I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

It takes me a moment, but I do. The nice lady. The first thing I
noticed about her back then was that she stumbled when she walked
and that she always drank too much water. What Sam noticed was
her warmth and the time she took to stop by his room to gift him
treats.
He takes my hand.
“Don’t worry, my sweet Sam,” he says. “She’s strong. She’ll make it.”
My sweet Sam. That’s what he calls me. Sam because we share the
name.
Sweet because he says I never leave him feeling bitter. And my
because I am his.
Those three words have become my beck and call, a source of
comfort like his touch and the yellow flares in his eyes.
The memories of red smeared across skin and floors alike have not
left me.
Violence continues to seep into these walls. It finds new shapes to
take. Disease does too, skillfully. I’ve watched so many people
succumb to them both, but Sam begs me to protect the castle and
everyone in it anyway. He begs for us to do it together.
All I want is to make him happy.
So, I pretend.
I pretend for weeks as the kind woman deteriorates, that I believe
Sam when he tells me it’ll be okay, not to worry, that she’s strong,
and that she’ll
make it. Sam doesn’t ignore that she’s becoming an outline of her
skeleton fixed beneath the sheets. He acknowledges she looks
worse, but rather than give up, he brings his potted plants and shows