I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

“What?”
“Henry,” I say, my chest all tight. “When he lost his leg in the war, his
friend died next to him. He cried. He screamed. He just wanted to be
with him.”
“He told you that?”
“No.” I shake my head, and the blood of that day may as well be
spilled on the floor. I can smell it, feel it. “No, I saw it.”
“My love, Henry lost his leg over sixty years ago,” Sam says. “You
wouldn’t have been born yet.”
My existence is difficult to phrase and even harder to explain. No
one has ever questioned it. No one has ever wondered. As such,
when Sam’s confused gaze meets mine, I’m not sure how to say it.
“I–” I swallow. “I am not like the other broken things you know.”
Sam’s arms fall slowly, his hands settling on my wrists, the scar he
bears brushing against my skin. He frowns, confused.
“I don’t understand.”
“This place,” I say, “This is where I belong. This is who I am.” I bring
my hands up to Sam’s face, tracing the curvature, the way it’s
changed yet stayed the same in so many ways.
“I was so lonely,” I say like I’m apologizing. “I wanted to know why
the people I’m meant to protect always slip through my fingers.” I
want to cry. I want to cry and bring Henry and his friend both back. I
want them to hug like Sam, and I hug and smoke their pipes and live
together in that little cabin by the river.
I stutter over a sob. “Why do people have to die?”
Sam doesn’t know what to say. He’s always been full of teachings
ever since he was little, but this has always been my one search for