I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

They didn’t find their everything.
And their only heaven left to reach was in death.
I don’t realize I am crying until a teardrop hits the page. It soaks into
the white and smudged tint of blue and black. I clench my fists over
the counter, shutting my eyes so hard they hurt.
Is this it?
Is this what their lives amounted to? Is this the unfair ending that I
was told to cry and rage and curse? Is that single day full of tattoos
and beaches the in between I am meant to cherish? Did they live
only to die? Is love pointless?
Is even the only thing that cannot be stolen destined to be lost? Is
there anyone, anyone in the world, whether they be human, shadow,
enemy, or God, that could answer me?!
I cry silently, staring down at the empty page. I miss them so much it
carves through me. I miss Hikari and all the things that make up her
soul. I miss being able to fall and knowing I would be caught. I miss
the moment we caught her and our embrace on the cold floors of the
old cardiology wing that kept out the world.
Hee meows in my face then. I try to pet her, but she shakes me off.
She meows again, running across the Hit List, knocking it over and
tearing the page with her claws.
“Hee! Careful!” I yell.
I grab the notebook as tenderly as I can, placing it back on the
counter like a crying baby in need of attention. I wipe it off and look
through the ripped piece. Only, after the torn, tear-ridden page of Our
Escape, there isn’t an ensemble of empty sheets like I expected…
A sad string of piano notes sings as it starts to snow. All else
becomes blurred. Muffled. Lost to another world. White spots sink in