I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

He doesn’t. He grabs another chart and gets back to work, only now
his pen is fresh out of ink. He gets frustrated and scribbles so hard
that the tip breaks through the page. His eyes become heavy as if
the pen itself has committed a great offense by not working. He
tosses it aside and knocks the chart off the table entirely. It clatters,
and Eric plants his elbows, pulling at his own hair.
“Eric?”
“Do you know where the word patient comes from?” he asks. “It
means the one who suffers. Hospital comes from the word hospes
which means stranger.
Or guest, depending on how you feel interpreting Latin. I learned that
in college. I was on my eighth cup of coffee alone in the medical
section of the old library. I sat in a crummy chair praying that I’d pass
my finals and right there, in the midst of my privileged struggle, I
realized that a newborn baby and a dying old man are both suffering
strangers.” His hands descend to his face, forming a prayer bind
around his nose. “I realized that I was starting a career in a place
where people begin and end their lives.”
Hee meows again, propping herself up on her hind legs to press her
paws against Eric’s chest. She nuzzles under his jaw, scratching her
head against his stubble.
Erics sighs and pets her.
“I could lie to you, Sam,” he says. “I could tell you that it’s important
to be grateful, like Neo’s mom, but I’m not. I’m angry. I’m angry that
their doctors didn’t do more. I’m angry that I didn’t do more. I’m
angry that kids have to go through this sheer amount of pain and I’m
angry they died.”
His voice gains a struggled quality. But rather than throw a pen or
capsize a chart or hit something or yell, he crumbles. He takes
Sony’s cat into an