I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

“To add to your collection.”
Hikari smiles. A weak, but trying smile.
“I’d kiss you if I wasn’t gross right now,” she whispers. I put my
hands on her knees and peck her lips, taking the succulent from her
and sitting it next to all the others on the windowsill.
“Is it time?” she asks, looking at her shoes. I kneel before her and tie
them, catching the sorrow in her gaze.
“I’ll ask Eric if we can go tomorrow.”
“No.” She shakes her head, standing up. “No, let’s do it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she says, and so I lead her out of the room.
—
Sony passed away six days ago.
The first three nights, Hikari cried. It was the violent sort, the kind
where loss thrashed in steady waves of sobbing through her body.
Then, it died into silence and her tears fell without a voice behind
them.
The last three have been dry, but there are moments Hikari falters.
Because you don’t lose someone once. You lose them hearing a
song that reminds you of their smile. Passing an old landmark.
Laughing at a joke they would’ve laughed at. You lose them infinitely.
I hold Hikari’s hand as we pass C’s room. Through the wall, you can
hear his parents speaking in French. Their anger at C for stealing his
dad’s truck
and running off didn’t survive long once they heard about Sony.
What did is their concern. It bleeds through the language.