She noticed that she was wringing her hands and placedthem firmly in her lap.
“For this to work we should probably . . . do thingstogether. Every once in a while.”“Things?”“Things. Stuff.”“Stuff,” he repeated dubiously.“Yep. Stuff. What do you do for fun?” He was probablyinto something atrocious, like cow-tipping excursions orJapanese beetle fighting. Maybe he collected porcelain dolls.Maybe he was an avid geocacher. Maybe he frequented vapingconventions. Oh God.“Fun?” he repeated, like he’d never heard the word before.“Yeah. What do you do when you’re not at work?”The length of time that passed between Olive’s questionand his answer was alarming. “Sometimes I work at home,too. And I work out. And I sleep.”She had to actively stop herself from face-palming. “Um,great. Anything else?”“What do you do for fun?” he asked, somewhatdefensively.“Plenty of things. I . . .” Go to the movies. Though shehadn’t been since the last time Malcolm had dragged her. Playboard games. But every single one of her friends was too busylately, so not that, either. She’d participated in that volleyballtournament, but it had been over a year ago.“Um. I work out?” She would have loved to wipe thatsmug expression off his face. So much. “Whatever. We shoulddo something together on a regular basis. I don’t know, maybeget coffee? Like, once a week? Just for ten minutes, at a placewhere people could easily see us. I know it sounds annoyingand like a waste of time, but it’ll be super short, and it wouldmake the fake dating more credible, and—”
- Page 18 and 19: When given a choice between A (a sl
- Page 20 and 21: to be held for any length of time,
- Page 22 and 23: feature of humanity, could never un
- Page 24 and 25: good night.”“Wait!” She leane
- Page 26 and 27: “But it wasn’t my worst, either
- Page 28: Any rumor regarding my love life wi
- Page 32 and 33: “Dr. Carlsen.”Dammit, dammit, d
- Page 34 and 35: she could find, petrified. She was
- Page 36 and 37: horrible at it, which meant that ea
- Page 38 and 39: ago—and Olive immediately underst
- Page 40: “Oh. Oh, no.” That would be way
- Page 43 and 44: caught Anh kissing Adam Carlsen, sh
- Page 45: that she didn’t even flip her off
- Page 48 and 49: “I cannot believe it.”“Believ
- Page 50 and 51: This was the worst. The absolute wo
- Page 52 and 53: It was true that Anh had seemed hap
- Page 54 and 55: seemed insane.“You mean . . . for
- Page 56 and 57: probably whacked someone on the hea
- Page 58 and 59: “What do people who are dating do
- Page 60: over you and am not involved in you
- Page 63 and 64: “About you.”“Oh.” Olive’s
- Page 65 and 66: “Though, I’ve been thinking abo
- Page 67: sexual intercourse between the two
- Page 71: talk about. Their ten-minute coffee
- Page 74 and 75: “The relationship, it’s fake. W
- Page 76 and 77: “I have, haven’t I? Did I ever
- Page 78 and 79: Olive nodded again. When a single t
- Page 80 and 81: little unsettling, the realization
- Page 82 and 83: Olive smiled back, gesturing at Ada
- Page 84 and 85: herring for breakfast on the reg. M
- Page 87 and 88: WAS LATE for her second fake-dating
- Page 89 and 90: “I worked.”They got in line to
- Page 91 and 92: department chair this morning. He
- Page 93 and 94: “Is that so?”“Mmm.”His mout
- Page 95 and 96: “The time difference screwed me u
- Page 97 and 98: that he wasn’t planning to. Olive
- Page 99 and 100: “That is, I, um . . . never put t
- Page 101 and 102: “What kind of question is that?
- Page 103 and 104: “Who?”“Tom,” Adam said, a t
- Page 105 and 106: Olive had no idea he was giving a t
- Page 107: Adam laughed silently just as Tom s
- Page 110 and 111: “Hey—sorry.” She gestured in
- Page 112 and 113: Because millions of dollars in rese
- Page 114 and 115: torso. He didn’t say anything but
- Page 116 and 117: pitch her voice. “Or do you maybe
There was a certainty, a finality in his tone that took her by
surprise. She could only nod, even though she wanted to
protest that he couldn’t possibly know, even though a million
questions surfaced in her mind. Ninety-nine percent of them
were inappropriate and not her business, so she shooed them
away.
“Okay. Fourth. We obviously can’t keep on doing this
forever, so we should give ourselves a deadline.”
His lips pressed together. “When would that be?”
“I’m not sure. A month or so would probably be enough to
convince Anh that I’m firmly over Jeremy. But it might not be
enough on your end, so . . . you tell me.”
He mulled it, and then nodded once. “September twentyninth.”
It was a little over a month from now. But also . . . “That’s
a weirdly specific date.” Olive racked her head, trying to
figure out why it could be meaningful. The only thing that
came to mind was that she’d be in Boston that week for the
annual biology conference.
“It’s the day after the department’s final budget review. If
they don’t release my funds by then, they won’t release them
at all.”
“I see. Well, then, let’s agree that on September twentyninth
we part ways. I’ll tell Anh that our breakup was
amicable but that I’m a little sad about it because I still have a
bit of a crush on you.” She grinned at him. “Just so she won’t
suspect that I’m still hung up on Jeremy. Okay.” She took a
deep breath. “Fifth and last.”
This was the tricky one. The one she was afraid he’d object
to. She noticed that she was wringing her hands and placed
them firmly in her lap.
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