The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
He glared at her.Olive shrugged. “No offense. I’m a simple girl, with simpleneeds.”To that, he lowered his gaze to his desk, but not beforeOlive could see the corner of his mouth twitch. When helooked up again, his expression was serious. “So, have youdecided?”She pressed her lips together as he watched her calmly. Shetook a deep breath before saying, “Yes. Yes, I . . . I want to doit. It’s a good idea, actually.”For so many reasons. It would get Anh and Jeremy off herback, but also . . . also everyone else. It was as if since therumor had begun to spread, people had been too intimidatedby Olive to give her the usual shit. The other TAs had quittrying to switch her nice 2:00 p.m. sections with theirhorrifying 8:00 a.m. ones, her lab mates had stopped cutting infront of her in the line for the microscope, and two differentfaculty members Olive had been trying to get ahold of forweeks had finally deigned to answer her emails. It felt a littleunfair to exploit this huge misunderstanding, but academiawas a lawless land and Olive’s life in it had been nothing butmiserable for the past two years. She had learned to grabwhatever she could get away with. And if some—okay, if mostof the grads in the department looked at her suspiciouslybecause she was dating Adam Carlsen, so be it. Her friendsseemed to be largely fine with this, if a little bemused.Except for Malcolm. He’d been shunning her like she hadthe pox for three solid days. But Malcolm was Malcolm—he’dcome around.“Very well, then.” He was completely expressionless—almost too expressionless. Like it was no big deal and hedidn’t care either way; like if she’d said no, it wouldn’t havechanged anything for him.
“Though, I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”He waited patiently for her to continue.“And I think that it would be best if we laid down someground rules. Before starting.”“Ground rules?”“Yes. You know. What we are allowed and not allowed todo. What we can expect from this arrangement. I think that’spretty standard protocol, before embarking on a fake-datingrelationship.”He tilted his head. “Standard protocol?”“Yup.”“How many times have you done this?”“Zero. But I am familiar with the trope.”“The . . . what?” He blinked at her, confused.Olive ignored him. “Okay.” She inhaled deeply and liftedher index finger. “First of all, this should be a strictly oncampusarrangement. Not that I think you’d want to meet meoff campus, but just in case you were planning to kill two birdswith one stone, I’m not going to be your last-minute backup ifyou need to bring a date home for Christmas, or—”“Hanukkah.”“What?”“My family is more likely to celebrate Hanukkah thanChristmas.” He shrugged. “Though I’m unlikely to celebrateeither.”“Oh.” Olive pondered it for a moment. “I guess this issomething your fake girlfriend should know.”The ghost of a smile appeared on his mouth, but he saidnothing.
- Page 14 and 15: “Are you planning to enroll?” h
- Page 16 and 17: She could hear his smile.“I’ll
- Page 18 and 19: When given a choice between A (a sl
- Page 20 and 21: to be held for any length of time,
- Page 22 and 23: feature of humanity, could never un
- Page 24 and 25: good night.”“Wait!” She leane
- Page 26 and 27: “But it wasn’t my worst, either
- Page 28: Any rumor regarding my love life wi
- Page 32 and 33: “Dr. Carlsen.”Dammit, dammit, d
- Page 34 and 35: she could find, petrified. She was
- Page 36 and 37: horrible at it, which meant that ea
- Page 38 and 39: ago—and Olive immediately underst
- Page 40: “Oh. Oh, no.” That would be way
- Page 43 and 44: caught Anh kissing Adam Carlsen, sh
- Page 45: that she didn’t even flip her off
- Page 48 and 49: “I cannot believe it.”“Believ
- Page 50 and 51: This was the worst. The absolute wo
- Page 52 and 53: It was true that Anh had seemed hap
- Page 54 and 55: seemed insane.“You mean . . . for
- Page 56 and 57: probably whacked someone on the hea
- Page 58 and 59: “What do people who are dating do
- Page 60: over you and am not involved in you
- Page 63: “About you.”“Oh.” Olive’s
- Page 67 and 68: sexual intercourse between the two
- Page 69 and 70: “For this to work we should proba
- Page 71: talk about. Their ten-minute coffee
- Page 74 and 75: “The relationship, it’s fake. W
- Page 76 and 77: “I have, haven’t I? Did I ever
- Page 78 and 79: Olive nodded again. When a single t
- Page 80 and 81: little unsettling, the realization
- Page 82 and 83: Olive smiled back, gesturing at Ada
- Page 84 and 85: herring for breakfast on the reg. M
- Page 87 and 88: WAS LATE for her second fake-dating
- Page 89 and 90: “I worked.”They got in line to
- Page 91 and 92: department chair this morning. He
- Page 93 and 94: “Is that so?”“Mmm.”His mout
- Page 95 and 96: “The time difference screwed me u
- Page 97 and 98: that he wasn’t planning to. Olive
- Page 99 and 100: “That is, I, um . . . never put t
- Page 101 and 102: “What kind of question is that?
- Page 103 and 104: “Who?”“Tom,” Adam said, a t
- Page 105 and 106: Olive had no idea he was giving a t
- Page 107: Adam laughed silently just as Tom s
- Page 110 and 111: “Hey—sorry.” She gestured in
- Page 112 and 113: Because millions of dollars in rese
“Though, I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”
He waited patiently for her to continue.
“And I think that it would be best if we laid down some
ground rules. Before starting.”
“Ground rules?”
“Yes. You know. What we are allowed and not allowed to
do. What we can expect from this arrangement. I think that’s
pretty standard protocol, before embarking on a fake-dating
relationship.”
He tilted his head. “Standard protocol?”
“Yup.”
“How many times have you done this?”
“Zero. But I am familiar with the trope.”
“The . . . what?” He blinked at her, confused.
Olive ignored him. “Okay.” She inhaled deeply and lifted
her index finger. “First of all, this should be a strictly oncampus
arrangement. Not that I think you’d want to meet me
off campus, but just in case you were planning to kill two birds
with one stone, I’m not going to be your last-minute backup if
you need to bring a date home for Christmas, or—”
“Hanukkah.”
“What?”
“My family is more likely to celebrate Hanukkah than
Christmas.” He shrugged. “Though I’m unlikely to celebrate
either.”
“Oh.” Olive pondered it for a moment. “I guess this is
something your fake girlfriend should know.”
The ghost of a smile appeared on his mouth, but he said
nothing.
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