The Horror Megapack_ 25 Classic and Modern Horror Stories ( PDFDrive )

what the next verse is, Jimbo?’
“‘No, but I think you’re going to tell me.’
“‘See a penny; leave it lay; death will claim you that same day. I learned that
from the Penny Elves. That’s one of the many things they told me.’
“‘The what kind of elves?’
“‘Penny Elves, Jim. Like tooth fairies who have been promoted, only they’re
not good enough to work for Santa Claus. I used to think it was the old gods, and
that was a grand and serene and beautiful way to look at it—the Olympian
powers exiled, forgotten, reduced to communicating to the few mortals who still
acknowledge them by penny-divination. There’s a certain pathos in the idea. But
it isn’t true. It’s all the work of these loser elves. They resent the job. They want
the prestige of being in the employ of the Big Claus, but they know they haven’t
made the grade. So they put us humans through the paces, just to make us look
ridiculous. They bait the trap with real knowledge, real predictions, and lead us
on.’
“He said all this with such conviction, such passive, yet intense resignation that
the effect was scary. I can’t put it any other way.
“‘Is this…like the Spooch Theory, Joe?’
“Suddenly he was angry. I had never seen him angry before. He threw the
remaining pennies down hard, and started shooing me toward the door.
“‘Forget it, Jimbo. You keep asking me if I can be serious. Well you can’t.
That’s pretty obvious. You won’t understand. Don’t worry about your Goddamn
artwork. You’ll get it on time. What you need to worry about is What are you
going to do when this starts happening to you? Huh, Jimbo? What?’
“He slammed the door in my face. I stood there for a minute at the top of the
stairs, stunned, and then I headed for the Bryn Mawr train station. There was
nothing I could do. I had never felt so helpless in all my life. Joe had no family
that I knew of, and I couldn’t very well spend $75.00 an hour—even if I had it—
explaining to a shrink that I had this friend who was suffering from
extraordinary delusions. What was left? Call up the police and tell them Joe was
behaving irrationally? There are lots of irrational people in our society, and
nobody cares a bit about them. You see them in every big city, sleeping on vents.
“So I caught the last train back into Philly and did nothing. “I was disturbed to
notice that there was an unusual amount of loose change on the floor of the train
car I was riding in. Nobody stooped to pick any of it up.
“Joe Eisenberg was as good as his word. He remained punctual until the end.
His work came in on time, as brilliant and wonderful as ever. Somewhere in the