I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

A flash of light wherein hope reached for despair and they embraced
whether it be for a single moment or eternity.
Tonight, I will climb to the rooftop thinking of you. My ghosts roam
beside me, a missing lung, a missing heart, and a missing mind
returned by the night.
I will see you step out into the streets, yellow blending into the
crowds, and I will reach for you with only one dream. If in your next
life, you decide to find me again, with another name, in another body,
I will give you a home. I will abide by my promise.
I will fall in love with you every time…
So will I, my love.
So will I.
endword
He said I’d make a good doctor.
In retrospect, I know he said that to make me happy the same way I
told him while he was confined to a wheelchair that he’d make an
excellent horseback rider. We made fun of each other like that,
although even on the phone, he could never do it with a straight face
and he could never not follow it with an
‘I’m joking’. It’s rare to find people so inherently nice who’ve suffered
that kind of pain. Pain is a nasty animal of the body’s own creation,
just like an autoimmune disease. It tends to destroy, but whatever it
destroyed in him, it was not his kindness.
When he died, it blindsighted me.
At first, it felt somewhat unreal and then it graduated into a physical
pain I couldn’t stand. I remember laying on the floor, wanting to
scream every time I thought of his smile.