I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

be an eternal life of some kind. Whether it is found in spirituality, in
delusion, or in God, there must be an after. A Heaven.
There is affection in that belief too. When nurses close their patients’
eyes, their sadness is coupled with gratitude. If there’s something
everyone can agree on, it is that there is no pain in death. Only an
eternal sort of peace.
I know that Sam is not an eternal being as I make him out to be. One
day, he will die, and when he does, I will lay beside him in the
ground. I will put this stolen body to rest in his embrace.
Selfishly, like a human, I’m reluctant to accept that he will die. He still
has so much life to live. He is just a boy and if time has any charity in
its heart, it will gift him more.
His medicine will work. He will heal. Even if he can’t stay here
forever, he will live his life out there in the world, and despite the
laws by which I live, I will go with him…
You must know by now that I am not normal. My flesh and blood are
fabrications created to quell my aloneness.
I am not a person. I cannot die. I will never fear death. It cannot
touch me.
Neither can disease or time. All they can do is take from me.
Do you understand why it is so dangerous for me to live now?
Everyone wonders what comes after death, but none can grasp the
cruelty of being kept alive forever.
In the end, my curse is simple.
I will remember those I love longer than I had a chance to know
them.
—