The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
When given a choice between A (a slightlyHYPOTHESIS:situation) and B (a colossal shitshow withinconveniencingChapter Onedevastating consequences), I will inevitably end up selecting B.Two years, eleven months laterIn Olive’s defense, the man didn’t seem to mind the kiss toomuch.It did take him a moment to adjust—perfectlyunderstandable, given the sudden circumstances. It was anawkward, uncomfortable, somewhat painful minute, in whichOlive was simultaneously smashing her lips against his andpushing herself as high as her toes would extend to keep hermouth at the same level as his face. Did he have to be so tall?The kiss must have looked like some clumsy headbutt, and shegrew anxious that she was not going to be able to pull thewhole thing off. Her friend Anh, whom Olive had spottedcoming her way a few seconds ago, was going to take one lookat this and know at once that Olive and Kiss Dude couldn’tpossibly be two people in the middle of a date.Then that agonizingly slow moment went by, and the kissbecame . . . different. The man inhaled sharply and inclined hishead a tiny bit, making Olive feel less like a squirrel monkeyclimbing a baobab tree, and his hands—which were large andpleasantly warm in the AC of the hallway—closed around herwaist. They slid up a few inches, coming to wrap aroundOlive’s rib cage and holding her to himself. Not too close, andnot too far.Just so.
It was more of a prolonged peck than anything, but it wasquite nice, and for the life span of a few seconds Olive forgot alarge number of things, including the fact that she was pressedagainst a random, unknown dude. That she’d barely had thetime to whisper “Can I please kiss you?” before locking lipswith him. That what had originally driven her to put on thisentire show was the hope of fooling Anh, her best friend in thewhole world.But a good kiss will do that: make a girl forget herself for awhile. Olive found herself melting into a broad, solid chestthat showed absolutely no give. Her hands traveled from adefined jaw into surprisingly thick and soft hair, and then—then she heard herself sigh, as if already out of breath, andthat’s when it hit her like a brick on the head, the realizationthat— No. No.Nope, nope, no.She should not be enjoying this. Random dude, and all that.Olive gasped and pushed herself away from him,frantically looking for Anh. In the 11:00 p.m. bluish glow ofthe biology labs’ hallway, her friend was nowhere to be seen.Weird. Olive was sure she had spotted her a few secondsearlier.Kiss Dude, on the other hand, was standing right in front ofher, lips parted, chest rising and a weird light flickering in hiseyes, which was exactly when it dawned on her, the enormityof what she had just done. Of who she had just—Fuck her life.Fuck. Her. Life.Because Dr. Adam Carlsen was a known ass.This fact was not remarkable in and of itself, as inacademia every position above the graduate student level(Olive’s level, sadly) required some degree of assness in order
- Page 2: Praise for The Love Hypothesis“Co
- Page 5 and 6: To my women in STEM: Kate, Caitie,
- Page 7: Chapter FourteenChapter FifteenChap
- Page 10 and 11: Olive squeaked. She tried to open h
- Page 12 and 13: “Neither are eyes.”Humph. Good
- Page 14 and 15: “Are you planning to enroll?” h
- Page 16 and 17: She could hear his smile.“I’ll
- Page 20 and 21: to be held for any length of time,
- Page 22 and 23: feature of humanity, could never un
- Page 24 and 25: good night.”“Wait!” She leane
- Page 26 and 27: “But it wasn’t my worst, either
- Page 28: Any rumor regarding my love life wi
- Page 32 and 33: “Dr. Carlsen.”Dammit, dammit, d
- Page 34 and 35: she could find, petrified. She was
- Page 36 and 37: horrible at it, which meant that ea
- Page 38 and 39: ago—and Olive immediately underst
- Page 40: “Oh. Oh, no.” That would be way
- Page 43 and 44: caught Anh kissing Adam Carlsen, sh
- Page 45: that she didn’t even flip her off
- Page 48 and 49: “I cannot believe it.”“Believ
- Page 50 and 51: This was the worst. The absolute wo
- Page 52 and 53: It was true that Anh had seemed hap
- Page 54 and 55: seemed insane.“You mean . . . for
- Page 56 and 57: probably whacked someone on the hea
- Page 58 and 59: “What do people who are dating do
- Page 60: over you and am not involved in you
- Page 63 and 64: “About you.”“Oh.” Olive’s
- Page 65 and 66: “Though, I’ve been thinking abo
- Page 67 and 68: sexual intercourse between the two
It was more of a prolonged peck than anything, but it was
quite nice, and for the life span of a few seconds Olive forgot a
large number of things, including the fact that she was pressed
against a random, unknown dude. That she’d barely had the
time to whisper “Can I please kiss you?” before locking lips
with him. That what had originally driven her to put on this
entire show was the hope of fooling Anh, her best friend in the
whole world.
But a good kiss will do that: make a girl forget herself for a
while. Olive found herself melting into a broad, solid chest
that showed absolutely no give. Her hands traveled from a
defined jaw into surprisingly thick and soft hair, and then—
then she heard herself sigh, as if already out of breath, and
that’s when it hit her like a brick on the head, the realization
that— No. No.
Nope, nope, no.
She should not be enjoying this. Random dude, and all that.
Olive gasped and pushed herself away from him,
frantically looking for Anh. In the 11:00 p.m. bluish glow of
the biology labs’ hallway, her friend was nowhere to be seen.
Weird. Olive was sure she had spotted her a few seconds
earlier.
Kiss Dude, on the other hand, was standing right in front of
her, lips parted, chest rising and a weird light flickering in his
eyes, which was exactly when it dawned on her, the enormity
of what she had just done. Of who she had just—
Fuck her life.
Fuck. Her. Life.
Because Dr. Adam Carlsen was a known ass.
This fact was not remarkable in and of itself, as in
academia every position above the graduate student level
(Olive’s level, sadly) required some degree of assness in order
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